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chapter 30
I hurriedly wedged myself between the knights and Damian.
Just like the maids had said, the knights’ quarters are separate from the maids’ quarters.
In other words, this was my first time facing the knights directly.
Seeing me suddenly appear, they seemed startled and immediately took a defensive stance.
“Wh– who are you?”
“Hello, I am—”
“Underling Number 1!”
“Lord Damian’s… underling?”
“Yup! My underling, Rose!”
Realizing I knew Damian, the knights eased their guard a bit and finally looked at me properly.
“This tiny thing?”
“She looks like a doll that came to life.”
└ [Ah— here come the childcare-novel reactions]
└ [YES!!! Tell her she’s cute!!!!!]
The young knight who called me a doll apparently meant it literally, because he added:
“You know those kids’ dolls that snap apart if you touch them even a little?”
└ [♪♬♬♩Ah]
Why were they suddenly singing complaints? What reaction were they expecting?!
The knights soon began murmuring among themselves.
“My goodness. If my fist even brushed her, she’d go flying.”
“She wouldn’t even fill a single fist.”
└ [Why is everyone’s unit of measurement “fists” here?]
It was a metaphor, sure—but not untrue.
Everyone in this elite order was huge. Their hands were enormous.
‘I know I’m not literally fist-sized, but they probably could hold my whole head in one hand…’
As I thought that, one thick hand really did move toward my head.
Remembering how Gerald once touched my head, I reflexively flinched and squeezed my eyes shut.
‘Huh?’
I felt a gentle touch instead. When I opened my eyes, I saw the largest of the knights resting his palm lightly on my head.
└ [Gasp! Head pats— it begins]
└ [Childcare arc: TRUE START]
“Assassins…”
“…Pardon?”
“Be careful.”
└ [Like… be careful walking at night?]
…He probably meant, be careful of assassins.
‘You’re STILL looking for that assassin?!’
How long are they going to hold onto that?!
The hand left my head quickly, but the chill it brought lingered—like he was implying he’d crush the culprit in one hand the moment he found them.
‘Judging by this atmosphere… I should probably keep quiet about beating the young lord twice.’
Damian only let it go because he’s a kid. Who knows how the adults would react?
At Count Torto’s estate, they would’ve kicked me out on the spot.
As I tried to slip away quietly, Damian tilted his head and brought the topic back up.
“Assassin? What assassin?”
“You mentioned it before, Lord Damian. That shameless villain who dared to attack you inside the ducal estate we guard—”
“Lord Damian! I have something to tell you. It’s good news!”
I quickly pushed Damian away, urging him forward before they remembered anything else.
I silently vowed to avoid attention as much as possible.
By now, I’d been living in the duke’s estate for several weeks. I’d developed a routine.
In the morning, I interpret for Damian so he can understand his lessons.
At lunch, I interpret again to prevent miscommunication between Damian and Grandpa Benjamin!
└ [The long road back to interpreter… lol]
└ [If she interprets divine language too, she’ll awaken for sure]
└ [A highly-developed interpreter is basically a saint]
For a house that banished me because a “god” appeared…
Anyway, after doing Damian-childcare for most of the day, I spend my free time chatting with the maid sisters.
Sometimes I wander around to “scout” the atmosphere.
‘Oh. Knights coming through!’
…and then quickly duck out of sight whenever I encounter knights.
└ [Can’t you just say “there’s no assassin” and end it?]
I thought about it… but saying that outright feels dangerous.
‘What if there really is one?!’
Thinking of grown-up Damian—full of scars—made me uneasy.
And if I denied the assassin, they’d ask, “Then who attacked Lord Damian?” and dig for the culprit.
‘Better to let some unknown assassin take the blame.’
└ [Assassin: ??]
Besides, tight security isn’t exactly a bad thing.
So I decided to just avoid them.
‘Phew. Luckily I’m small—easy to hide if I just crouch down—’
I stepped out from behind a flowerbed once the knights passed—
only to freeze at the presence behind me.
