TMLOP 86

Chapter 86

Each Other’s Memories About Each Other

In truth, there was nothing bad for Senelia in receiving the Afron mansion.

And yet, she could not help but worry about what would come after.

From the beginning, Senelia was not someone who craved power.

If not for Cliff, she would have simply governed the Daphne estate and lived an ordinary life with an ordinary man.

But Cliff had completely crushed that version of her.

It was only natural that she no longer desired things beyond her station—indeed, that she even shunned them.

For six years, by Benelucia’s side, she had constantly heard whispers in society that she did not “know her place.”

If, the moment she became engaged to the Grand Duke, rumors spread that she had swallowed his mansion whole, people might say Daphne was selling their daughter for profit.

“…‘Out of your place’? Why would you say such a thing?”

Benelucia barely restrained his expression from hardening.

If he looked displeased, Senelia would shrink again, watching his face nervously.

Patience was an alien thing to him.

But because of her, Benelucia was constantly forced to endure.

It frustrated him, but it was still better than making her clamp her mouth shut again.

It was far harder to make her speak than to silence her.

And when he watched her closely, he always learned something he hadn’t known before.

“If it’s gossip you’re worried about, I’ll take care of it.”

Benelucia murmured softly, as if telling her she needn’t worry about anything.

“No one will know—it’ll just be in your name.”

Just the name.

Even as he handed over the entire mansion, Benelucia worked desperately to make it seem like nothing.

It made him look like a man begging Senelia to accept his mansion, but he didn’t care.

He would only be satisfied if the mansion ended up in her hands.

To be honest, Benelucia thought it was better if she drove him out than if she left.

Then the knights of Afron would protect her, and she would remain safe under his influence.

To Benelucia, giving her the mansion in exchange for being able to easily know where she was—that was a deal worth making.

Of course, Aranthe was currently calling his superior insane, but Benelucia didn’t care.

No matter how much he tried to persuade her, Senelia’s face did not brighten.

“Or… do you think this mansion isn’t enough for you?”

The only estate grander and more precious than Afron was the Imperial Palace itself.

“Your Highness, of course not…!”

Naturally, Senelia panicked.

Seizing the moment, Benelucia cut her off.

“It’s my wedding gift to you.”

He knew it was excessive as a wedding gift.

Truthfully, he never really knew what was “too much” when it came to giving her things—but he knew that she would think so.

“So cherish it.”

Benelucia’s voice was endlessly cautious.

The man who was always so confident now sounded almost afraid she might refuse him.

Truly, receiving Afron Mansion was absurd.

And yet Senelia hesitated.

“Like before—don’t abandon everything and leave.”

And that hesitation became his chance.

Like a fox, he watched her carefully, wondering if this would keep her from rejecting him.

“When did I ever…”

Before Senelia could properly refute, Benelucia interrupted again.

“My gifts—no matter how much you tried to leave me, I never thought you’d just throw them all away and go.”

At that, Senelia realized what he meant by “throwing everything away.”

“Especially the Dawn of Beginning—I barely managed to get it at an auction that only opens at dawn…”

“Wait—don’t tell me…”

Startled, Senelia cut him off.

It sounded like he was saying he had personally bought her presents all along.

“Don’t tell me… all the gifts you gave me—you went and bought them yourself, Your Grace?”

Her eyes widened.

Until now, she had always thought his subordinates prepared the gifts.

After all, at some point he had started delivering them through others.

Even in the novel, the only gifts he personally chose were for Lucalina.

So it was only natural for Senelia to believe that.

“…Then who did you think got them?”

In truth, Benelucia had never once entrusted her gifts to someone else.

“You never liked the things the shopkeepers or jewelers recommended.”

“…You knew that?”

Her eyes shook with surprise.

The recommendations from madams were always things that suited Lucalina more.

Other lovers of Benelucia had gladly received such treasures, but Senelia—knowing the story—could only recognize the difference.

How could she possibly like gifts chosen that way?

“Sel, when you went out rarely but with excitement, only to return suddenly subdued—how could I not notice?”

From the very first time he met her, Senelia had been far calmer than others her age.

Impossible to read, impossible not to keep watching.

The more he observed, the more he came to understand her.

And though she herself didn’t realize, when she had been younger, her expressions had been far richer.

As her life drained away, she lost even the strength to show such small emotions.

Still, when they had first become lovers, she had retained some of the awkwardness and immaturity of a 21-year-old.

So it was only natural that a man as experienced as he was would notice the feelings she hid.

That was why he had gradually stopped taking her to jewelers and boutiques.

Because she didn’t enjoy it.

Not, as she believed, because he found even such little things bothersome.

“…I thought… you wouldn’t know.”

Their arrangement was never to act like they loved each other.

So when she prepared something for his birthday, she always went out alone.

And sometimes, on those days, she remembered.

Their rare outings together.

And she thought—she mustn’t trouble him.

She had often seen him in the capital with previous lovers, going on dates.

If she ever acted like those women who always demanded from him, she could never be someone special to him.

So in the end, she never once asked him to go out together.

For Senelia, it wasn’t the gifts he gave her, but the little dates they shared, that remained the more precious memories.

But, as she had for eight years, she always yearned, then gave up.

That yearning, that resignation—both had been born of her misunderstanding.

“…Then why didn’t you give the gifts yourself? You always had someone else bring them.”

She lowered her head, covering her face with her hands, her voice heavy with exhaustion.

Too many emotions had swept through her at once.

She didn’t know what expression to make.

Should she apologize for misunderstanding him, or be angry that he had never corrected her?

She couldn’t define her feelings, and her expression twisted strangely.

She couldn’t let him see it.

“…That’s because.”

Benelucia trailed off.

But since her mood was clearly not good, and it had been so long since she had asked him anything—he had no choice but to answer.

“Because you never once came to find me.”

Unable to meet her eyes, he spoke.

And with that, Senelia’s guilt was blown far away.

Every birthday, she had bought something for him herself.

But she had only once tried to give it to him directly.

‘Your Highness, I have something to give you…’
‘Leave it there and go.’

Unfortunately, Benelucia and Lucalina shared the same birthday.

And on that very first birthday she prepared for him—he didn’t even look back at her.

It was less than a month after they had become lovers.

Even if they had agreed to expect nothing from each other—she hadn’t even the right to celebrate his birthday.

That memory was so strong that afterward, she decided she must not let herself be seen on his birthday.

Ah… and you don’t even remember that.

Her insides twisted violently.

She knew, of course, that it was natural for their memories of each other to differ.

But she could not bear it.

“…Get out.”

“…Sel?”

“I said get out!”

And so, in the end, Senelia drove Benelucia into another room.

Undoubtedly, this too was the very first time such a thing had ever happened between them.