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Chapter 28
But even now, no matter how hard I try to recall it, I still can’t clearly remember whether Ian actually kissed my cheek back then or not.
The fireworks that unfolded in front of a six-year-old child looked like something unreal. Because of that, I couldn’t quite keep my senses together while watching them, and my memory of what happened around that time is hazy.
“Goodness, young Lady Beth!”
While I was watching the fireworks with Ian, Mrs. Weber pushed her way through the crowd and ran toward us. Since the fireworks were already nearing their end, I was taken back to Whitington Manor in Mrs. Weber’s arms. Up to this point, it all feels like a dream, but I’m fairly sure it really happened.
One thing I do remember clearly is that when I looked in the mirror the next morning, my lips and tongue had returned to their original red color. I remember feeling relieved that they were no longer blue.
Of course, I know now that the coloring from the candy simply wore off over time, but back then I was certain some kind of magic had been at work.
Something like… a prince’s kiss.
“Ian!”
Once I realized my lips weren’t blue anymore, I immediately went looking for Ian in excitement.
“Look, Ian! They’re not blue!”
The moment I found him, I proudly pointed at my lips.
“They’re red again!”
“Good for you, my lady.”
Ian smiled faintly at me. I spun around him, hopping like a frog.
“That man was right! Ian really is a prince!”
I don’t remember exactly how Ian responded to that. Maybe he didn’t respond at all. But I do remember that he gave me a gentle smile.
I was only six years old then, so I didn’t understand it at the time, but later I realized that smile contained a hint of loneliness.
As Ian grew older, he became confident to the point of being a bit cheeky, but once in a while he would still show that kind of lonely smile.
When Ian was fourteen and I was twelve, something important happened to him. Dr. Carson, a close friend of my grandfather, suggested taking Ian to a distant city to educate him. He intended to support his studies for about ten to fifteen years.
Dr. Carson, who had always thought highly of Ian, persuaded my grandfather that it would be a waste to leave a child with such potential here. My grandfather agreed, thinking it would be a good opportunity for Ian.
But in the end, it never happened. Ian himself refused.
“Ian, weren’t you going to go to that school far away?”
When I asked him that back then, Ian just shrugged as if it were nothing.
“You know I don’t like studying, my lady.”
“But Grandpa said it’s a rare opportunity. He said it would be a waste to pass it up.”
“I’m always grateful for how much the Count cares about me.”
Ian spoke in a low, subdued voice.
I was twelve then, still a child. So I didn’t fully understand his feelings and just sat there swinging my legs happily.
“But you know what? I’m glad Ian isn’t going far away. I think I’d be bored if you weren’t at the manor.”
At that moment, Ian wore that expression again—that lonely smile he sometimes showed.
“…I see, my lady.”
Ian continued quietly.
“I don’t want to be far away from you either.”
“Right? You feel the same, don’t you? Good! Then let’s go catch frogs later! Ian, you’re not allowed to go far away without me from now on!”
“I won’t.”
Ian replied.
“…I promise, my lady.”
And as time passed, when I turned eighteen and entered university, Ian said to me:
“It seems the manor will be lonely without the young lady.”
“What’s that supposed to mean, Ian? Try making that face like you’re actually relieved and it won’t work on me!”
“That’s not entirely untrue. I’ll miss you. Though I did enjoy taking your allowance from you all this time. So even at university, please don’t grow up too much. I need you to still make mistakes sometimes, so I can take advantage of them.”
“What kind of servant dares to openly admit they’re exploiting their master like that?”
As I grumbled, Ian simply smiled in response. It was that same lonely smile again, completely out of place amid his usual teasing tone.
After entering university, I suffered a brief bout of homesickness. It was only natural—I had never stayed outside the manor until then.
At night, sitting alone in a quiet room, all kinds of thoughts swirled in my head. The ones that came up most often were my grandfather crying, “Don’t forget this old man!” and Ian’s faintly lonely smile.
Bang! Bang-bang-bang!
The loud sound of fireworks snapped me back to reality. In the dim night, every explosion lit up the surroundings.
Ian’s face beside me flickered between light and shadow. I felt a little uneasy remembering the expression he had shown earlier, but by now he had already returned to his usual self, so I said nothing.
BOOM!
With a huge explosion, a long, winding red firework spread across the sky.
“What is that? That’s unusual. It looks like a snake.”
“It seems to be fireworks imported from abroad.”
“But why a snake of all things?”
As I squinted up at the sky and complained, Ian chuckled softly beside me.
“My lady, that isn’t a snake. It’s probably a dragon.”
“A dragon? What’s that?”
“I’ve read about it. It’s a water deity from Eastern legends. It looks somewhat like a snake, but it’s much larger and has a beard.”
“You really know all sorts of things, Ian.”
“It’s never a bad thing to acquire knowledge. You never know when it might come in handy.”
“So, how did you use your knowledge about dragons?”
“I’m using it right now—to sound smart in front of you, my lady.”
“Honestly, Ian…”
We ended up laughing.
We stood in silence for a while, looking up at the night sky. The fireworks were almost over now, with only a few small bursts left.
“My lady, according to Eastern legend,” Ian suddenly said, still looking at the sky,
“a dragon was originally a fish. An ordinary, insignificant fish. If that fish manages to swim upstream against a waterfall, it transforms into a dragon, a god who controls water.”
“A fish becomes a god? And it has to climb a waterfall? That’s amazing.”
I also looked up at the sky.
“That’s kind of a hopeful story. Even if you’re insignificant now, you can become great through effort.”
“Or perhaps it means the opposite.”
Ian said quietly.
“A small fish would never actually be able to climb a waterfall. Even if it somehow reached near the top, it would just be swept away and die.”
“Maybe that’s what the legend is really trying to say. Know your place. No matter how hard you try, there are things you simply can’t surpass.”
“What nonsense are you talking about, Ian…”
I tried to laugh it off, but Ian’s expression looked strangely serious, and I couldn’t.
“Ian.”
Trying to change the mood, I spoke again.
“Do you remember the first time we saw fireworks at the festival when we were kids?”
“Of course. My memory is far better than yours, my lady.”
“You didn’t need to add that last part.”
“You got separated from Mrs. Weber and cried your eyes out. Everyone was distracted by the fireworks anyway.”
Maybe Ian had been thinking about the same memory when the fireworks started earlier.
“We’ve watched fireworks a few times since then.”
“You always complained they weren’t as good as when you were a child.”
“Well, those huge fireworks don’t happen often. And I was too young to really enjoy them properly. I hope we get another chance someday. A big festival near Whitington Manor, with fireworks bigger than anything we’ve ever seen. Let’s go together like when we were kids, Ian.”
I expected him to immediately respond with a joke. But Ian didn’t answer.
He, who had been looking at the sky, turned his face toward me. And silently, he just stared at me.
Because Ian wasn’t joking, I tried to tease him instead. But the moment I met his eyes—those jet-black pupils the same color as his hair—my voice wouldn’t come out.
It felt like my mind was going blank, just like when I first saw fireworks at six years old.
“What’s wrong? Why can’t I say anything… Ian, why aren’t you saying anything?”
At that moment, Ian suddenly turned away sharply. That broke the spell, and I snapped back to my senses.
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
A bright voice cut through the night air.
“I didn’t mean to startle you. Were you having an important conversation?”
The window of the next room was open. Eugenia had come out onto the balcony from the neighboring room at some point, watching Ian and me with an amused expression.