When I turned, Duke Valente was standing nearby, staring right at me!
‘Ah. Was I acting too suspiciously?’
He already thought this wasn’t a place suited for children.
And now he caught me sneaking around like a suspicious mouse.
“Wow, w–wow! There’s a snail behind the flowerbed!”
I spit out the first excuse I could think of.
The duke gave me a knowing look—“Of course.”
He began walking past me, but I quickly jumped in front of him.
“Um!”
“…Are you calling me?”
“Yes. There’s nobody else here but you, Your Grace.”
“You were hiding because you’re afraid of the knights, weren’t you?”
“No. I wasn’t scared, I just—”
“You avoided me the first time we met too.”
If he meant back in the capital…
But I’d never avoided him.
└ [She ran away because of the Torto family LOL]
‘Ah.’
Thinking back… yeah.
When Duke Valente drew his sword, I saw Count Torto behind him and ran.
Did he misunderstand that as fearing the duke and his knights?
“No, that time was different… And YOU were the one avoiding ME all the time.”
“Hm.”
The duke didn’t refute that.
He isn’t very talkative, but if your argument is logical, he listens surprisingly well.
└ [This must be where Damian got that trait]
└ [Damian’s dad LOL]
And I did call him over for a reason.
I finally had something I needed to say.
“I don’t dislike staying here. I’ve been helping Lord Damian study, and his teacher said I’ve been a big help.”
“The tutor was hired because someone recommended pre-learning. I don’t intend to leave all of Damian’s education to him. He’ll be entering the Academy anyway.”
└ [Have you SEEN your son study???]
…Okay, I get what he meant.
Once Damian experiences the Academy, he’ll probably learn on his own.
I briefly pictured the “not essential” tutor and moved on.
“And! I asked Grandpa Benjamin, and he agreed to teach Lord Damian swordsmanship.”
The duke looked a little surprised.
But…
“A child doesn’t need to hold a sword so early. The world is no longer like that.”
I had nothing to say to that.
Kids holding swords reminded people of war.
“Do you not want me here?”
“I told you. This isn’t a place for a child to live.”
“The maids take good care of me, Damian is here, there are lots of people… Why can’t a child stay?”
“A child…”
His eyes lowered, heavy with memories.
“A child dies too easily.”
└ [Sudden trauma back-to-back…]
└ [What do you even say to that?]
Fair. Children are fragile—accidents, sickness…
‘And if a child dies inside the duke’s estate, his reputation will get even worse…’
He wasn’t saying it because he disliked kids.
He was saying it because a child’s death would bring trouble. And heartbreak.
I can’t argue with that—my body is a child’s.
└ [The protagonist won’t die!]
└ [Rose’s death count so far: 1. Near-death: 1]
└ [lol]
└ [She dies sometimes but comes back]
That is NOT a reassuring argument…
“If you want to go back, tell the head maid anytime. She’ll arrange a carriage.”
Before I could respond, the duke walked away with long strides.
└ [Is this really his father??? Too cold…]
└ [Rule #1 of childcare: DO NOT send them away]
└ [Time to expect a “search for real parents” arc]
‘But he didn’t seem like he hates children outright…’
I might be imagining it, but it felt more like he keeps his distance out of fear of something happening.
If that’s the case…
What if a child he doesn’t feel uncomfortable with steps forward?
The next day, during morning lessons, I casually approached Damian.
“Lord Damian, I’ve been thinking… You’ll only become the Knight Commander when you’re much older, right?”
“Right. Father is still the Captain of the Valente Order.”
“Then… it’ll be hard for me to keep living here…”
The tutor prepping the lesson seemed to overhear and turned toward me.
“Miss Rose. You weren’t originally living here?”
“No. I was only allowed to stay temporarily. If the duke says I must leave, I have to return to the orphanage…”
The textbook slipped from the tutor’s hands and hit the floor with a thud.
