TMST 49

Chapter 49

At that astonishing statement, Karin froze where she stood. As if space and time had stopped, she could neither speak nor move.

Her breath caught in her throat, and her heart began pounding wildly.

‘He knows I like him? And he likes me too?’

Was this a dream or reality?

Iris’s prediction—that Arken might like her as well—had been exactly right.

Iris was the best. She took back every complaint she’d ever made about her being oblivious.

‘Does that mean today is officially Day One?’

The thought of finally going on proper dates with him sent her spirits soaring.

Where should they go? A picnic by the lakeside? Or perhaps ride in a carriage through town together?

Or maybe they could visit every restaurant they could find and conquer every shrimp dish on the menu.

Sweet fantasies filled her mind like helium balloons crowding a ceiling.

But the feeling lasted only a moment.

His voice sounded again from above.

“If I were told to choose between a shrimp cocktail and Your Ladyship, I would find it quite difficult.”

It wasn’t his usual composed voice.

There was a trace of amusement in it—a teasing tone.

Huh?

Karin, who had been on the verge of throwing her arms around him in delight, lowered them and placed her hands on her thighs instead, as though that had been her intention all along.

‘It wasn’t serious…? He was joking?’

Her mind went blank, as though she’d stuck her head inside a loudly ringing bell.

If he could joke about liking her, then what exactly did Arken think of her?

Certainly not someone he loved.

A close friend? A female friend he felt comfortable around?

Countless thoughts tangled together, each insisting it was the correct answer.

Karin was nearly swept away by the waves of her own thoughts when she noticed him standing quietly, waiting.

He was waiting for her response.

She forced her lips apart and barely managed a few words.

“What an honor. To be comparable to a shrimp cocktail…”

No.

Surely it wasn’t a joke.

Who jokes about liking someone?

Even close friends wouldn’t do that.

Saying you like someone wasn’t the sort of thing people tossed around lightly.

Right. She would test him one more time.

“Then what if someone offered to let you taste every kind of shrimp dish in existence? Would you ignore me and go eat shrimp instead?”

If he genuinely liked her, he would drop the teasing and answer honestly by now.

Karin waited anxiously for his response.

“Perhaps I would.”

Yet his voice was exactly the same as before.

The laughter slipping through it sounded positively cheerful.

Ah.

There was no doubt now.

It really had been a joke.

A disappointment too great for words surged through her like a receding tide and struck her whole body.

“I’d choose Arken even if someone offered me a hundred shrimp…”

“Pardon? What did you say?”

“Nothing.”

Karin hid her disappointment and pretended everything was fine.

Thank goodness the hallway was dark.

If he had seen the look on her face, things would have become considerably more complicated.

He began walking again, and Karin trudged after him.

‘I just got rejected, didn’t I?’

She had practically confessed to him.

And he had treated it like a joke as naturally as breathing.

Iris’s guess had been wrong.

Arken didn’t like her.

To him, she was simply a close friend.

A very close friend, close enough to joke about liking each other.

Her chest ached so badly it burned.

How long would she have to wait to win his heart?

Was it even possible in the first place?

‘What I wanted was a sweet romance, not endless waiting.’

“We’re here.”

Her thoughts stopped there.

Arken stepped through the darkness into a room and lit a lamp.

The room he stood in came into view, and Karin asked in surprise,

“You live here?”

“Yes. Is there a problem?”

The lamplight was faint, but more than enough to illuminate the tiny room.

It was so small that it felt only about a quarter the size of Karin’s own room.

The furnishings were limited to absolute necessities: a bed, a wardrobe, a desk, and a chest of drawers.

That was all.

There wasn’t even a window in the walls, making the room feel almost suffocatingly cramped.

In summary, it was only slightly better than the tiny boarding room she had once lived in as a student.

“You sleep here?”

“I only sleep here. I don’t eat here.”

“Ah. Right…”

Seeing how unconcerned Arken appeared made her chest ache.

He seemed perfectly accustomed to living in this room.

Lucas Duke, just you wait.

You wretched employer deserving divine punishment.

You make Arken live in a place like this? In a mansion this luxurious, how difficult would it be to give him a proper room?

While Karin trembled with indignation, Arken opened the wardrobe and handed her a set of clothes.

“I washed them.”

A pleasant scent of soap drifted from the shirt and trousers.

Karin buried her nose in them and inhaled deeply.

Then, noticing Arken staring at her, she quickly raised her head.

“I just liked the smell of the soap.”

Feeling embarrassed, she pretended to look around the room.

Then she noticed a strange object sitting on the desk.

It looked like some sort of experimental apparatus a mad scientist might own.

“What’s this?”

“That…? It’s no longer useful.”

I see.

She didn’t know what it was, but apparently it had served its purpose.

Karin dismissed it without much thought.

Various documents and belongings were neatly arranged on the desk.

Not the slightest trace of disorder could be found.

“You’re really organized… Huh?”

While admiring his tidiness, Karin spotted a small box tucked away in one corner of the desk.

It was the box she had used when she gifted him the tie pin.

“You still haven’t thrown this away?”

She opened the box and looked inside.

The purple velvet cushion and fastening pin were still there.

“You must have liked the box. Judging by how you keep it on your desk.”

Karin closed the lid and returned it to its place.

