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Chapter 9…
A Fairy Tale Book Enthusiast
The bookshelf at the back of the classroom was filled with books donated by students and books borrowed from the school library. Fairy tale books that had gone out of fashion were considered boring by lower-grade elementary school students. Biographies of great historical figures and books that explained stories through comics were much more popular.
But I always sat in the very last row, reading borrowed fairy tale books over and over until I had memorized their contents. Whenever a new fairy tale book appeared on the shelf, I would get excited and rush to borrow it before anyone else.
“Eun-dam, reading fairy tales again?”
“This one is more interesting than that.”
After the beginning of the semester passed, the situation between Cha Jun-jae and me was completely reversed. Second grade, third grade, fourth grade… The higher we advanced, the closer Cha Jun-jae got to the stars at the top, while I sank toward the bottom of the mountain.
I had been in the same class as Cha Jun-jae for every single year of elementary school. In first grade, Cha Jun-jae had taken control of our class. In second grade, he had conquered the entire grade. And by the time we reached the upper grades, when children started growing taller, he had become the most popular boy in school.
Meanwhile, I, who had briefly shone like a rising star at the beginning of first grade, had grown plump and chubby. My nicknames were either Flower Pig or Calf Pig.
When I stopped receiving attention, my delusions of being an empress naturally healed on their own. Only the princess syndrome I had inherited from my mother barely survived.
The school life I had dreamed of was achieved by Cha Jun-jae, who had grown ridiculously tall.
Back then, I both hated and admired Cha Jun-jae. I was learning, in the harshest and most painful way possible, that I wasn’t particularly special.
Cha Jun-jae, who had completely erased his first-grade image, acted kindly and warmly toward everyone. Even I found it impressive. Unlike me, who was only nice to people I was close to, Cha Jun-jae’s somewhat absentminded yet gentle personality never discriminated against anyone in the class, not even those who were bullied.
“Eun-dam.”
And this was where the deception began.
Whenever elementary school-aged Cha Jun-jae was asked who his best friend was, he would name me.
“Want to go there together after academy? I got a coupon as a gift.”
I began to dislike Aunt Su-yeong precisely around the time I reached the upper grades of elementary school. Whenever I signed up for a new academy, Aunt Su-yeong would follow suit as if it were some enormous event.
Having everyone’s favorite person all to yourself makes life exhausting. Especially when you’re a chubby girl who occupies neither here nor there a position in class. A girl whose only pleasure in life is stuffing her mouth with chocolate and candy.
“Where are you going?”
“I want to go too! Me too!”
There were five children who had been watching me ever since Cha Jun-jae borrowed our break time to approach me and strike up a conversation.
As soon as they saw the coupon for the family restaurant that was popular at the time, they began throwing out comments as if they were competing with one another.
I want to go too. Let’s go together. I’ll pay for my own food.
I was overwhelmed by the words of children I wasn’t even close to. Children I had wanted to become friends with, but who had rejected me.
Frightened, I clutched the fairy tale book I had been reading.
Cha Jun-jae, who had been naturally oblivious since birth, waited until their voices died down before saying a single thing.
“Sorry. We’re going after academy.”
All I remembered was being forced to stick around with Cha Jun-jae. I certainly couldn’t recall ever doing anything to entertain him.
And yet, he used the shield of being my childhood friend to share his daily routine with me.
There was no other way to explain it unless he wanted to steal my luck, my friends, and everything I had.
“Come to think of it, Eun-dam probably does need that coupon. It’s an unlimited buffet, after all.”
“Isn’t she going to eat, like, ten plates?”
The malice of children who had no adults around to keep them in check hurt.
At that age, even a slight frown from a friend your own age was enough to wound you.
When Cha Jun-jae wasn’t around, I could be confident, a little selfish, and still kind to the people I liked.
But whenever Cha Jun-jae was there, I became a punching bag lying in the middle of the street.
The little spells I used to give myself confidence were reduced to nothing but the limp shells of deflated balloons.
I had never once experienced people hating me since I was born. Yet whenever I stood beside Cha Jun-jae, I became everyone’s target, like an ugly, shrunken balloon.
Was I really such an unpleasant child?
Was I someone they could crush and make fun of like that?
Everyone except Cha Jun-jae and me was laughing.
They were children who were good at defending themselves and even better at attacking others.
With an adult’s mature perspective, I could understand them. It was only natural that they might feel jealous when Cha Jun-jae made plans with someone else instead of them.
But what did they care about the wounds of a growing girl who had only recently entered double-digit age?
