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Chapter 4
“Nanny! Where did Howard go?”
“W-Well…”
Marie could only wear an awkward expression, unable to answer.
Carrying a gift box, Irina ran all over the mansion.
“I was supposed to be the first one to congratulate him.”
She ran around from early morning until she was completely out of breath, but Howard was nowhere to be found.
Only later did the head butler, who had heard all the commotion, come to comfort her.
“Howard is no longer in this house.”
“Why? Why isn’t he here?”
“He has returned to his real home.”
“His real home? Where is that? What do you mean? This is Howard’s home. The room next to mine.”
As if correcting the butler, Irina spoke slowly and clearly.
She had run so much that her cheeks were still bright red from exertion.
“You remember he came here during the winter? He’s gone back to where he came from.”
“Why? Why?”
The beautifully wrapped gift box slipped from her hands and fell helplessly to the floor.
Thud.
Irina’s clear amber eyes trembled before tears began streaming down her cheeks without stopping.
She collapsed onto the floor and burst into loud sobs.
“No! Bring Howard back! Bring him back!”
“Oh, my lady…”
The maid beside her wrapped her in a tight embrace and gently wiped away her tears.
A child’s grief lasted much longer than anyone expected.
Irina refused to eat for days, causing the servants no end of worry.
She threw tantrums over the smallest things and constantly demanded they bring Howard back.
One day, she gathered every dress and piece of jewelry she owned and carried them to her father.
She even brought the doll she treasured most—one she hugged to sleep every night—and the fluffy lamb’s wool blanket she had never once used.
“Can’t you bring Howard back with these?”
She looked ready to hand over even the dress she was wearing and the hairpin in her hair.
Count Cosat rubbed his forehead helplessly.
That wasn’t all.
Sometimes she would wake before dawn, crying as she searched for Howard.
But Howard never came back.
One season passed.
Then several years.
Irina busied herself more than usual that day.
It was both her sixteenth birthday and the day of her debutante ball.
“I’ll wear the red dress we had made before. Could you prepare it?”
The little girl with chubby cheeks had grown into a young lady whose beauty rivaled any noblewoman’s.
No—she would have stood out anywhere.
Her amber eyes, once as clear as molten gold dissolved in water, had become deeper and more enchanting.
Leather shoes suited her graceful feet, and fragrant tea suited her better than warm milk.
Her silky hair, grown over many years, flowed well past her waist.
She now preferred attending balls to climbing trees for fruit.
Instead of spending her days practicing painting, she visited museums and galleries to broaden her horizons.
She didn’t particularly enjoy it, but she believed these were things she ought to learn and never neglected them.
Elegant earrings adorned her ears, while a dazzling tiara rested upon her head.
“He should be here by now.”
The friend who had promised to escort her today was running late.
Just as she had finished putting on her shoes and drinking a cup of tea, her friend and partner for the evening finally arrived.
It was Roan, a young man with brown hair and a gentle appearance.
“Sorry. I kept you waiting.”
“You did. Come on, let’s go.”
“You look absolutely stunning today. As your partner, it’s truly an honor.”
Roan placed a hand dramatically over his heart and bowed.
“How ridiculous.”
Laughing, Irina playfully punched him on the shoulder.
Little by little, Howard’s place in Irina’s memories had begun to fade.
That was when…
Howard appeared once more.
“…”
No matter how young she had been…
And no matter how frail he had been…
There was no way she could fail to recognize the man who had grown so much taller than she remembered.
“…Howard?”
Without saying a word, he smiled faintly as he looked down at her.
Although he had always been three years older than her, he had once been so small that he had only needed to lower his gaze slightly to meet her eyes.
Now she had to look up just to see his face.
The gentle eyes that had once seemed ready to overflow with tears at the slightest touch now held the quiet confidence of an adult.
He was Howard…
Yet somehow he didn’t seem like Howard at all.
The absent-minded, painfully shy little boy had vanished without a trace.
And yet…
He was still Howard.
“It is you… isn’t it?”
Standing beside the suddenly frozen Irina, Roan looked between the two in confusion.
It was the first time he had ever seen her so shocked…
So flustered.
“You’re Howard.”
There wasn’t the slightest doubt in her mind.
He was the friend…
The servant…
Who had disappeared without a word all those years ago.
“It has been a long time, Lady Irina.”
Just as he had done when they were children, Howard bowed his head politely.
For a moment, tears threatened to spill from Irina’s eyes.
He had vanished without even saying goodbye…
And now he had returned, healthy and strong.
Irina took a step toward him.
She was angry with him.
Yet she was grateful.
Grateful that he had returned safely.
