TMLOP 18

Chapter 18

14. I Said I Don’t Love You

Just like yesterday and again today, acting this way back-to-back—it was impossible for Lucalina not to notice that Benerucia was avoiding her.

“It’s not that…”

“If it’s not, then talk to me. I have something I must say to you.”

Lucalina firmly cut Benerucia off. Her attitude made it clear—she wasn’t willing to hear excuses.

In front of her, he couldn’t say anything else.

He owed her a debt, and that made him the weaker one.

“Head maid, bring tea to my private parlor.”

In the end, Benerucia swallowed a sigh and gave the order.

Once the maid brought tea and left them alone, Lucalina spoke first.

“Ben, if you’re avoiding me because of His Majesty, I hope you’ll stop.”

She seemed to believe that Benerucia was distancing himself because of Cliff.

That only made Benerucia’s heart heavier.

But before he could say anything, Lucalina continued.

“I didn’t spend 11 years on a distant battlefield for nothing.”

And what she said next was something Benerucia hadn’t expected at all.

“I used that time to gain the power to stand against His Majesty.”

“…What?”

Shock crossed Benerucia’s face.

In the region where Lucalina had been deployed, war had dragged on endlessly.

Whenever it seemed like the conflict would end, something new would erupt, leaving the war unresolved for 11 long years.

As if someone had intentionally planned it that way.

Benerucia had always thought it was Cliff’s doing—but clearly, he had been wrong.

“Do you think I would’ve been stuck in that remote place for 11 years just because the war was long?”

Lucalina’s expression was full of confidence.

All the effort that Marquis Elian made to bring his daughter back had been a facade—meant only to be seen by the emperor.

Only now could Benerucia understand why the Marquis didn’t seem to hate him all that much.

Lucalina and the Marquis had been patient all along.

Even if Cliff had assigned people to monitor Lucalina, those spies would’ve eventually let their guard down.

Time dulls everything.

Switching spies wouldn’t have changed much either.

After all, the person they were watching—Lucalina—was repeating the same mundane routine for 11 years without any noticeable deviation.

And Cliff, busy as the emperor, couldn’t have monitored her personally.

So in the end, it was a victory born from sheer patience.

“That’s why, Ben, you don’t have to live under His Majesty’s thumb anymore.”

Lucalina continued calmly.

Benerucia realized then that she had been preparing for this moment for a long time.

“When the army returns, they’ll be on our side.”

Privately recruiting soldiers and building a personal army without the emperor’s permission was an act of treason.

However, the knights returning now were ones Cliff himself had sent to that region.

The Marquis’s family hadn’t openly raised troops with rebellious intent, and the soldiers were merely fond of Lucalina.

Cliff may have been a tyrant to the nobles, but to the common people, he was a just and wise ruler.

The people supported him, and the only heir left to the throne—Benerucia—was firmly in his grasp.

Under such circumstances, the nobles had no real power to act.

But if Cliff were to disband the returning army without good reason—after 11 years of hardship—without even treating them properly?

That would undoubtedly stain the emperor’s reputation.

Lucalina was aiming for that very weak spot.

“So, Ben…”

Lucalina took a deep breath.

“Let’s get married.”

As if everything she had said until now had been leading to that one final sentence.

“Let’s get married someday.”

That had been the promise between Benerucia and Lucalina.

When Cliff and Benerucia’s mother were still alive, their status as legitimate heirs through the Empress was firmly established.

It was a time before their father took a new empress, when they were just innocent children.

Looking back, those days felt like nothing but a dream.

And during that time, a young boy and girl had hooked their pinkies and made a promise.

Benerucia had never forgotten that promise.

But… now, he couldn’t keep it anymore.

“…Luna.”

After a brief silence, Benerucia spoke in a heavy voice.

He realized he couldn’t keep hiding his feelings.

“…I’m sorry.”

He spoke like a man condemned.

“I don’t love you.”

As soon as he said those words, he realized once again where his heart truly lay.

He had turned his back on Senelia in a moment of stubbornness… but in the end, he loved her.

He could no longer love Lucalina the way he once did.

He was far more in love with Senelia than he had thought.

“I’m sorry, Luna. I… love someone else.”

Benerucia’s voice was firm. Since he had chosen to admit his guilt, he could no longer hesitate.

To give Lucalina false hope would be deceitful.

And at the very least, he knew he owed her better than that.

“That’s ridiculous.”

But even Benerucia hadn’t expected Lucalina’s immediate and firm denial.

In fact, she sounded even more resolute than he had moments ago.

“Ben, are you saying you don’t love me? Do you think I’ll believe that?”

Her tone wasn’t desperate or delusional—she spoke with absolute certainty.

She firmly believed Benerucia loved her.

At that moment, Benerucia felt something strange.

Lucalina acted like she knew his heart better than he did. It didn’t feel like the Lucalina he once knew.

“Luna, why do you think I’m lying?”

He asked without thinking, his frustration slipping out.

But Lucalina tried again to persuade him.

“I know you’ve waited for me all these years. I know you met noblewomen from lesser houses only to stay off His Majesty’s radar.”

Benerucia clamped his mouth shut.

She wasn’t wrong.

He had waited 11 years, and to hide his feelings, he had dated women from inconsequential noble houses—ones Cliff wouldn’t find threatening.

That’s also why he’d never stopped dating.

He had no intention of marrying anyone else. So he acted like someone uninterested in marriage—playing the part of a serial dater.

Before Senelia, he went through 1 to 3 girlfriends a month. That’s why he had a reputation as a notorious playboy.

Lucalina was right—but something still felt off.

She had left for war 11 years ago. He had returned to the capital 10 years ago.

So how could she speak like someone who had watched him from up close all that time?

“Luna… how do you know all this?”

He asked before he could stop himself.

It was too strange—he couldn’t shake the suspicion.

“I just know you. You’re not the kind of person to abandon me. Or your brother.”

But Lucalina’s answer was far too smooth.

To Benerucia, it felt like even that reply had been prepared in advance, as if she’d expected this question.

Of course, her words were true again.

When the first Empress died and the second one took her place, the palace was filled with numerous consorts.

Their children, along with those of the second Empress, overflowed the royal family.

If Cliff hadn’t ruthlessly cut them all down, he and Benerucia would’ve been the ones to fall by the blade.

Cliff suffered countless humiliations on the way to the throne.

For someone born with the title of Crown Prince, it must have been unbearable.

As their father’s affections shifted from one woman to the next, he never protected his sons.

In the end, he even pressured their maternal family to welcome a new empress.

Benerucia and Cliff endured all of that together.

Even though Cliff was a half-brother, he spared Benerucia—though he killed every other royal.

Likewise, Benerucia could never betray his brother.

But he wasn’t the kind of man who would abandon Lucalina, who had gone to war on his behalf.

So as Lucalina said, the best he could do was stay out of her life.

Even if it meant crushing the heart of a boy who once longed for his first love.

So none of Lucalina’s words were wrong, and yet Benerucia couldn’t shake the eerie feeling.

“…Sixteen years apart is a long time, I guess.”

Benerucia had gone to war at 15. Now he was 31.

Sixteen years had passed since he last saw Lucalina.

The woman before him no longer felt like the Lucalina he once knew. It felt like facing a stranger.

He forced himself to blame it on time.

“…If this were before, you’d be right, Luna.”

He finally gave her a serious reply.

He hadn’t wanted to say this to her.

But unless he did, she might never accept that his heart had changed.

“…I’m sorry. My heart has changed.”

His voice was heavy, like a sinner confessing his guilt.

“I… don’t love you. I love Senelia.”