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chapter 10
Our Engagement Is Void (2)
Lucas’s dark eyes stared blankly into the void. Fortunately, he wasn’t as foolish as Serena had feared. He just needed a moment to fully process the weight of the past six years all at once.
“My selfishness, then.”
Rarely did his voice carry such bitterness. As Serena had said, the past years of his words and actions had become undeniable facts.
“Yes.”
“Even if not a single day went by when I forgot you?”
“That was Your Highness’s heart, a matter known only to you.”
No matter how much he had longed for her, no matter how much he had trained to become strong for her, the truth remained: he had neglected his fiancée for six full years.
“I trust you understand that our engagement has lost its meaning.”
Serena gave a light bow, as though signaling that there was nothing more to discuss.
“Then I shall take my leave. I will stamp the documents officially terminating our engagement and hand them to the steward…”
At that moment, Lucas’s thoughts snapped, and his dark eyes fixed on Serena.
“Wait.”
He cut her off and abruptly rose, striding steadily toward her.
“You intend to stamp the documents?”
“Yes.”
“So the documents were prepared in advance?”
Oh no. In her focus on sealing them quickly for relief, she had let slip too much.
“When did you prepare those documents? And when did you research those books you recited earlier?”
Her words caused a slight tremor in Lucas’s blue eyes. This time, Serena noticed it.
“Serena, you said you spent half a year in the capital after the engagement, correct?”
He stepped forward.
“Yes. Afterwards, I quietly lived with restraint in the Astel territory, wishing for Your Highness’s well-being.”
Step by step, she retreated.
“Hah.”
Her audacious calm made him let out a bitter laugh.
“Even if we grant that, the books you mentioned are only available in the capital or imperial libraries. Especially those compiled by previous emperors.”
“That…”
“Being my ancestors, I should know them better than you, shouldn’t I?”
Lucas’s mouth twisted.
“Looking at the library records from the months immediately after the engagement will make it clear, won’t it?”
Their gazes locked, tense, until Serena turned and stepped away. Lucas followed leisurely.
“I frequented the library often, as reading is my hobby.”
Serena spoke as calmly as she could.
“I also acquired many books in Astel. That’s because…”
“No. Didn’t I just say it concerns my ancestors?”
Lucas finally seized the offensive, his eyes gleaming with triumph.
“Books compiled under the names of former emperors are by law kept only in the imperial library.”
Damn.
Lucas hadn’t just grown taller and stronger—he’d outgrown childish arguments, becoming frustratingly clever.
“If you saw them in the imperial library, it means you were already planning to annul the engagement right after it. If obtained in Astel… hm, we’d need to investigate the seller and punish them.”
Either way, it put Serena at a disadvantage.
“These were such remarkable books that even after leaving the capital, they remain vivid in my memory.”
Yet she still had confidence in her brazen composure.
“So that’s how you’re going to play it?”
Serena carefully watched Lucas’s expression. No strong emotion betrayed him.
“My memory is sharp. I clearly remember that your temper was no ordinary thing.”
A chuckle escaped Lucas, almost irritatingly smug.
“I still remember vividly the harsh words you spoke to me at the engagement.”
“I was merely responding to Your Highness.”
“Few women could have done so. Perhaps none but you.”
Contrary to expectation, Lucas didn’t explode in anger or argue logically; he simply regarded Serena with a peculiar, calm smile.
“Perhaps that is why I could not forget you for even a single day.”
Unfortunately, Serena wasn’t the only one brazen. Lucas spoke with the ease of a poet, as if reciting verses.
“You were incredibly special to me.”
Had Serena been an ordinary young noblewoman, Lucas wouldn’t have harbored such stubborn resolve.
Like most adolescent boys, his constant bickering and teasing stemmed from a deep, awkward affection for her.
“At the time, I didn’t realize it, but my reason for wandering was you.”
Yet Serena could not have known this, and his strange gaze only heightened her unease.
“I wanted to become the strongest man on this continent, so I could meet you.”
It sounded so natural, as if he had repeated it nightly. But Serena had never witnessed the nights of his training.
“Yes, I’ll concede that.”
