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Chapter 7
Kijeff, who rarely smiled in public, often smiled gently in front of me.
Because I remembered him that way in every moment, I couldn’t even imagine a cold or stern Kijeff.
“You might not know this, but when your hair turned pink, Mother cheered. As you know, both I and Werner clearly took after Father in appearance.”
“Ah……”
“She was so happy, saying that Father’s genes had finally been defeated.”
I had heard this story before from my father as well.
On the night of my mother’s memorial day, he once read me a book as I lay in bed trying to sleep, and told it like a memory.
“I remember it too, in a way.”
“Darling, Calips. Did you see? Our youngest’s hair is pink! Ah, my stomach…”
“Yunis, don’t try to sit up. You need to rest.”
“Hehe, I just got so emotional because I finally won against your genes without meaning to…”
“You’re that happy?”
“Of course I am. I love that our sons look like you, but I did think… just a little bit… it’s a shame. And you once said it too, didn’t you? That you wanted a daughter who looked like me.”
“…That was just something I said.”
“Oh? So now you’re saying that in front of our daughter? Roweina, your father is a bit lacking in delicacy.”
“No, that’s not what I meant…”
Even through the pain of childbirth, my mother’s voice had been full of joy and love.
In truth, I was asleep at the time, so it wasn’t really my memory. It was a scene shown to me by the spirits.
Water spirit Kan had shown me the scene, and wind spirit Rani had given it sound.
If I had known such an everyday moment would disappear so quickly, I would have tried to accept it sooner.
A heaviness filled my chest.
“…Well. My older brothers do resemble Father more.”
I muttered in a slightly hoarse voice, and Kijeff knelt down in front of me.
“Want a hug from your brother after a long time?”
“…You already hugged me earlier.”
“That was just a greeting. Don’t you want it?”
“No… I do.”
Dragging out my words, I leaned into Kijeff’s arms as if collapsing.
Even though I wasn’t exactly small anymore, Kijeff lifted me effortlessly, showing no strain at all.
“You’re not heavy, right? You won’t be able to carry me forever.”
“Well… you feel like I’m holding a feather.”
“What kind of feather is this heavy?”
“I’m just saying you feel like one.”
“That makes no sense…”
I laughed weakly and wrapped my arms around his neck.
When I was younger, being held like this felt awkward because my adult mind didn’t match my child’s body.
But humans adapt. Now, being held like this felt as natural as walking.
“Still, if I get too heavy, you have to put me down.”
“I’ll put you down tomorrow.”
“Hmm. Then Werner will get mad.”
“That would be troublesome…”
He sounded genuinely bothered.
“But you’ll still spar with little brother later anyway.”
“Just checking his skills.”
“Hehe. He’s been training really hard. He said he’d surprise you when you came back. He even improved his magic.”
“Really? I’ll look forward to it.”
“But don’t go too hard on him.”
“Haha. Alright. I’ll go easy.”
“Good.”
Rowel smiled in satisfaction.
After that, their conversation shifted to Kijeff’s academy life and small happenings at the ducal estate during his absence.
Eventually, as they finished their walk and headed back to the main building, Kijeff spoke.
“Hey, Rowell.”
“Yeah?”
“Even when you grow up and become an adult, I don’t think I’ll ever forget the first moment I saw you.”
“…Why?”
“Because that was the moment I realized I had no choice but to love you.”
His voice was as firm and gentle as the arms holding me.
I couldn’t fully understand what he meant, but I could clearly feel his affection.
“I like that you’re my brother. I like Werner too.”
After a long silence, I answered sincerely while still holding onto his neck.
Even though it was a very small voice, Kijeff heard it clearly and let out a quiet laugh.
“Then I’ll head to the training ground. See you at dinner.”
“Okay. Don’t get hurt.”
“Thanks for worrying. I’ll be careful.”
Kijeff stood up after fixing my slightly messy hair.
Soon after, he turned the corner and disappeared.
I lowered the hand that had been waving and went back into my room.
Thud—.
I threw myself onto the soft bed as I walked inside.
After lying there for a while, I exhaled and stared at the ceiling.
I stretched out my arm. My hand still looked small and rounded.
I stared at it quietly.
Compared to when it looked like a maple leaf, it had grown a lot, but it was still far from an adult hand.
“Still so small…”
Compared to Kijeff’s hand I had just held, and even Werner’s, mine was much smaller.
Kijeff was six years older, Werner was four years older, so it was natural.
But that “natural” fact sometimes felt strange.
Because I had an adult mind inside a child’s body.
When I wasn’t fully used to it—when I still hadn’t completely accepted life as Roweina von Valentine—my small hands would sometimes overlap with my real ones.
And when that happened, my mood would sink. An endless cycle of sadness.
“…I’m better now, at least.”
After clenching and unclenching my fist a few times, I buried my face into the bed again.
It seemed too early to read Alan’s memoir after all.
With Kijeff and Werner back, the Valentine ducal estate became much livelier.
My daily routine also changed slightly.
More precisely, it returned to how it was before Kijeff left for the academy.
“Rowell, time to wake up.”
“Ugh… five more minutes…”
“Hm. I heard dessert after breakfast today is fruit pudding… If you oversleep, Werner might—”
I jumped out of bed in a hurry.
“I’m up… I’m up!”
Even though my words tangled, my sleepiness vanished instantly.
“Haha. Good morning, Rowell. Did you sleep well?”
“Yeah… good morning, Kijeff…”
As I nodded in a half-dream state, the door suddenly opened.
“Hey, kid, it’s my turn tod— ah, hyung! It’s my turn today!”
Werner threw the door open and snapped at Kijeff.
Of course, Kijeff wasn’t affected at all.
“You were late.”
“By two minutes! Two minutes!”
“Late is late.”
“Ugh! Just you wait, if you’re even one second late I’ll take over!”
“Do whatever you want.”
Werner was the type who had once installed a double-lock spell on Kijeff’s door at night just to “take his turn” waking me up first.
In the end, Werner stayed up waiting for Kijeff to fall asleep, got tired himself, and overslept—so it was actually my father who woke me up.
I blinked at them and got out of bed.
“Yawn… I’ll wash up and come down, so you two go ahead…”
“I’ll wait outside.”
“Me too!”
“Alright, alright.”
Werner grumbled about unfairness while Kijeff ignored him, and they both left.
Then, as if replacing them, Basha entered.
“Good morning, young lady. The young masters seem to be getting along as always.”
Basha smiled warmly.
“Little brother really likes big brother.”
“He has looked up to the eldest young master since they were children.”
“He still does. Oh right, good morning, Basha.”
Only then did I greet her, and she smiled softly.
“You slept well, didn’t you? Your eyes are a little puffy.”
“Yeah… I slept really well. Father’s voice is basically a sleeping potion.”
“Hohho. That’s just like the young masters. They used to fall asleep instantly whenever the lord read to them.”
“Ugh…”
After washing my face with lukewarm water Basha brought, she gently dried me.
“Basha… Father isn’t secretly using magic or anything, right?”
“No way, young lady.”
“Right… then maybe it’s genetic?”
“Or perhaps you simply feel safe around him.”
“Hm.”
After finishing preparations and leaving the room, Kijeff and Werner were already waiting.
“Did I keep you waiting? You could’ve gone ahead…”
“Hyung, did you hear that? She’s talking about you.”
“I meant both of you.”
“…Rowell, are you turning on me too?”
Werner looked offended.
His expression wasn’t fake—his drooping eyes made that obvious.
That made me laugh.
“Just kidding.”
Together, we headed down to the dining room, where our father was already waiting.
