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Chapter 33
Azen wandered through a dream.
In that dream, she appeared as the innocent young girl she once was, tying a green ribbon on him with a bright smile. She danced lightly through a flower field, twirling around, her face blossoming with joy. She received a floral crown from him at a tournament and smiled beautifully once more.
Then she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close. Their lips met again and again. When they finally parted, her cheeks were flushed, and she lowered her head, shyly smiling.
It wasn’t a forced smile—it was pure happiness and joy.
That smile made his heart flutter, and his own spirits felt as if they were floating in the sky.
But at some point, she began to drift away.
“Where are you going?”
No matter how fast he ran, she only seemed to grow more distant.
“Don’t go. Wait. Come with me.”
Though she walked slowly and he ran with all his might, the distance between them widened. Before long, she had shrunk so much she vanished from sight.
The surroundings were dark.
No matter where he looked, there was nothing.
From somewhere far away came the sound of crying.
The wailing was heartrending, like it could melt the liver with sorrow.
She was crying.
He needed to go comfort her, hold her—but no matter how he wandered, the distant sobs didn’t come closer.
Hearing her sorrowful cries, he continued to wander, unable to find her.
Am I incapable of comforting you?
Gradually, even the sound of crying faded until it disappeared entirely.
He was left alone in darkness.
He didn’t even know which way to go.
He had to find her… she must still be crying…
Suddenly, he heard her voice again.
Where is this?
He focused on her voice. He had to find her.
“I relieve you of your sword and shield,”
…What?
“Your responsibilities and duties are no longer in Luthern, nor is your loyalty and honor tied to Luthern.”
Stop. Don’t.
“And by breaking our vow, your honor is no longer mine.”
No. Don’t abandon me, please.
“You are free.”
Arlen—!
Arlen had left a document at Nilo’s house, written with pen and paper, breaking all oaths of loyalty and pledges so that Azen would discover it once he woke.
The Duchy of Luthern may have already revoked her family’s title, but as the only living direct heir, she was the head of the Luthern family.
The family head had the authority to strip a knight of his rank.
Of course, for a knight, being stripped of rank or having a pledge broken by a lady was the ultimate dishonor—no one would willingly endure such disgrace.
But this was the daughter of a traitorous family. It was better to be freed than bound to a house of rebels.
Even if it meant dishonor, I hope you live… despite it all.
She looked down at Azen’s sleeping face, took a deep breath, and quietly began declaring the breaking of her vows.
“You cannot hear this now, because you are asleep… which is for the best.”
First, she broke the oath she had made to the Luthern family as a knight. Then, she broke the pledge she had given to him as her lady.
The image of him kneeling before her, asking for her pledge on a bright autumn day, came vividly to mind. So did the cheering crowd…
Yes, there had been beautiful and peaceful times. She had been so happy that he asked for the pledge.
But now, on the path she was about to take, she wished he would not follow.
Suddenly, his voice echoed in her mind.
“Will you marry me?”
Under the beautiful night sky, those shy words he had whispered a few days ago lingered in her heart. Now it felt like a distant memory.
She, a helpless criminal who couldn’t even run on her own and had to cling to him, had been greedy… how far had she let her desires go?
Because of my selfishness, you are now…
After breaking the oaths and pledges, she pressed her trembling chest with one hand, paused in silence, and finally spoke.
“You are free.”
If you were alone, you could fly to safety.
She hesitated, then, seeing him fully asleep, leaned down and pressed her lips to his slowly and softly.
Then she stood.
She emptied her bag of jewels and gold onto the table. They were useless to her now.
Seeing the medicine bottles Nilo had prepared and checking the cabinet, she took a few bottles—painkillers, stimulants, and more—drinking some immediately and tucking three more into her coat.
She only needed to stay conscious for another day. After that, she need not think further.
She wrapped herself in a thick cloak, glanced one last time at the sleeping man, and stepped out.
“Miss?”
“Nilo.”
She smiled. Having cried and steeled her resolve, she could summon her smile again.