Serena let out a small sigh and looked at him. No matter how clever, she couldn’t fathom emotions she hadn’t experienced herself.
Besides, their first meeting had been so remarkable that she never imagined he had harbored romantic feelings.
“Your Highness may well be the strongest man on this continent.”
Serena said this with grace and composure. It wasn’t condescending, like offering candy to a crying child; otherwise, Lucas might have been moved.
“Truly remarkable, indeed.”
Her tone was sincere, yet far different from what Lucas had expected.
“However, there is no bond between us.”
She gave him another cold truth. Lucas had never encountered such a situation before.
“I wish to annul our engagement entirely. I mean it sincerely.”
Lucas ground his teeth.
“Do you despise me? Or have you fallen for someone else?”
“Swear it, that is not the case.”
Her firm reply softened his anger slightly.
“I am the Crown Prince of the Empire. Moreover, I have become stronger than anyone else, as you acknowledged. What is lacking in me as a marriage partner?”
Their conversation circled endlessly, trapped in their different ways of thinking. Lucas could not expect Serena to know that he had trained himself and longed for her in secret.
“Your Highness excels in every way.”
Even his self-centered pride—thinking all would go according to his will—could be an advantage when he became Emperor. He had forsaken a life of comfort to grow strong through determination.
“Then why do you speak only of having no bond, rather than welcoming my return?”
“That is a separate matter. Just as our past six years were different.”
“Are you resenting my indifference?”
Lucas knew the question was foolish, but the words had left his lips.
“I waited until I could appear before you with pride. I wanted to stand proudly before you. Has that only left resentment?”
“Not at all.”
She already knew. From the beginning, there had been no resentment in her gaze. Her blue eyes were not entirely negative, only filled with surprise and mild bewilderment.
“Well, I disliked you greatly at the engagement. But that was mutual, wasn’t it?”
Serena smiled brightly, enchantingly.
How lovely it would have been if she had smiled like that when he said he had come to take her away.
“All in the past, so it’s fine.”
“In the past,” Lucas repeated.
All his words were genuine. Even the claim that he had never forgotten her was true. Yet Serena considered all those years simply the past.
“I do not resent you, nor do I see you as lacking.”
She gave him no time to dwell in memory.
“I do not wish to become the Crown Princess. The royal family is not suited to me. Nor is marriage.”
Her gemstone-blue eyes shone brighter than any jewel, surpassing even his memory of her.
“I want to live as myself, not as someone’s woman.”
Lucas blinked slowly. He had never heard such words in his life.
“I refuse to spend my life suppressing myself to satisfy the expectations of others.”
He could never know it, but the wasted time of her previous life had left its scars.
You are neither this nor that.
Her earliest memory from the previous life was bursting into tears during training. She had tried so hard, yet could not become a gymnast.
Ah… forget it. Try a strength-based sport instead.
She was only eleven. She understood, even as a child, that gymnastics wasn’t for her—but the hurt lingered.
What good is strength alone? I said, volleyball is a team sport!
In a small country, the path to becoming a professional in arts or sports was brutally narrow. Some might call it an excuse for failure, but she had no will to force herself into something unsuitable.
Senior, assign her. Didn’t she play a sport as a child?
Exactly. Wow, I was surprised when I saw her lift the desk with one hand.
Those memories were countless. Her heart dulled over time, but it was being worn away, not lost.
Perhaps that was why, despite remembering much from her previous life, her own name remained stubbornly elusive.
“I hate being judged by others constantly.”
What did it matter if she was tall, strong, or not delicate and pure? Even if she never received praise for being gentle, so what?
“Exactly.”
Because of such trivialities, her dreams had been abandoned, and she had been mocked. Even bowing her head could not escape the ridicule.
“I cannot be a compliant Crown Princess, nor a graceful Empress.”
To make up for the regrets of her past life, Serena now had the opportunity to pursue her dreams, supported by warm, encouraging people.
“I have already decided. If you truly cannot forgive me, then I would rather you kill me.”
She wanted to protect this life with everything she had. Days full of excitement, of sparkling possibilities, to live fully as herself.