Grateful that the friend from her childhood memories was standing before her once again.
As she drew closer, she found herself tilting her head farther and farther back.
“You’ve grown so much. Your voice has changed, and you’re so tall now. You used to be tiny. You were always sick and catching colds. Do you know how hurt I was when you suddenly disappeared?”
Irina was already walking through her memories.
She still resented how he’d vanished without warning.
But seeing him healthy and well made her happier than anything.
“Who is he?”
Only then did Roan step closer and ask.
Irina briefly introduced Howard to him.
Roan’s eyes narrowed slightly.
Howard was even taller than he was.
He met people’s gazes without lowering his own, carrying himself with a confidence completely unfitting for a mere servant.
But what displeased Roan the most was Irina’s attitude.
Just moments ago, everything had been going perfectly.
Today was supposed to be the day he finally won Irina’s heart.
Now, however, he couldn’t hide his discomfort.
Still, since Irina insisted Howard accompany them, there was nothing he could do.
With a forced smile, Roan pretended to agree willingly.
Irina’s debutante was a great success.
But near the end of the ball, disaster nearly struck.
A massive chandelier hanging from the ceiling suddenly came crashing down directly above her.
Fortunately, Howard, who had been guarding her side, saved her just in time.
After that day, Howard followed Irina everywhere like her shadow.
Whenever she asked where he had been all those years, he simply changed the subject.
She didn’t press him.
Howard remained by her side as both her butler and bodyguard for about three months.
He arrived as one season changed…
And left again when the next season came.
During that short time, Howard accompanied her everywhere she went.
Little by little, the emptiness created by their years apart seemed to disappear.
Perhaps it was because she had grown up.
Or perhaps because he had.
Her feelings gradually began to change.
Around that time, her friends were all dating boys their own age.
Irina had no one.
Several men confessed to her, but none captured her heart.
She even politely declined Roan when he sincerely asked to court her.
Somehow…
If she were ever to be with someone naturally…
She felt it would be Howard.
Roan had once asked if it was because of “that guy.”
She hadn’t known how to answer.
She had simply felt that it was supposed to be that way.
If she had to choose someone…
It would probably be Howard.
If that was what people called first love…
Then yes.
Howard had been her first love.
To Irina…
He belonged to her.
If being a servant was the problem, then she would simply raise him to stand beside her as an equal.
For some reason, she had been absolutely certain Howard would agree.
But…
“Howard… I like you.”
When she finally gathered the courage to confess…
Howard said nothing.
Seeing how troubled he looked, she smiled and told him it was alright.
That he could take his time answering.
That even if he wanted to reject her, she only wanted him to tell her honestly.
After saying that, she returned to her room.
But then…
Again.
Without saying goodbye.
Without answering her confession.
Without even making the simple promise that they would meet again.
He disappeared.
Just like before.
The servants merely told her that he had returned to where he belonged.
After that, she had no time to grieve.
One shocking event followed another.
Her mother fell gravely ill.
Her condition worsened so quickly that there was no chance to save her.
She passed away.
Less than a year later, her father remarried.
After that…
Everything changed.
Whenever life became unbearable, Irina wished Howard were by her side.
But he never returned.
Eventually…
She forgot him.
Or at least she thought she had.
She had even believed the resentment had faded away.
Yet now that he stood before her again…
Apparently it hadn’t disappeared at all.
She suddenly had the overwhelming urge to pluck out every last one of his silver-gray hairs.
As memories of the past resurfaced, Irina’s lips twitched with barely restrained anger.
The confusion she’d felt moments earlier had long since vanished.
There was something her mother had secretly entrusted to Irina alone—a treasure she had said should only be used when it truly mattered.
It had become a keepsake after her mother’s death.
And Irina had believed the time had finally come to use it.
Ownership of the treasure could only be transferred through a high priest.
Unless the original owner formally relinquished ownership before one, anyone who stole it would possess nothing more than a beautiful stone.
It couldn’t be processed.
It couldn’t be used.
That made it safe to trade.
She knew that if she gave it to her father to pay off the family’s debts, it would simply disappear.
Instead, she intended to use it to bargain for her freedom and become someone with no ties to her family.
Howard remained where he stood, quietly watching her.
Seeing Irina glaring at him with eyes full of curses, the corners of his lips lifted briefly before returning to their usual calm expression.
“You don’t have to stare at me so passionately. I know you’re happy to see me.”
With that, he leisurely sat down in a nearby chair.
Happy to see him?
He actually said she was happy?
The corners of Irina’s eyes curved into what looked like a pleasant smile.
But the look in those eyes had grown far more dangerous.
“What exactly do you think you’re doing?”
