🔊 TTS Settings
Chapter 56
At Eshedwa’s words, all the strength in my body drained away in an instant.
“…Huh?”
The tension I had thought colder than my eyes and deeper than a lake—never something light—vanished into thin air without a trace.
“If you can do anything, you should be able to handle this easily, right?”
Kneel?
Since I was a child, I had knelt countless times before my father.
‘Is that really what you want?’
He must have said it knowing how much I would lose with just that one action.
‘…’
The person I saw before me was different from my father, the one I had dreaded so much.
“Why, can’t you do it?”
I had believed… or at least wanted to believe, that you would never treat me like that.
But if you now expect from me the same thing my father did, how am I supposed to act?
My hands slid dangerously behind my back.
“Does this mean your love for me isn’t strong enough?”
From Eshedwa’s gaze supporting me, he immediately noticed my reaction.
I had unconsciously shown a gesture of refusal.
“Or if not…”
I felt the touch pushing me to the edge, blood rushing backward, cold sweat running down my back.
“Have you broken the spell?”
“Eshe…”
The moment I called him, I barely held onto the fraying thread of reason.
Because I realized what he truly desired.
‘He’s trying to see if the spell has been lifted.’
I gathered the scattered tension in my body and stretched out my arms.
“I’ll do whatever you ask…”
I leaned into his broad chest, wrapping my arms around him.
“Anything, I’ll do it all.”
I pressed my face into him and closed my eyes tightly.
“Good, of course you should say that.”
Eshedwa lightly covered my cheek with his hand.
“If you hadn’t answered that way, it would have been troublesome.”
His words, whispered along with a lazy breath, made my throat tremble.
His voice was gentle, but somehow more frightening than any threat.
It wound around my ears and scrambled my thoughts.
“You don’t have to wear such a sad expression. As long as you’re useful to me, I’ll keep cherishing you.”
He pressed a soft kiss to my cheek.
“The king is kind to everyone, but… I’ve never seen him like this.”
“It’s the first time attending another noble’s birthday party like this too.”
“The duke is lucky, having everything.”
I was so used to the person I liked hating me.
I was tired of facing anyone’s unkindness, worn out from so many encounters…
And yet, why does my whole body ache as if I’ve been beaten?
I didn’t know what to say, what to do, or how to look at Eshedwa. I lowered my gaze.
‘Ah… right now, I’m…’
I was hurt.
✦ ✦ ✦
Alcohol.
I shouldn’t have drunk so much…
It was my first time hosting a party as both the host and the main figure, and I overdid it a little.
“Did I drink too much?”
No… I still felt okay, more or less.
I stepped out onto the terrace to clear my head. The world wavered slightly, but I could still hold myself upright.
“Ah.”
The cold wind mixed with my hot breath.
“Eshedwa.”
His words from earlier wouldn’t leave my mind.
Sitting alone in the darkness, with only moonlight, I felt as if I were the only person in the world.
My mind grew increasingly hazy.
The alcohol warmed my pale skin until it flushed red.
“I’ve always looked down on things from this height…”
At night.
Secretly.
“It’s quiet.”
I often sat like this when I couldn’t sleep while everyone else was asleep.
Thump!
I reflexively froze at the sight of a stark white figure falling from above.
One shape dropped, then another followed swiftly.
“Ouch, ouch.”
“It’s higher than I thought.”
My heart, already racing faster from the alcohol, began to pound even more violently.
“Hian…? His?”
From above—specifically, the window on the upper floor—the JPino twins jumped onto the terrace where I stood, brushing off their crumpled clothes.
“Ah… is this a good time?”
“If not, we can come again later.”
I watched as one grabbed his lower back and the other his hips.
Hian, who spotted me first, hesitated and asked:
“Are you drunk?”
“Your eyes are glazed, Inerea.”
“Your face is red.”
He withdrew his hand after reaching for me.
Why?
It contrasted sharply with his previous casual, approachable attitude, though it remained a brief question.
Instead, I grabbed his hand and brought it to my face.
Ah… so cool.
The cold touch on my heated cheeks felt soothing. I rubbed my face slowly against his palm.
“…”
“…”
It felt like life-giving water after a drought.
“Inerea, wait a moment.”
Hurriedly, like someone starved for days, I pressed myself closer to keep his hand from leaving.
“You’re really drunk right now.”
“Let’s talk later. I’ll come tomorrow.”
I pressed my lips in a straight line and shook my head side to side.
I buried my face in the chest of Hian—or was it His?—and hugged him tightly.
“Don’t go.”
It would hurt too much otherwise.
Anyone was fine.
No matter who you are, just stay with me for now.
I felt the tension in the body I hugged stiffen.
“Don’t go. Stay with me.”
Cool yet cold, warm yet cold.
I muttered, head bowed in his embrace.
“Every moment always felt long and slow…”
The sweet scent of peaches filled me.
I gripped the collar of the one holding me tighter to prevent him from leaving.
“This winter feels especially long.”
The moment I said it, a sudden terror and desperation overtook me, and I clung to him even more tightly.
“When another winter comes, will you leave me like falling leaves?”
“Inerea?”
“Why say that? Are you really okay?”
The endless thirst inside me made me anxious.
They approached me now because I needed them, forming a temporary alliance—but one day, when I’m no longer useful, they will turn away.
Just like so many others had.
“It’s always been like that. Everyone pushed me away, saying I was useless. You’ll do the same.”
“No. That’s not true. So… okay? Don’t cry… you’re not crying.”
“Why do you look like you’re about to cry but don’t?”
The two voices drifted faintly away.
My legs gave out.
Sliding down, I couldn’t let go of the hands holding me.
“I’ve been wrong since birth. I wasn’t the boy my father wanted, and I made everyone suffer. No, even before I was born, I think I made many people suffer.”
I muttered words I didn’t even know who they were for.
“One day, when you know who I really am, you’ll hate me too, won’t you?”
My words grew heavier.
“I find it easier to be hated than loved. If you’re going to hate me anyway… don’t show me kindness from the start.”
I couldn’t resist the hands lifting me, collapsing helplessly.
In the peach-scented embrace, I wrapped my arms around his neck and repeated my plea.
“Don’t let me grow attached to you.”
“Why… why say that?”
His voice faltered above me.
Through my blurred vision, I saw his distorted face.
“Why do you say such painful things?”
I forced myself to hold onto my senses while staring into his trembling eyes.
“I’m scared of going back to how things were. I told you I needed you, didn’t I?”
“…”
“…”
“Please, keep saying I’m needed. I’ll become someone you absolutely need.”
I buried my face into his shoulder.
“So don’t hate me, don’t think I’m useless… just stay by my side.”
The voice, fading faintly into the air, reached the two men holding me as I teetered, drunk and about to collapse.
✦ ✦ ✦
Inerea fell asleep as if collapsing, and Hian and His couldn’t lift their feet for a long while.
“She looked like she might cry… but she didn’t.”
“…”
They held her out of confusion and bewilderment.
They were unsettled seeing themselves so captivated by her last time, avoiding her now out of unfamiliarity.
Carefully, they adjusted Inerea’s posture.
Their hands trembled slightly.
She had seemed unbreakable, yet here they glimpsed a completely different side.
“She seems really drunk.”
Neither Hian nor His could say anything more.
What they had seen was too shocking.
Even they didn’t know how deeply that shock had imprinted.
Their stomachs churned, and some unknown emotion anchored their feet.
All they could do was cautiously move the woman in their arms—neither holding her too tightly nor letting her touch the ground.
