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Chapter 28
“…So what exactly are you trying to say?”
How was I supposed to react to Ains showing up out of nowhere and claiming he could guide the mana within me? Was he offering help?
Of course, that could have been one way to interpret it.
But I was already undergoing training with Master Cesare to suppress my rampaging mana on my own. And today, I had finally managed to learn how to actually feel it.
All of this wasn’t because I was particularly talented—it was mostly thanks to my steady absorption of high-grade mana stones to try and fend off the Trinz disease.
What I needed now wasn’t Ains’s help, but training that would allow me to overcome this illness by myself.
“I’ll help stabilize your mana. You don’t need anyone else’s help.”
Ains spoke confidently, as if assuming I would grasp at his words like a lifeline.
But his words didn’t resonate with me at all. I no longer felt the need for his assistance.
“Duke Graham, I appreciate your concern, but I don’t need help anymore.”
“Why not? Do you even realize your current state? Your mana could spiral out of control at any moment. Even if you learn to handle mana from Master Cesare, what will you do if it explodes right away? You know mana stones or suppressants are only temporary solutions, right?”
Ains, whose expression had been dry and detached, furrowed his brow in confusion and pressed me further.
“And handling mana isn’t something anyone can do. Certainly not in a short time. So…”
“Whether it’s something anyone can do or something that takes time, it’s my responsibility, not yours. Even if your offer is meant as help, I don’t want it.”
We had become strangers now. Perhaps even worse than strangers.
“I’ll handle the aftereffects myself. You don’t need to worry about that. Please, just leave. I’ve already spent a lot of energy learning mana, and I’m a bit tired.”
I judged that continuing the conversation would be futile.
Ains showed no sign of yielding, and I had no intention of conceding. So, to end the conversation, one of us had to boldly turn away—and I realized that it had to be me.
“It seems you’ve gone through the trouble of coming here, but I don’t think I can give you the answer you wanted. Please, leave.”
I issued a unilateral dismissal toward Ains and turned to walk inside, careful not to let him grab me.
Thankfully, there were no footsteps following me, so it seemed he didn’t insist on coming inside.
Once inside the main building, I heard the front door close behind me. Only then did the tension in my body finally release.
“Are you alright?”
Rivet rushed to support me as I stumbled. I smiled at her and then freed myself from her hold.
“I’m fine. I just felt a bit drained. But thank you for worrying.”
“Yes. Please let me know if you need anything.”
“Yeah, I will.”
Regaining my balance, I climbed the stairs toward my bedroom, feeling the need to rest.
Passing by the window, I glanced outside instinctively.
Ains was still standing by the gate, staring at the main building with an unreadable expression.
Even if he stayed there, it wouldn’t make me go back down…
With that thought, I turned away and entered my room.
The day had been overwhelming—practicing mana, serving tea to Master Cesare, and then dealing with Ains. For someone still physically weak, it was a lot to handle at once.
I asked Rivet to wake me up later and lay down on my bed, closing my eyes.
Even after Cecilia had entered, Ains couldn’t leave that spot. The cold, distant image of her back still lingered in his mind.
Since learning about Cecilia’s illness and realizing that Master Cesare visited the mansion to treat her aftereffects, Ains hadn’t slept comfortably a single day.
Even when the mana training ended, Master Cesare had placed a hand on her shoulder.
It wasn’t part of the training, which meant Cesare had intentionally tried to make contact with her.
Night after night, Ains recalled Master Cesare teaching Cecilia how to feel mana beyond the iron fence.
He didn’t understand why Cesare kept appearing in his mind. Normally, meeting Cesare as the head of the Graham trading guild didn’t stir any emotions, but since that day, recalling him brought a strange heat rising from within.
This feeling was remarkably similar to the one he had felt when Cecilia was with the Moldovan Count.
Yet, it was only similar; it wasn’t the same. When she was with the Moldovan Count, he hadn’t felt this intense inner anger.
If his irritation came from someone else being near Cecilia, then what was the difference between the two situations?
Ains thought about this all night, gradually making sense of the feelings that tormented him.
He summarized them into three points:
First, he didn’t like anyone being close to Cecilia.
Second, the Moldovan Count was ultimately just a shallow nobleman, interested only in pockets and petty gain.
Third, Master Cesare was not.
It was ridiculous to feel lingering attachment to Cecilia after a divorce, yet Ains’s state wasn’t something he could easily laugh off.
Every night, Cecilia’s image appeared in his mind. Every morning, he felt the emptiness left by her absence.
But Ains didn’t call it love.
He only saw it as regret over someone who had been by his side for so long leaving him. After all, he had spent over ten years with Cecilia.
It was natural to feel emptiness when someone you’ve been with every day leaves. And noticing someone else getting close to her naturally provoked this anger.
People around him sensed this self-rationalization, but to avoid upsetting him, they didn’t comment.
Ultimately, Ains had come to see Cecilia to suppress these recurring emotions.
Had he known that his plan would be utterly crushed, he wouldn’t have come at all.
“Duke, shouldn’t you consider leaving now?”
Advisor Jackson cautiously suggested to Ains.
Jackson judged that Cecilia, having gone inside the mansion, wouldn’t come back out just to see Ains. Standing outside waiting would only damage his dignity and appear rude to her.
“…”
But Ains remained unmoved, as if determined to wait there until Cecilia emerged.
Jackson sighed, recalling unfinished business at the guild.
It was clear to him that Ains was suffering from failed love.
He had taken Cecilia’s presence for granted, ignored her, and now, after her departure, was only beginning to understand his own feelings.
But telling proud Ains this fact could provoke unpredictable reactions.
It would be better if he realized it on his own…
Jackson stepped back, unable to say anything, and possibly expected Ains to stay there for half a day.
Thankfully, less than half an hour later, Ains finally turned.
“Go.”
Ains spoke in a voice devoid of force. Jackson lowered his head in response.
“Yes, understood.”
Ains’s expression remained blank, but Jackson couldn’t shake the feeling that something inside him had broken.
