THWCS 30

Chapter 30

If this were in Hanseongbu, such behavior between a man and a woman—people making a fuss about propriety and keeping distance between the sexes—would never be tolerated. But so what?

If she wanted to preserve this single life of hers, she had no choice but to marry Yisin.

The reason she had scrubbed and cleaned Yeongyeongdang so thoroughly today that her whole body felt worn to rags was precisely to try to change Yisin’s resolve—his determination not to marry even if it meant his death.

As expected, when Yisin showed no intention of accepting, Yeongwon placed the peeled potato into the basket and began peeling another.

It was for herself.

This time, she was able to peel it a little faster.

As she peeled, the earthy, savory smell rising from the potato stirred Yeongwon’s hunger.

She brought it straight to her mouth and began chewing.

“Miss….”

Seeing her eat, Sorae must have grown hungry as well; she finally peeled the potato in her hand and started eating it too.

Watching the mistress and servant sitting side by side, peeling and eating potatoes, Yisin was at a complete loss for words.

When he dug his heels in like this, Yeongwon usually said a few things on her own and then left. That had always been the case—until now.

But this time was different.

Yeongwon finished one potato and was already peeling and eating a second.

When their eyes met, she raised her brows and pointed with her fingertips to the potato she had peeled earlier and offered him to try.

“Ha!”

Letting out a hollow laugh, Yisin rhythmically tapped the dusted table with his fingertips—tap, tap.

And just as Yeongwon finished the second potato and picked up a third, he finally spoke.

“If you’re going to keep eating, go back and eat there. How long do you plan to stay in my courtyard?”

Startled by his rather sharp tone, Yeongwon paused and set the potato down.

As she fell silent, as if choosing what to say first, Yisin spoke again.

“So, what exactly did you do in my courtyard?”

When Yeongwon raised her eyes, she met Yisin’s gaze.

“I tidied it up.”

“Yeah. I can see that. So why?”

Yisin’s lips twisted askew.

Yeongwon pressed her lips together.

His blunt way of speaking was no different from the night before, and her face flushed hot, her ears burning.

But she would have to say it eventually.

“I wanted to change your mind, Master. My father taught me that if you want to move someone’s heart, you must give your own heart fully. While searching for a way to do that, I ended up cleaning. I thought it might leave a good impression on you.”

As Yeongwon poured out her words in a rush, Yisin’s hand, which had been tapping the table, stilled.

“Did it leave a good impression?”

Encouraged, Yeongwon spoke again.

The first time was the hardest; the second was easier.

“I’ll continue to serve you well. Please marry me.”

When he didn’t respond, Yeongwon once again spoke directly, just as she had the day before.

It was something Ha Yeongwon, a proper young lady of Hanseongbu, would never dare to say aloud.

But Ha Yeongwon, a wandering orphan girl whose only goal was survival, could say it shamelessly.

Watching Yisin frown, Yeongwon folded her eyes into a gentle smile.

Until now, she had always been the one put in an awkward position—but not this time.

“I’ll do whatever it takes until you feel like marrying me. I’ll manage Yeongyeongdang, prepare meals, and if necessary, I’ll even do the laundry.”

“…Are you saying you’ll become a servant?”

“It means I’m that desperate. I want to live. I have to live. And… I thought you might have misunderstood yesterday, so I wanted to explain properly.”

“Misunderstood?”

“I truly am sorry for getting you entangled in this, and I truly want to take responsibility. In the end, it may look like I’m using you because I want to live—but my feelings aren’t false. You said it doesn’t matter to you if you die at any time, but I don’t want that for you. I want you to live.”

Yisin swept his gaze over the neatly ordered courtyard and main hall, then over the inner quarters and detached buildings that were still messy, untouched by her hands.

“Do you really think you can change my mind this way?”

“…I don’t know. But there’s a saying, isn’t there? You don’t notice the place someone occupies, but you notice the emptiness when they’re gone. No matter how I think about it, this is all I can do right now.”

