THGA 11

Episode 11

3… 2… 1.

Ding, ding, ding— the bells of the clock tower rang. Then I heard footsteps, steadily drawing closer to me.

I’m so tired now. I don’t want to do anything anymore.

Feeling cold sweat soak my entire body, I swallowed my sobs and cried in silence. No matter how hard I tried, Sren’s image wouldn’t leave my mind. The sight of him cruelly dissecting Adenhar right before my eyes… Thinking of Adenhar, who was sacrificed because of me—because I couldn’t save him—made my chest ache unbearably.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. Adenhar….

I loosened the slack rope. Then I removed the cloth covering my eyes and the gag blocking my mouth. The moment I did, tears spilled from my eyes.

“Haa… hhk….”

I couldn’t breathe. This place was far too horrific. I buried my face in my hands and sobbed. I wanted to run away. I wanted to go back to my original world. I had no confidence that I could escape this place, repeating this kind of suffering over and over again.

I can’t defeat Sren. I can’t read his thoughts. I will never… ever be able to escape from him.

“Hhk… hic….”

Overwhelmed by despair, all I could do was cry endlessly. Because I had died, the game had reset. But instead of feeling like I’d been given another chance, fear struck me first.

Even now, all that filled my mind was the image of Adenhar being brutally murdered by Sren right before my eyes.

Watching his death helplessly was different from the very first time I saw the corpse Sren had brought back. The more I learned what kind of person he was, the more I came to understand the character named Adenhar… the deeper my guilt and despair grew.

At first, I just wanted to survive somehow. But now, I simply wanted to die. I didn’t want to do anything anymore. I never wanted to see Adenhar die again because of my mistake.

While I was lost in thought, the footsteps had already stopped in front of the room. Soon, click—I heard the door handle turn. Wrapped in a flash of lightning, he stepped into the room. The very person who had driven me into this despair—Sren Crochette.

“Rachel.”

Seeing me crying, his eyes wavered as if he were genuinely startled. But to me, that expression felt utterly disgusting.

As if he truly cared about me. When all he sees me as is a toy to bind and control… why are you making that sad face?

That’s right, Sren. You probably don’t know, do you? Just how miserable and crushed I feel right now. Exactly how much more do you need to torment me before you’re satisfied?

The moment that thought crossed my mind, my head went cold. Reason had already left me. I lunged at him without hesitation, grabbed his neck with both hands, and slammed him down. I thought he would resist—but instead, he weakly allowed himself to be caught.

It was like a bird of prey calmly facing prey that couldn’t escape. Sren’s indifferent gaze fixed on me, and slowly, his lips parted.

“Rachel.”

The moment he called my name, I screamed, nearly mad with rage.

“I hate you…! I really hate you! I wish you’d just drop dead right now!”
“……”
“Don’t say you love me! Your confession is disgusting! Your very existence is revolting! I never want to see you again!”

He must be angry at my words, right? Fine. Then just kill me already. I don’t want to live anymore.

What’s the point of having six lives left? Failure was inevitable anyway. How am I supposed to defeat this lunatic?

Nothing mattered anymore. I didn’t care if I could never return to my original world. I just wanted to end everything right here. After enduring repeated deaths, my heart had become utterly barren.

Then Sren, who had been staring at me expressionlessly, slowly smiled. He wrapped his hands around mine as they gripped his neck—and pressed them tighter.

“Do you want me dead?”
“……!”
“If so, then kill me.”
“…What?”
“Rachel, if it’s by your hands, I’m willing to give up my life.”

Sren didn’t move at all as he said it. He didn’t hesitate in the slightest about his own death. Stunned, I asked blankly,

“Why…? When you tried so hard to kill me!”

He answered without a moment’s thought.

“Because I love you.”
“……!”
“You want to kill me because you love me too, don’t you? If I can become yours, I’ll gladly die by your hands, Rachel.”
“H—haha….”
“It’s an honor. Even in death, I’ll belong to you.”

You crazy bastard.

I let out a hollow laugh, as if I’d lost my mind. The strength drained from my hands, which trembled dangerously. To him, even death—if it was something I gave him—was nothing more than ecstatic pleasure.

There was no answer. I couldn’t even leave so much as a scratch on him. As I bit my lip in frustration, his hand touched my cheek.

“Poor Rachel.”

His pity-soaked voice stirred even more unbearable emotions inside me.

“Someone as soft-hearted as you could never kill me. You’re far too gentle for that.”
“……!”
“How could I possibly leave someone so fragile alone?”

He knew me better than I knew myself. I couldn’t even argue back. My body trembled as if seized by chills, and at last, I lowered my head and burst into tears again.

He was right. I wasn’t ruthless enough. I couldn’t kill him. I had never killed anyone before—hurting another person was impossible for me from the start. Even if this was a world inside a game, it felt no different from reality, which made it even harder.

If I could do it… then that would have been my nature. But I wasn’t that cruel. I wasn’t heartless enough to kill someone I hated.

That made me furious.

Tears slid down my cheeks and fell onto his face. Sren gently wiped them away and said,

“Still, I’m happy.”
“……hic.”
“You’re angry because of me right now, aren’t you?”
“……hng.”
“I was worried because you’ve been holding everything in for so long. If this is what it takes for you to feel better, then do it.”

You lunatic.

“The way you cry because of me… it’s really beautiful.”

How could he say something like that to me? Sren’s hand had already reached my lips. Horrified by the sight of him, I instinctively shoved him away.

“N-no! Don’t touch me! It’s disgusting!”

I wished he would just leave me alone. Instead, Sren pulled me tightly into his arms. He was so strong I couldn’t move at all. Stroking my head gently, he whispered,

“What should I do with you?”
“……hng.”
“I don’t want you to hate me. Seeing you cry like this… makes me want to hold you even tighter.”

His voice was strangely warm. I lost even the will to push him away and sobbed until my throat hurt in his arms. Then, in a slightly self-mocking voice, Sren said,

“You never should have met me.”
“……”
“If you hadn’t, you wouldn’t have been this broken. Seeing you like this… hurts me too.”

Is this a dream? There’s no way the cruel Sren would say something like this to me. He terrified me. He tormented me… so why does he look so sad now, so lonely—like a lost child?

Then Sren placed a knife into my hand. Layering his hand over mine, he guided it toward his neck without hesitation.

“Rachel. If you’ve made up your mind, don’t hesitate.”

The sharp tip of the blade pierced Sren’s neck. I couldn’t hide my panic.

“N-no… d-don’t… d-do this. Please!”

But with eyes as deep and bottomless as the ocean, he tightened his grip around my hand. The blade pressed into his skin and began to cut through. Blood burst from his neck in response.

“Right here. The place you want to stab me.”
“…Hic. S-stop… please!”

But Sren never stopped. I could feel it vividly—the sensation of stabbing his neck with the knife. Trembling in terror, I begged him to stop.

That was the best I could do.