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Chapter 20
My hand isn’t exactly small either…
Phileus lightly closed his hand around hers. His long fingers intertwined with hers, idly brushing her nails.
Vanessa let out a small laugh.
“Your Grace… you just wanted to hold my hand, didn’t you?”
“You already know the answer, so are you asking because you want to hear me say it?”
“No. Just don’t say anything.”
“I won’t say it. But isn’t it customary to greet someone before a dance? So instead of a greeting… if you would permit me…”
“No kissing my hand.”
“Not the ‘hand’?”
Why is he suddenly so playful today?
Vanessa glared at him. She seemed to be the only one tense.
Phileus shook his head.
“Forgive me. I tend to talk too much when I’m nervous.”
“Fine.”
Vanessa pretended nothing was wrong and placed her left hand on his shoulder.
“Excuse me.”
His right hand rested on her shoulder blade. Through the thin fabric, his warmth reached her.
Is it really okay to be this close? Was this how it was supposed to be?
Her body stiffened awkwardly.
Phileus looked down at her for a moment, then adjusted his hold, supporting her back more firmly. Her unsteady body was drawn into his embrace.
“…You’re very skilled.”
“As I mentioned, I once had the status of a prince.”
He began to lead her slowly.
“I can’t really imagine that.”
“Until the previous emperor’s reign ended, I was summoned to every imperial ball.”
“So you were like this even then?”
Phileus smiled quietly.
“You assume I’ve always lived like this. I’m aware of the rumors among young nobles about me. But not everything is true.”
So someone in the past had danced with Phileus face to face.
The thought left a faint sting of disappointment.
Phileus gently pulled her arm; she turned in place.
“By the way, Your Grace… you do know I danced with His Highness the Crown Prince at the count’s mansion, don’t you?”
That was the only reason, Vanessa thought, that he would ask her to dance at a time like this.
Perhaps Abel had reported it to him.
And perhaps Phileus had imagined Conrad’s hand on her waist.
The new-season dress was thin and flowing. Perhaps his “I want to lock you away” was jealousy, in its own twisted way.
Even interpreting something like this makes me sound insane.
“Your Grace… I don’t know what Abel may have reported, but—”
“Forgive me, Miss Vanessa, but who is Abel?”
Vanessa went blank.
Was I wrong?
“Abel… my guard. Didn’t he report today’s events to you?”
“…Your guard’s duty is to protect you, not report on you.”
“So… you didn’t know?”
“Of course I knew.”
“….”
“You may not believe me, but I know far more about you than you think.”
Vanessa nearly lost her balance in surprise.
Phileus supported her fully for a moment, then carefully set her upright again.
“I mean I have people in the capital. It’s troublesome, but given certain circumstances… I hope you won’t be offended.”
He knows a lot…
Vanessa couldn’t help but think of the incident at the Lang estate.
No. That’s impossible. No one knows about that except Agnès and me.
“So what you’re saying is… you’ve never intentionally tried to monitor me?”
“Well… that depends on your definition of intent.”
She was about to protest his wordplay when he suddenly lifted her off the ground.
Vanessa instinctively grabbed his shoulder. Before she knew it, she was pressed fully against him.
“…Your Grace, weren’t we dancing a waltz?”
“It is a kind of waltz.”
“Then you shouldn’t be holding me like this for so long.”
“Shall we make it something other than a waltz, then?”
“No. Put me down.”
Phileus immediately set her down. Vanessa’s heart was pounding wildly—she couldn’t tell whether from embarrassment or something else.
She glanced at the mirror. As expected, her cheeks were flushed red.
Phileus spoke.
“I knew… you were meeting Conrad today. And imagining you there… like that…”
“In what way?”
“In such a beautiful state.”
His tone was almost accusatory.
“Are you angry right now?”
“…Of course not.”
Vanessa realized then: his earlier behavior hadn’t been awkwardness or shyness.
When he entered the room, he had been angry. She could guess why.
Vanessa closed the still-playing music box.
“Did you know? This is the first time you’ve ever called me beautiful.”
She said it with unintended sarcasm.
Phileus exhaled faintly.
“Words like that… are meaningless. It’s like saying fire is hot.”
“Then your words are meaningless too, Your Grace. What exactly—”
“Perhaps it would be better if I simply did not speak at all.”
“So now you won’t even talk to me, after hiding your face from me?”
Phileus stepped closer and reached out.
Vanessa flinched, but did not avoid him.
His hands gently cupped her cheeks.
She froze.
She had not expected him to touch her so freely. Even after dancing together…
He looked down at her. A dark shadow fell over her face.
“My words mean nothing. In the end, you will do as you wish, and I will follow.”
“…Isn’t that something you chose yourself? Why does it sound like you’re blaming me?”
“Blame? Not at all. That is the reason I exist.”
“Anyone can say something like that.”
“That is my failure for not earning your trust.”
Vanessa felt irritation rising.
“And I’ve already told you—I won’t restrain you.”
He was referring to the incident at the music hall.
About accepting her regardless of lovers, as long as she returned to him.
“You say you won’t restrain me, yet you always watch me. What exactly do you think I am?”
Silence fell.
Phileus slowly lowered his hands.
“What I think of you… is better left unsaid. You would not want to hear it.”
He stepped back.
“Then I apologize for disturbing you at such a late hour.”
“You’re leaving like this?”
“Yes. If you permit it, I will handle Mason Frost’s matter.”
He bowed slightly.
“Good night, Miss Vanessa.”
And he left.
Vanessa stood frozen for a long time, staring at the closed door.
Two days later, Vanessa was at the opera house with Conrad.
After Act One, she left the box seat under the excuse of fixing her makeup. She had been exhausted from fending off Conrad’s subtle advances.
From the upper opposite seats, she used opera glasses to look down at the box.
Conrad sat slouched, yawning in boredom.
And not far away… Polina was there.