Over the past few days, Yeongwon had come to a painfully clear realization.

How useless she was, how weak, how foolish.

She had realized it, accepted it—and now she intended to hone herself.

Her father had always said that when it came to learning, it was never “too late.”

As if he had read her resolve, Yisin’s gaze sank deeply into her.

Yeongwon felt sweat gathering in her palms.

She tried to calm herself, but the pressure—like standing before a ferocious beast—was unavoidable.

“But what should I do? I don’t need guilt or responsibility.”

A sudden, mischievous smile curved Yisin’s lips.

For some reason, Yeongwon felt certain that whatever he was about to say next would not be pleasant.

“Marriage is one of life’s greatest obligations. How can you decide a lifetime with just that? You seem able to share a blanket over something like this—but I can’t.”

“Then what you’re saying is…?”

“I have to like you.”

Yisin’s words were simple and clear.

Yeongwon pressed her lips together.

“Before you like me… I’ll die.”

“Then there’s nothing to be done.”

Yeongwon truly felt she couldn’t understand this man.

Did he really not value his life? Was he truly determined to marry only someone he loved? Or was he simply saying whatever it took to reject her?

Feeling stifled, Yeongwon suddenly grew stubborn and lifted her chin.

“Then it seems simple.”

Yisin tilted his head slightly and raised his brows.

“You just need to like me.”

For the first time, Yisin’s relaxed expression—one that had seemed to toy with her no matter what she said—froze.

And for some reason, Yeongwon felt a sense of relief.

She smiled—not her previous gentle smile, but one tinged with a certain arrogance.

“Like me.”

Yeongwon’s slender yet resolute voice softly filled the main hall of Yeongyeongdang.

“Why didn’t you stop me?”

Rarely did Yeongwon cry out at Sorae like this.

Sitting on a chair with her face buried in her hands, Yeongwon felt more humiliated and ashamed than she ever had when disguised as a beggar.

“Miss, what do you mean? You were amazing.”

“I must have been possessed by a ghost. Did I really say something like that with my own mouth? Without a shred of shame!”

Yeongwon grabbed her lips with her right hand, tugging at them as if to tear them off.

What had come over her? She had boldly said those words to Yisin in the main hall of Yeongyeongdang—only to regret them bitterly the very next moment.

Because Yisin, brows twisted, had looked her up and down and asked back with a half-smile.

—What exactly am I supposed to like? That you mistake a perfectly healthy man for a grim reaper? Or that you foolishly got bewitched by a dark spirit and nearly died? Or that you only ever do the things you’re told not to do and end up cursed…

Being criticized so pointedly, her face burning hot, Yeongwon couldn’t bear to listen any longer. She hastily said she would come again and fled Yeongyeongdang.

“Miss, what’s done is done. Torturing yourself over it will only make you feel worse. First, please wash up. Look at you—you’re covered in dust.”

Led by Sorae, Yeongwon washed herself in the bathhouse, changed out of her dust-covered clothes, and put on a sky-blue skirt.

Having calmed herself somewhat while bathing, Yeongwon still felt embarrassed whenever she thought about what had happened at Yeongyeongdang, but she couldn’t keep dwelling on it forever and tried to think of something else.

“We don’t have any spare clothes left, do we?”

“Don’t worry. I washed everything we wore on the first day. But the crimson skirt you wore today is torn, so it’ll be hard to wear again.”

At Sorae’s words, Yeongwon frowned.

During the days they stayed with the Geom family, she and Sorae had worn the clothes prepared for them and eaten the meals provided.

With no time to assess their situation or plan ahead—and then being struck by that curse on top of everything—they had been too overwhelmed to consider their circumstances.

Now, neither Yeongwon nor Sorae had a single silver coin—nor even a copper coin.

As the saying went, the moment they left the Geom household, they would be nothing more than penniless beggars.

Sitting cross-legged on the bedding, Yeongwon began to think seriously about the problems she had overlooked until now.