“I don’t understand why they have to talk like that.”
“Hm?”
“I mean, to Eun-dam. Why do they talk to you like that?”
They say the sister-in-law who stops the mother-in-law from hitting you can be even more annoying than the mother-in-law herself.
I hated Cha Jun-jae, who did nothing to resolve the situation and instead only increased my resentment by trying to defend me.
I had no expectations of the children who apologized to Cha Jun-jae in the first place, so I didn’t hate them either.
Cha Jun-jae took his place as the hero who protected the weak.
I was neither a villain nor a victim. I was just some insignificant extra appearing in Cha Jun-jae’s story.
My role as the inadequate childhood friend was fixed for the next several years.
I hated every single person who looked at someone named Song Eun-dam however they pleased.
Once that cave-like trip down memory lane came to an end, my running speed dropped considerably.
Running around the island early in the morning was part of my routine. Even when I was in Korea, I never skipped my morning workout, stopping by a nearby gym without fail.
Ever since I turned twenty, I hadn’t touched chocolate or candy.
By the time sweat trickled down to the tip of my chin, I turned my head.
Just like yesterday, the restaurant I frequented was preparing to welcome the morning customers. Whenever I looked at the fox painted on its signboard, my pounding heart gradually settled down.
Eun-dam, why do you like fairy tale books so much?
I hadn’t been able to answer the few friends who had asked me that question.
I had given the usual explanation that I liked the clichés of fairy tales ending with happy endings, but in truth, there was a more special reason.
“Eun-dam!”
An employee who was tidying up the tables recognized me and greeted me.
For the tourists who had gathered to watch the sunrise, the employees were diligently sweeping the sand off the tables.
The employee, who had memorized the time we usually ran into each other every day, waved at me as if it had become second nature.
I raised my hand and gave him a bright smile in return.
As I briskly passed the fox signboard, peace settled over my heart.
Foxes in fairy tales usually didn’t have happy endings. They would scheme and plot, only to pay the price for their greed.
I was a fairy tale book enthusiast who passionately reread only the parts where the foxes got punished.
It was already miserable enough being a pathetic student who always lost to him. I didn’t want to become a villain who hated and tormented him, too.
No matter how much I barked and snapped at him, trying to pick fights with someone who was desperately trying to be nice to me, I would be the one who ended up looking like the bad person.
Strictly speaking, he hadn’t done anything objectively wrong.
The problem was that everything I wanted seemed to follow him around like a magnet.
So I got my vicarious compensation from the suffering that the foxes in fairy tales endured.
It was my own little revenge, one that only I knew about.
Because it reminded me of a certain someone who resembled a fox.
I turned onto the road where Koran Villa came into view and gradually slowed my pace.
Breathing heavily, I grabbed the hem of my shirt and fanned myself.
Considering the bottle of beer I’d drunk last night, there was no way I could afford not to run.
It was shocking enough that I had woken up in bed when I had expected to find myself asleep on the sofa after blacking out somewhere in the middle of the night.
I was too scared to ask who had carried me there.
Although I had used morning jogging as an excuse to leave at daybreak, it would be more accurate to say I had run away to avoid Cha Jun-jae, who had asked where my accommodation was yesterday.
What does it matter to you where I’m staying?
After finishing my jog, I wiped away my sweat with the handkerchief I’d brought along.
My next plan was to ride the bicycle parked outside the resort and return to my accommodation.
“Your outfit looks cool.”
“Yours looks even cooler. Are you a celebrity?”
“Something like that.”
“Can I get your social media ID?”
But what on earth was that man, who could make anyone who saw him feel a chill run down their spine?
Cha Jun-jae was chatting with a resort employee, wearing his usual clear, gentle smile.
He was perched on the bicycle seat as if he had anticipated my escape.
I froze in the very position I had been wiping my sweat.
Wouldn’t it be possible to run all the way to my accommodation and escape?
But the fox’s eyesight and instincts were far superior to mine.
“Eun-dam.”
Cha Jun-jae, looking perfectly neat and refreshed, as if he had already finished washing up, stood up.
Having been caught, I slowly turned my head and forced a smile onto my face.
Right.
It wasn’t as if I hadn’t dealt with that bastard once or twice before.
For some reason, the sky was especially clear today, without a single cloud.
It couldn’t possibly be a worse omen.
If only a torrential downpour would come and soak that fox to the bone.
“Ah! You’re up early!”
Fine. If he was going to play dirty, then I had a plan of my own.
Smiling brightly, I waved back at him.
Today is the day of your funeral.
