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Chapter 15
She can’t find the one thing she truly needs to find, and instead keeps finding only the most irrelevant things…
Does she even realize she’s become one of those “irrelevant things” herself?
Alexis let out a soundless laugh.
Thanks to that, Cecilia—who had barely managed to escape the bitter atmosphere—began absently playing with the ends of her hair out of habit.
Unlike that infuriatingly carefree boy, her mind was working at full speed.
I look forward to it.
That mocking tone.
The moment she recalled those words from earlier in the day, her fingers nearly slipped. Cecilia drew her hand higher this time, rubbing the back of her neck.
What should I do?
Wouldn’t it be rather ridiculous to just pretend she hadn’t seen anything and turn back like this?
Fortunately, the scraps of common sense and reason she still possessed erased her most impulsive—and most tempting—option.
Seven years had undeniably widened the gap between them. The real problem was how to close it again, and whether the other person even had the will to do so.
“Hello.”
“……”
“It’s a nice night.”
She offered a greeting before it grew too late, adjusting her shawl as she did.
When she lifted her eyes again after straightening her clothes—
The man, chin resting in his hand, was looking down at her quietly, and she met his gaze just as calmly, her hand frozen mid-motion.
She had expected this, so she wasn’t overly shaken. Still, the fact remained that there was no escaping.
That violet gaze was a prison—so persistent and meticulously crafted that it left her unable to so much as twitch.
She felt utterly lost, to the point of forgetting the faintly shimmering surface of the water, the shrill chirping of insects in the grass, and the scent of wild roses tickling her nose.
It even erased the passage of time itself—yes, it felt like drifting alone in a vast, boundless sea.
If the wind hadn’t swept in and tried to steal her shawl, she might have remained there, foolishly dazed, for much longer.
The simple act of re-securing it broke the strange moment.
Avoiding Alexis’s gaze rather clumsily this time, Cecilia finally noticed the cigarette held between his long fingers.
She couldn’t help but flinch at the sight of something exhaling a thin stream of smoke into the air.
Noticing her shattered composure, Alexis let out a soft chuckle.
“Why don’t you come up?”
How old is he now, smoking already—?!
Her head overheated, and Cecilia hurried forward, nearly breaking into a run.
But the instant she reached the space beneath the pavilion—
She remembered that Alexis was already an adult.
On the second step, she noticed how practiced his movements were.
On the third, she realized the color of the smoke was slightly unusual.
It wasn’t like ordinary cigarette smoke. It was glossier, more luminous… silver.
By the time she stepped onto the final stair, Cecilia had regained a subdued calm.
As she fully entered the pavilion, Alexis pulled the cigarette from his lips and moved to stub it out in the ashtray.
“No, it’s fine. You can keep smoking.”
“If you insist.”
He shrugged and set the ashtray on the railing.
Cecilia watched as the cigarette wrapped in his long, straight fingers was brought back between his lips.
A hazy strand of smoke spread into the summer night, its sharp scent teasing her nose.
The scene felt unreal enough to leave her light-headed.
“It’s medicinal tobacco.”
The sudden explanation made her lift one eyebrow.
“Medicinal?”
“It dulls your thoughts a little… an excellent stabilizer for calming emotions.”
“To prevent a magical backlash?”
That explained his softened gaze, the faint drag in his speech.
“Yes.”
Perched comfortably against the railing, Alexis nodded lightly.
Cecilia’s eyes, which had been wandering around his face, followed the thin trail of smoke downward—only to settle once more on his lips.
The corners of his mouth, already tilted in a smile, pulled even smoother.
A mischievous grin, the kind a playful child might wear.
It was unfair—his overall air was languid, yet that smile alone was disarmingly innocent.
Cecilia’s fingertips twitched.
Because it was the same smile he’d worn as a child.
In an instant, longing surged up, softening her sense of dissonance, and she took a step forward without realizing it—
Hoping, somehow, that the widened distance between them might narrow again.
If only Alexis would allow it, she truly wanted to be a good sister.
She wanted to show him only that version of herself.
If, until the very end that would someday come, she could continue to show him nothing but that gentle image.
She forced her voice out.
“…So, Alec.”
“Yes?”
She needed to answer quickly—
But the awkwardness clogged her throat, and she couldn’t bring herself to speak.
A man she both knew and did not know stood before her.
Smiling at her.
