TMLOP 35

  Chapter 35
It’s Okay If You Don’t Love Me

Just as he had said, the love letters coming to Senelia dwindled day by day.

She had assumed it was simply because she was reaching the end of her marriageable age.

But she was wrong. It was because Benerucia hadn’t left alone anyone who dared send a love letter to his lover.

“I saw a strange letter came to Selly.”

There was no need for him to give direct orders. It was enough for Benerucia to casually mutter this to his subordinates.

After all, these were the subordinates of a Grand Duke. It was only natural that their retaliation remained unnoticed.

At the time, Senelia had thought Benerucia was foolishly unaware of his own feelings, punishing those who hurt his pride by sending letters to his lover despite his presence.

“Selly, I was curious if you’d reject them or not. You don’t tell me you love me, so I had to confirm it that way.”

That was the only reason Benerucia allowed love letters to reach her.

Back then, she didn’t understand. But now, she knew why he had acted that way.

“You’re saying you tested me again?”

Senelia frowned deeply.

It was already enough having the emperor test her.

She loathed being tested.

But even at her reaction, Benerucia didn’t move away from her in the slightest.

“Because I had to know whether you love me.”

From his own words, Benerucia finally recognized that he had longed for Senelia’s love for a very long time. Because he believed that if someone had no heart for him, he shouldn’t hold onto them.

Really? Was he truly that kind of person?

“But now it doesn’t matter. I was never that ethical of a man to begin with.”

No, he could be that kind of person.

If he waited and waited and Senelia eventually became his, then Benerucia could do it.

But if it meant letting her go, then he would gladly become someone worse.

If it meant holding her in his arms, Benerucia could cut off Yennelof’s head or crush the Pendragon family entirely.

He just didn’t think there was any need for her to know how low he’d stoop.

“I’m the only one who can touch you, the only one who can desire you.”

The begging was over.

“You don’t have to love me. Just endure me.”

Benerucia would no longer try to win her love. He would do whatever it took to have her.

The next day, even as she welcomed mourners again, Senelia’s mind was elsewhere.

It was all because of what Benerucia had said the night before.

In this world’s original novel, it had been a dark and twisted story.

Clifford had used every trick to make Rukalina his. It was only because of that that Benerucia had finally snapped.

Compared to Clifford, who committed evil and was unashamedly obsessed, Benerucia had always been gentle toward Rukalina. That’s why she had forgotten—

That Benerucia was someone who once let a war happen because he refused to give up on love.

“You don’t have to love me. Just endure me.”

Senelia had realized then just how deep Benerucia’s obsession ran.

She let out a bitter sigh.

From the moment she got entangled with the brothers, Benerucia and Clifford, there was no way out for her.

And she had only now truly realized it.

Senelia glanced toward Yennelof.

For some reason, despite being rejected and the emperor’s presence being known, he hadn’t returned.

If that was the case, she had no choice but to use him.

Senelia made up her mind and approached Yennelof while Benerucia was away.

“What is it you wish to tell me?”

As she led him somewhere secluded, Yennelof asked with a puzzled expression.

“I know you approached me under His Majesty’s orders.”

Senelia spoke calmly.

When Clifford visited her room the night before, she was certain. Her rejection of Yennelof had surely reached Clifford’s ears through him.

The emperor made a mockery of Senelia.

He had likely visited her that night to speak about what happened with Yennelof.

Clifford never felt the need to hide that he tested her—after all, she was like a pet dog to him.

If anything, he might even praise her openly for passing his test, like rewarding a dog for retrieving a ball.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

Yennelof feigned ignorance, but Senelia wasn’t fooled.

Compared to Benerucia and Clifford, whom she’d dealt with for eight years, Yennelof was nothing.

And guilt? There would be none.

He had surely received some kind of reward for approaching her under Clifford’s orders.

“If I run to the Grand Duke now and tell him you approached me under His Majesty’s orders and tried to come between us, it will make for quite the spectacle.”

Of course, Senelia had never intended to do that.

If she made Benerucia turn against her, Clifford would never let her go.

“His Majesty won’t stay quiet about it.”

Yennelof knew Clifford’s nature—at least a little.

“Are you sure? What if I beat you to it and tell His Majesty first what you just said?”

But he couldn’t know Clifford as well as Senelia did. So her words shook him.

“You failed His Majesty’s command to seduce me, while I haven’t failed once. I’ve even shown good results. Who do you think His Majesty would side with?”

Even in Benerucia’s presence, where others would shrink, Yennelof had stood proud—yet now he fell silent.

Senelia’s composed voice felt too factual, leaving no room for rebuttal.

“…What do you want from me?”

After a long silence, Yennelof asked.

Now that he had failed his mission, the emperor would no longer protect him.

If Senelia told Benerucia what Yennelof had done, he’d be ruined.

And Senelia, knowing this, intended to use it against him.

Otherwise, why bring up such an unpleasant thing?

“Go now and tell the Grand Duke that I rejected your proposal.”

“…Not to provoke his jealousy?”

Yennelof looked at her with surprise.

He had thought she would use him to draw an even bigger reaction from Benerucia.

“How many people have already tried that with His Grace?”

Senelia answered calmly.

From former lovers to those he barely glanced at, everyone had tried anything to catch Benerucia’s eye.

Senelia had to be different. She had to be special—just as Rukalina had been to Benerucia.

“And say that I did it because I’m in love with someone else.”

Yennelof’s gaze narrowed slightly. He soon realized the nuance of her words.

Even if she had caught onto his plan, Yennelof was still someone the emperor had handpicked.

“The person I want… there’s only one.”

‘Want’ and ‘love’ may sound similar, but they carry different meanings.

Since Yennelof knew she was following the emperor’s orders, it wasn’t hard for him to catch the nuance.

He just had to play dumb and deliver her message to Benerucia.

Since the two words sounded similar, even if he phrased it differently, he’d have an excuse—and Benerucia might mistake her supposed “love” as being for him.

Senelia was feeding Benerucia a hopeful illusion—empty inside, but dazzling on the surface.

So that he would never be able to give her up.

“That way, neither you nor I would be punished by His Majesty.”

Even if Senelia was following the emperor’s orders, manipulating one of his men could be seen as crossing the line.

That could provoke Clifford’s anger.

But if she did as she said, that wouldn’t happen—because all she asked was for him to report the truth.

“…If that’s all, you could have just asked nicely.”

Yennelof said sourly. Logically, there was nothing difficult about it.

In fact, it might even be a blessing for him.

He had already failed the emperor’s command and earned Benerucia’s hatred—nothing good would come of staying entangled.

“No, because you didn’t even want to speak to me, remember?”

Yennelof flinched. She was right. He’d been avoiding her until just now.

Because he knew Clifford had no intention of protecting him from Benerucia’s wrath.

And he didn’t want to dig a deeper hole by staying close to Senelia.

“Besides, you didn’t expect things to turn out like this, did you? In your current state, you’d never have come up with this plan on your own.”

Yennelof’s face turned bright red.