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Chapter 17 …
A gentle touch, like someone softly playing a harp.
A warm sensation slipped between the strands of her hair.
If this was a dream, she didn’t want to wake up.
Who could it be?
Who was touching her so tenderly, as if she were precious?
No way…
“Aiden…”
The moment she whispered his name, the hand stroking her hair froze.
Feeling something strange, Elena slowly opened her eyes and saw a familiar face.
Ah, so this is why they say a woman’s intuition is always right.
“Decarus…”
“That’s right.”
Bathed in moonlight, his face shone beautifully, like a water nymph.
His crimson eyes gleamed softly, moist as if holding back tears.
He reached out and gently caressed her cheek, which stuck out softly like a peach.
His touch was warm and tender, like handling a newborn child.
“I missed you.”
“……”
The trembling in her body at the sight of him was familiar.
They say that when a dog sees someone it fears, it can’t even bark—it just trembles.
That was exactly how she felt now.
She had sworn earlier to stand up against him, but her body wouldn’t move.
“Don’t touch me…”
Elena forced the trembling out of her voice and managed to squeeze out the words.
Decarus let out a soft, mocking snort, rested his chin on his hand, and gazed at her.
His languid eyes seemed like black holes, ready to swallow her whole.
“You’re beautiful.”
He looked at her with the reverence of a parent gazing at their newborn child.
But that wasn’t the kind of touch or gaze she wanted.
She just wanted his presence to disappear from before her eyes.
“I thought about you all day.”
“……”
A long arm slipped under the blanket and wrapped around her slender body.
Elena couldn’t even scream. Trapped in his embrace, she squirmed helplessly.
“What are you doing…!”
“I was afraid you’d disappear again.”
He closed his eyes and rubbed his face gently against her soft pink hair.
A faint peachy scent lingered at the tip of his nose.
“I was afraid you’d leave my arms.”
She understood the meaning of his words, but couldn’t empathize with them.
If anything, they only fueled her defiance.
“You know it too.”
“……”
“You’re the one holding my leash.”
Elena spoke with resignation.
The word “leash” made her feel like a dog, and she almost laughed at the absurdity.
The miserable feeling lodged itself deep in her heart, refusing to leave.
She truly felt like she had become someone who couldn’t do anything without his command.
“Yes.”
She remained in his arms silently for a long time.
She thought he might have fallen asleep, so she shifted slightly,
but each time she did, he pressed a kiss against her,
so she gave up and stayed still.
“What did you do today?”
“You… don’t need to know.”
Her sharp reply made Decarus let out a short sigh.
“I heard you were with Jane earlier.”
What was his deal, asking when he already knew?
The more they talked, the more exhaustion crept over her.
She didn’t want to continue this conversation.
“I’m going to sleep.”
“Just a little longer.”
He gently turned her to face him.
A strange atmosphere passed between their locked gazes.
It was clear he had no intention of letting go.
At this rate, it felt like the night would never end.
“Did you have fun with Jane?”
His eyes traveled slowly over her — her eyes, nose, and lips.
She felt as if his gaze might burn a hole through her face.
“…Yeah.”
“What did you do that was so fun?”
The tip of his nose brushed hers, tickling like a playful greeting.
She flinched and tried to pull away, but he only hugged her tighter by the waist.
“…Just a walk.”
Their faces were so close a sheet of paper could barely fit between them.
His hot breath lingered in the narrow space.
Each time she moved her lips, they brushed against his, creating an odd, electric feeling.
“Good. That’s nice.”
He tilted his head slightly and pressed his lips to hers.
Soft skin met like overlapping petals.
But Elena didn’t look at him, didn’t touch him.
She just stared blankly into the air with empty eyes.
“I love you.”
It was a weighty declaration.
Not playful. Not clumsy. Sincere.
The heavy words pressed down on her frozen heart like a stone.
“I want to sleep.”
She didn’t want to hear something so nauseating and goosebump-inducing.
Especially not from him.
Elena turned away, facing the window.
But she couldn’t escape the tight arms still wrapped around her.
“Let go.”
Instead of replying, he pressed a brief kiss to the nape of her neck.
It seemed he intended to sleep just like this.
She sighed in frustration but didn’t resist further.
Elena closed her eyes, feeling the breeze coming through the window.
The sound of insects chirping and leaves rustling filled the room.
For that brief moment, she felt a sense of freedom from him.
