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Chapter: 26
“……Mila.”
Who was it that said he was a docile puppy?
“Duke…… you’re here?”
Even after Mila crashed into him with her whole body, Kagen stood there proudly without moving an inch, radiating a chilling aura. It was enough to make one wonder if the freezing cold that had passed through the glaciers of the northern sea of Iresia had forgotten the order of the seasons and come all the way here.
“There is something I have always wanted to say to you.”
With a low voice that sounded as if it was echoing from beneath a massive glacier, Kagen began speaking. Mila hugged the basket tightly like a lifeline and lowered her head.
“Yes. I am listening, Duke.”
“I have always been grateful that you make the Duchess happy.”
“You give me too much credit.”
She said she wasn’t scared at all.
“However.”
“Yes, Duke.”
Why was Mila trembling?
“Choose your words carefully.”
“Of course, Duke. This mouth of mine was too careless.”
Like a reckless puppy standing before a monster, Mila tucked her tail between her legs, lowered her eyes politely, and stood there.
And Kagen.
“I trust that you will make sure I do not have to say this twice.”
His handsome cheeks were slightly flushed.
“Would I dare disobey, Duke?”
“It seems you were just on your way out.”
“Yes, that is correct. I shall leave immediately.”
Mila almost hid herself inside the basket, then hurriedly backed away down the hallway and disappeared into the distance. It was such incredible speed that I wondered whether even if I ran after her, I could catch up.
“You’re back, Kagen?”
Even though I was wearing pajamas, I checked my appearance carefully to make sure nothing was out of place before greeting him. I felt embarrassed, as if I had become a lazy wife in front of my husband who had returned after entertaining the Crown Prince until late.
“I apologize for disturbing your rest so late at night. I was on my way to my room, but I wanted to check that you were resting well and say goodnight.”
He was speaking faster than usual, unlike himself. I noticed the faint blush still lingering on his cheeks, but I pretended not to and smiled.
“You worked hard. Did His Highness the Crown Prince go to bed?”
“Yes. Some time ago. I stopped by my office, finished up some work, and came here.”
“I should have helped you.”
When I said that apologetically, he immediately shook his head.
“It was something I had to handle anyway.”
Then he continued in an even more hurried tone.
“His Highness the Crown Prince says he will depart for Winfris the day after tomorrow. Prince Zeke sent a telegram saying there was an urgent matter regarding state affairs that required discussion, asking him to return as soon as possible.”
His gaze was wandering strangely. It stayed on the floor of my bedroom, moved toward the window with the curtains drawn, then for a brief moment touched the front of my pajama top and the edge of my skirt before quickly falling away.
Even though his gaze had only brushed past me for a moment, my neck grew hot as if his hands had touched me.
“……So, he said he would leave the day after tomorrow.”
Kagen repeated the conclusion as if trying to organize the situation.
“Do you have any special plans for tomorrow?”
I asked while fidgeting with my clasped hands resting on my stomach. The fact that he was not closing the awkward distance between us bothered me a great deal.
“I have no special plans. The Duchess of Schumann is also here, so His Highness said he would relax and rest for once after a long time. You should continue doing what you normally do.”
What did I normally do again? Eat, study, and rest?
But those were not really work. At least not the kind of thing that could be called the “duties” of a duchess.
When would I finally be able to do something that felt like real work?
Of course, complaining about such things to someone who was busy right now would only sound like I was whining.
“You must be tired too, but thank you for coming all the way here just to greet me. But……”
I stared at Kagen, who was standing stiffly like a subordinate who had come to report to his superior.
Why was he nervous? Even he was like this.
Why was he standing there smelling of sweet soap despite being dressed for going out late at night?
Why did he say he was going to his own room?
“……By any chance, the habit of maintaining cleanliness by washing yourself and changing clothes whenever you have a spare moment despite being so busy is really……”
Before I could finish, Kagen interrupted.
“You should listen to only half of what Mila says and ignore the other half.”
“But she is the maid I trust and rely on the most.”
“That is……”
Looking at his eyes, which seemed to have lost their words, I lightly bit my lip.
“She teaches me so many things.”
She makes me laugh too. Just like you admitted yourself.
“I think the person who recommended Mila as my maid must have had excellent judgment.”
Soon, a gentle smile appeared on Kagen’s face.