“Thank you. Please take care of Azen. They probably won’t come here, but if someone asks, tell the truth. Maybe it’s best to leave here quickly. I’m sorry.”
“Miss?”
Nilo was confused. He had assumed she would hide here, then flee with Sir Azen.
But Arlen mounted her horse before he could stop her.
“Tell Azen that I ran far ahead alone, so he should escape alone too. I left some gold and valuables on the table. Use them if needed.”
“Miss, going alone?”
“Yes. I have to go alone.”
She gazed into the distance, repeating softly:
“I have to go alone.”
She should have gone alone from the start. Even now…
“Take care, Nilo. Thank you. Live happily.”
She smiled once more, then turned and rode away. Today would be a long day for her, and perhaps her last.
Arlen rode fast.
She rode to the nearest town first.
Her body, overloaded with medicine, had abnormal breathing and a pounding heart. She felt fine—as long as it let her run.
Perhaps she even felt exhilarated. Maybe some of the drugs were narcotic. At least while their effects lasted, fear would not stop her.
By the time the artificial stimulation wore off and fear threatened to paralyze her, she would already be far away.
She might collapse from exhaustion at some point, but as long as it was after putting some distance between her pursuers, it would be okay. Just half a day more…
She removed her hood, letting her blonde hair flutter, and deliberately left traces in town before riding on.
She had to go as far as possible, as far as her body could carry her.
In the next village, she showed her blonde hair and green eyes briefly, then ran on before anyone could chase her.
As she ran, she took more medicine whenever the effects began to fade.
The sun set, and darkness fell.
Her horse, exhausted from a full day without rest, slowed. It shivered and stopped.
“Ah…”
She grabbed the reins, steadying herself, then dismounted.
“Sorry for making you suffer.”
She patted the horse’s head.
“Thank you for taking me this far. Now you’re free too. Farewell.”
After bidding farewell to the horse, she turned away.
I’ve gone far enough. It’s okay. I did well.
She looked up at the night sky.
Now, it was time to wait.
She sat on a stone railing, one knee raised, staring down at the river.
The torrent below roared dark blue, likely swollen from upstream rain. The black water seemed capable of swallowing everything in an instant, like a river to the afterlife.
The stone railing was wide enough to sit safely, but at night, any slip would make finding her body impossible.
She couldn’t go yet.
Her eyes adjusted to the dark, and the moonlight illuminated a vast field below, where wildflowers shimmered blue under the moon.
The field was empty now, but soon knights would arrive on horseback.
The wind brushed her hair.
“I’m sorry.”
She whispered to those who risked their lives to save her… and to Azen, who did the same.
Stopping now was better than sacrificing more. She thought silently.
No, from the start… it would have been better.
She rested her heavy head on her knees, staring at the dark river below.
It’s okay. My family went ahead. Those who tried to save me went first. I was always meant to go first.
Though she hadn’t expected to leave in such misery.
Looking up, the night sky was stunningly beautiful.
A silver-blue moon shone against the black canvas above, stars scattered like dust.
Arlen gazed, numb, at the surreal beauty of the night, even as everyone she loved was gone and Azen’s fate uncertain, as she awaited her own death.
Somehow… it felt okay.
It’s okay.
A little… very little… scary, but okay.
…He will survive. That’s okay.
In a week, he will fully recover. By then, my execution will have already happened… Alone, he can cross mountains and borders. Wesland will welcome a skilled knight in exile. He is a promising knight.
He will be angry when he wakes. Very angry.
She chuckled softly, burying her head in her arms.
She was exhausted. The drugs’ effects had worn off, her body trembled, her head swam, her limbs tingled.
Yet she could not give in—not yet. Not until they came.
Waiting too long would be worse.
She fiddled with the dagger in her hand.
Come.
Come take me.
Take me… to my family…
Suddenly, behind her, a rustle.
She slowly turned her head.
A familiar, unexpected figure stood there.
“Kashien…”