* * *
Alexis Lucien returned to the Rive Academy at four in the afternoon, when the sun had begun to tilt just enough and even the wind seemed to drift lazily.
The prince, who had intended to go see his sister right away, was stopped in his tracks by a message brought by the chief attendant.
Come to the office.
Beneath the concise order was the flowing signature of the Emperor.
No matter how he looked at it, the name didn’t change. Alexis sighed softly in resignation and turned toward the office.
“You sent for—”
“Your Highness! My goodness, you’ve grown so much!”
“……”
“Perhaps you don’t recognize me, Your Highness—”
“It’s been a while, Count Kellier.”
Vincent Kellier, the count who had once been hailed as the academy’s finest mind—and Alexis’s tutor.
For reasons unclear, tears streamed freely down his face.
Still gripping the door handle, Alexis briefly entertained the wicked thought of backing away altogether.
If not for his father’s piercing glare, he truly might have.
In the end, he stepped inside against his will.
Count Kellier rushed over, blowing his nose loudly into a handkerchief and repeatedly wiping away tears.
“You remember me!”
“It’s been seven years. We didn’t part when I was that young.”
“Just as I thought—you’ve grown into a splendid young man! I always believed you would!”
“…Uh-huh. Right. Thank you…”
Back when I was a kid, I’m pretty sure I put at least three holes in you.
If I’m being honest.
Whether his tutor had chosen to romanticize those troublesome years or not, Count Kellier nodded solemnly.
Nearby, Armand observed in silence, chin resting in his hand.
No—more precisely, with his mouth covered, he was probably laughing.
Damn it.
The faint twitch of his cheek made it obvious.
Alexis smiled with his eyes narrowing slightly. The moment Armand realized that ominous smile was directed at him, he intervened with a stern expression.
That smile, on either his son or daughter, was always a sign of impending trouble.
“Now, now, Count Kellier. Let’s end this tearful reunion here. Isn’t it time we discussed Alec’s imperial studies?”
At once, the torrent of tears stopped.
The shift from vacant to severe was, objectively speaking, terrifying.
After demonstrating that impressive trick, Vincent Kellier straightened himself and began unrolling papers he must have stored somewhere—who knew where.
“I’ve been preparing for this very day! I’ve ground my bones to dust over the past seven years!”
“……”
Armand offered a look of silent condolence.
Alexis ignored his father, who seemed determined to be irritating.
“Now then, Your Highness! Please focus!”
“…I am.”
“Excellent posture!”
“…Right.”
No longer a foolish young teenager, nor able to poke holes in his teacher anymore, Alexis silently endured the dazzlingly enthusiastic gaze.
* * *
The day’s schedule ended with a long-overdue dinner with his tutor.
By the time the farewell was complete, the shadows cast by the summer sunset had long since melted into night.
After washing up, the dark sky was densely embroidered with stars.
Fatigue washed over him.
He had returned straight from the Monte-Ferte Mage Tower and immediately plunged into his schedule—it was only natural.
Had he not grown accustomed to sleepless nights at the tower, he wouldn’t have endured it.
Even so, knowing sleep wouldn’t come easily, Alexis forced his heavy eyelids open and stepped into the garden.
The quiet sounds of Fontrep welcoming the night echoed softly.
Amid them was the steady rhythm of his own heartbeat.
The rustle of grass in the cool breeze, the ripple of water across the pond’s surface… and somewhere, the soft patter of four feet.
Listening to that harmony teasing the night’s silence, Alexis walked toward the pavilion.
The breeze carrying the scent of water felt refreshingly cool.
As a rule, he smoked at least one medicinal cigarette a day.
The moment a thin plume of silver smoke rose, his mind grew languid.
Like sinking endlessly beneath the surface, like drifting deeper and deeper into a dream, his consciousness grew hazy.
Smoking medicinal tobacco was the act of igniting one impulse in order to extinguish all other sensations.
A pitiful—perhaps even desperate—struggle to suppress the madness within.
His mouth grew dry.
Not from the sharp scent or the spicy taste, but simply because of the silver smoke rising at the very end.
More than anything, because it reminded him of that same silver…
Rustle.
Alexis slowly lowered his gaze.
Before he could even wonder who it was, he already knew the answer.
Not because he remembered that only members of the imperial family were allowed into Serain Garden, but simply because one sound—one heartbeat—had grown irregularly faster.
Just as expected.
“Good evening, Sister.”
A woman looked up at him, her figure like something drawn from a dream.