“If you think so, then I am glad.”
“I also trust the person who recommended a maid to me.”
His deepening gaze felt like it was poking at my conscience, but I still brought up the main point.
“But the person who came to visit me in the middle of the night with a body that smells sweetly of soap, while saying he would only say hello and leave… should I believe that too, ah!”
If this was the kind of trouble I had brought upon myself, then I welcomed it.
He suddenly pulled me close, and as if he wanted to stop me from saying unnecessary things, he held my head with both hands and pressed his lips against mine.
“I was not trying to lie to you. I intended to return quietly, but……”
He continued kissing me and hesitated as if reluctant to stop, and I had no desire to push him away either. I had become used to nights when the large man occupied my bed and slept beside me, and the guest room of the imperial palace visitors was far away.
In the darkness that fell like a soft veil, I saw starlight pouring down. Only then did I realize that I had not closed the curtains by the window, but I could not move even a finger and only breathed heavily.
They say that when a shooting star falls, something ominous happens.
But I was born at dawn on the day when shooting stars fell like rain over Elteia. And when I saw shooting stars in Tesena during the winter when I was seven, a wandering knight who had collapsed from hunger was found by my father, saved from death, and gave me a beautiful bracelet as a gift.
“The answer to every omen is within you.”
My mother told me not to fear uncertain things.
“You will be able to find it. You just have to reach out little by little, think about it, and figure things out step by step.”
She was never overly anxious about my learning and experiences, which were bound to be slower than those of other nobles. For me, who lived inside the small world called Tesena, within the fence of our happy family, learning only from my mother had been enough.
“The truths you absolutely need to know will surely come to you someday, so you do not need to rush. If you approach them with a generous heart, with love……”
Perhaps she knew that I would become happy.
No, perhaps she truly believed it.
“Luwan. You are a special child.”
She believed in me.
She believed that even in a world without her, I would surely find happiness.
“And every child in the world is special. Isn’t that right, Mother?”
I believed the words she told me. I believed in the future I would create from the endless love she gave me.
That was why, instead of fearing the sparkling stars pouring from the sky, I could find other happy meanings in them.
“See? You’re smart, aren’t you?”
And I carved her noble smile into my heart.
“……I wonder what little Kagen was like.”
I whispered while tracing his stiff face playfully with my index finger on his broad, warm chest.
“Even when I hear stories about your past from others, I can’t really imagine it. The fact that you had a childhood too.”
Even a man with such broad shoulders must have once been small and fragile.
Of course, he must have been a special boy. In terms of the environment he grew up in, his natural body and talents. In many ways, Kagen must have been an extraordinary child.
“Didn’t Mila already reveal more than enough about me? That I was not even a cute child when I was young.”
“I’m curious about when you were even younger. Before you were ten. When you were five, seven, when you were just a little kid.”
“You are curious about a time even I barely remember.”
He gently removed my hand as if it tickled him, then lightly held it so I could not move my fingers and placed it back on his chest.
“But later, when our baby is born. If we watch a child who looks like you being born and growing up, wouldn’t the answer reveal itself?”
Just as I resembled my mother’s childhood, if we had a son, perhaps that child would resemble Kagen’s childhood too.
The baby who had been abandoned in the monster forest and grown up without even knowing his parents had become a wonderful adult and now created a family of his own. And soon, he would become a father.
Kagen would become a happy father.
His child would not grow up lonely.
The child would be protected by the strong arms of a father who could defend even the entire world, and would learn from a mother who inherited great love and small wisdom from her parents. Later, the child would inherit everything from both mother and father and grow into a great and happy person.
“……Do you want to have a child soon?”
Just as I was becoming sleepy from the lazy touch of his hand stroking my hair, Kagen asked quietly.
“Hmm……”
That’s right. Just like my parents did, I want us to have a child together and raise them with care. It would be such a mysterious and overwhelming experience.
Of course, it would be even better if the first child was a strong-shouldered child like you, someone who would proudly carry the heavy responsibility of being the heir of Wayriver. But if that doesn’t happen, I hope you will give the second and third child a chance too. Because for the children’s own happiness and for Wayriver’s future as well……
“Just how many children are you planning to have?”
A small gust of air brushed over my head.
It seemed like he was laughing.