As her eyes began to grow heavy, a low whisper brushed against her ear.
“I always imagined this.”
“……”
“Falling asleep while holding you like this.”
He laced his fingers through her delicate hand.
The warmth where they touched spread through her.
“If only I had found you sooner.”
“……”
“Would things have been different?”
His sunken voice carried a familiar sense of longing.
Why did he always speak like someone yearning for a lost lover?
As if they were tied by a red string of fate.
“Well, I guess it doesn’t matter now.”
“……”
“Because you’re already in my arms.”
His damp, low voice melted into her ear.
His hot breath against her skin made her body flinch involuntarily.
“I know you’re pretending to sleep.”
He snorted quietly and brushed her hair aside.
Embarrassed, Elena tried to pull her fingers away,
but he gripped them tighter, refusing to let her escape.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
She answered shyly, cheeks warm with embarrassment.
Being caught like this, becoming the object of his amusement—
she wanted to smack herself.
“Adorable.”
She exhaled sharply, annoyed by his sweet words.
She didn’t want to hear these cheesy lines anymore.
He repeated them so often that her ears felt calloused.
“You still don’t know how to be loved.”
Decarus leaned in and nibbled gently on her earlobe.
The sensation was like a bug crawling past her ear, making her shiver.
“You always try to push it away instead of accepting it.”
“…Stop it.”
Elena turned around abruptly to face him.
She was furious at the way he kept judging her.
She had never said she wanted to be loved. She had never asked for it.
“You don’t realize how precious you are, do you?”
His fingers slipped through her long hair.
His touch was as delicate as if he were handling fragile glass.
“No matter what kind of life you’ve lived, it doesn’t matter to me.”
“……”
“Elena, you are who you are.”
He lowered his head and met her eyes directly.
His clear, glass-like gaze held transparent sincerity.
Like facing a mirror that reflected only the truth,
she couldn’t avoid or deny it anymore.
“That’s why I can’t help but love you.”
“……”
“You’re too precious and lovely.”
Her heart churned like waves.
Listening to his voice made it feel like something inside was about to explode.
Elena lowered her head and bit her lip hard.
“Come here.”
He pulled her into his arms.
His slow, gentle pats on her back gradually calmed her shaking heart.
Her face pressed against his firm chest, she could hear his heartbeat.
She matched her breathing to its steady rhythm.
“Why do you keep hurting me, and still keep pulling me back…?”
Her sorrowful voice melted into his chest.
Every time her small lips moved, his pajama fabric crumpled.
“I hate you so much, but I can’t escape.”
“……”
“Why do you keep appearing before my eyes, making me feel so miserable?”
He silently stroked her long hair.
His kiss on the top of her head was soft and warm, like snow settling quietly.
“I hate you. I really hate you… but my heart feels strange. When I’m with you, my chest keeps tightening…”
Tears came silently.
The surge of emotion reached its breaking point.
Tears pooled at her eyes and fell one by one.
“Stop breaking me. I’ll be your doll—just please, leave me alone…”
She had spent more than half her life enduring verbal and physical abuse.
No one had ever told her they loved her, or that she was precious simply for existing.
She couldn’t even remember what it was like to be held warmly.
She hated the world, hated the parents who abandoned her.
She blamed herself every day but never learned to love herself.
All of that hatred had always turned inward.
She believed she was the seed of her own misfortune.
But why did the people here keep saying she was precious? That she was loved?
“Elena.”
It felt foreign.
She had never once considered herself precious.
She had never once thought of herself as special.
Could this world be fake—built to deceive her?
Was this God’s final punishment to someone who had known only pain all her life?
Her cold, loveless heart felt like it might shatter.
“It’s okay.”
He kissed her forehead and patted her back slowly.
His gentle touch comforted her, like a warm voice saying she was safe.
“You wanted to be loved, didn’t you?”
His voice resonated in her heart, prompting a question within herself.
Did she want to be loved?
Did she really want to be held by someone?
She stood at the crossroads of “yes” and “no.”
She had lived so long without knowing who she was.
She had kept herself together, never stopping to care for herself.
She didn’t even know what she wanted.
“I hate you. I really hate you…”
The drizzle had turned into a river of tears.
His broad shoulders were soaked through with her transparent sorrow.
The child who had never learned how to cry now sobbed with all her heart.
“Yes, Elena.”