Now that she looked more closely, it sat in the most visible spot from where he sat at the desk.

‘Things like this make it seem like he likes me too.’

Yet what he had said earlier had undeniably been a joke.

Who jokes about liking the person they’re secretly in love with?

Especially while laughing so casually.

Once again, her heart ached.

“I thought it might be useful someday, so I kept it.”

I see.

Karin once more accepted the explanation without much thought.

“Could you tell me where the Duke’s room is?”

Normally she would have dragged things out just to spend more time with him.

But she wasn’t in the mood now.

The realization that she was nothing more than a “close friend” to Arken had dealt Karin a considerable blow.

And she still hadn’t recovered from it.

To be more honest, although it sounded rather pitiful, she wanted to be alone.

“If you just tell me where it is, I’ll go by myself.”

“I’ll accompany you.”

He stopped her as she prepared to leave.

“You don’t have to. It’s late. You should rest.”

“No. It’s dark.”

“What do you take me for? I can go by myself. I more or less memorized the layout of the mansion already.”

That was true.

After getting lost earlier, she had formed a rough map of the mansion in her head.

“I’m going alone. Just tell me where it is.”

“Ah… Very well.”

When Karin remained firm, he stepped back and gave her directions to the Duke’s room.

Fortunately, it wasn’t far away.

Now that she knew the way, there was nothing else she needed.

“Thank you. I’ll be going now.”

“I hope we meet again.”

“Good night.”

With those words, Karin left the room and walked down the corridor.

As she breathed in the cool air, her mind cleared, and the reality of her situation finally sank in.

After everything she’d gone through, all she’d gained was the title of close friend.

‘But I made it so obvious that I like him!’

What exactly did Arken think all those times she’d linked arms with him and hugged him?

Did he think,

“Close friends can do that.”

Maybe, in his mind, anything short of kissing was acceptable between close friends.

‘Then can I keep hugging him every time we meet?’

If that was his standard for friendship, then from now on she intended to replace greetings with hugs.

Karin fully intended to exploit this newly discovered information.

‘What other things can close friends do together?’

Then she realized something else.

Being close friends with him wasn’t entirely bad.

Close friends could rely on each other during difficult times.

They could laugh together and go places together.

Thinking about it, the picnic, the carriage ride, and even the shrimp-food challenge she’d imagined earlier were all things friends could do.

‘Aha… Then I’ll just do everything I want under the excuse of being close friends.’

Whether he would ever come to like her was impossible to know.

But as close friends, they could still share a large part of their lives together.

…Traveling to the southern islands together might be difficult.

No.

Friends traveled together too.

Maybe not a honeymoon, but they could certainly spend vacations together.

When she thought about it that way, being close friends wasn’t so bad.

It was fine.

She could be satisfied with that.

She wasn’t sad at all.

…Then why did one corner of her heart feel so painfully cold?

Probably because of the night air.

Yet even after pulling her collar tighter and curling herself up, the chill wouldn’t leave.

It seemed the coldness in her heart came from another cause entirely.

After Karin left, Arken opened the wardrobe once more.

An empty space was visible on one side.

The place where the shirt and trousers had been.

He remembered perfectly the moment the young lady had given him those clothes.

The sensation of wet fabric against his skin, the subtle tremble of the air, and the bright sound of her cheerful voice.

The same was true of what had happened just now.

He would remember today’s events until the day he died.

“Do you know who I like…?”

He had wanted to wait for his own name to leave her lips.

Given the circumstances, it was almost certain that it would have.

But he couldn’t.

‘Do you know who I like…? I like Arken!’

The moment he heard those words, he would have lost control.

Perhaps he would have pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

But if he had—

He would have seen the startled expression on her face.

“I was only joking. Were you serious, Arken?”

She would have looked at him with surprise and embarrassment.

Perhaps even a trace of pity.

And after that, she would never smile at him again.

She would no longer greet him with that bright smile.

No longer hug him as though it were the most natural thing in the world.

No longer ask him ridiculous questions.

She would withdraw every bit of attention she had ever given him.

Perhaps she would even openly show her boredom and disappointment.

The noble young lady’s brief moment of rebellion would end there.

And so would he.

That was the fate of a fool who mistook an illusion for reality.

Therefore, his choice had been the correct one.

Rather than risk never seeing her smile again, it had been wiser to change the subject with words he didn’t truly mean.

As he moved to close the wardrobe, his legs suddenly gave out.

Just before collapsing, he caught himself against the wall.

Barely maintaining his balance, he lowered his head and closed his eyes, as though trying to forget everything.

He would never know.

Never know the wonder of holding her in his arms.

Never know the melting softness of kissing her lips.

Never know the overwhelming joy of whispering I love you into her ear.

He would walk beside her and smile with her.

Yet inside, he would constantly fear the day she abandoned him.

A single careless remark from her would send him soaring to heaven or plunging into hell.

Even if she toyed with him, he would remain unable to leave her side, circling her endlessly like a moth drawn to a flame.

It was a bottomless mire with no visible end.

And he fully acknowledged that he had sunk into it beyond escape.

He had no regrets.

He had chosen this path knowingly.

Nor would he regret it in the future.

No matter what she said.

No matter what she did.

No matter how she treated him.

He belonged to her.

That was an eternal truth he could swear upon the little life he had left, a truth that would never change.