TBAH 04

Her and the Beast – Chapter : 04

As they changed into soft cotton pajamas, Kanna and Astina remained silent.

Astina brought a pillow from her own bedroom, and Kanna lifted the blanket to make room for her.

One of their roommates, Hansel, heard the news a little late and lingered by the doorway for a moment. Perhaps out of consideration for the sisters, he soon turned and left.

For the first time in a long while, the sisters lay together in the same bed. It was the first time they had done so since Astina had reached double digits in age.

Astina stared intently at her older sister, who was lying with her back turned. Her slender nape was pale. It looked as though it might snap with the slightest pressure.

Astina quietly broke the silence.

“Kanna.”

“……What?”

“Thank you for keeping what happened with Hissen a secret.”

So it really wasn’t a dream.

Kanna thought to herself.

She had been so young back then, and the whole thing had been so absurd that she had been confused about whether it had actually happened. But now, she finally had confirmation.

Kanna sniffed briefly. She was actually grateful that Astina had brought up a completely different topic.

Kanna replied in a slightly haughty tone.

“Even if I had told someone, nobody would have believed me anyway.”

“Is that so?”

“How did things end up that way with Hissen?”

“I got caught trying to steal his sword.”

Kanna burst out laughing. She imagined little Astina dragging a huge sword along as she tried to run away with it.

“You learned swordsmanship from the very person whose sword you tried to steal?”

“I kept insisting that he give me a practice sword, so he handed me a wooden one. He even boasted that he would hand over his own sword if I managed to hit him even once. So I beat him up to my heart’s content.”

Astina answered indifferently.

Kanna giggled and turned toward Astina. The sisters faced each other and laughed quietly.

“So that’s why Hissen spent so much time drowning himself in alcohol around that time, saying he had lost his family heirloom?”

“I teased him for a while and then returned it later.”

After being thoroughly beaten by Astina, Hissen became extremely interested in her.

He was utterly fascinated and bombarded her with questions, asking where she had learned swordsmanship and who had taught her.

Astina had no choice but to use the vast library she had relied on during her childhood as an excuse. She even added the ridiculous explanation that she had read several swordsmanship manuals there and, being such a genius, had understood them immediately.

The innocent Hissen believed every word.

‘Impossible…… My Lady, this is unbelievable. You’re a genius. You must receive proper training.’

After hearing her explanation, Hissen became filled with unnecessary excitement. His sense of responsibility as a knight kicked in, convincing him that he couldn’t allow such a genius to go without proper instruction.

In the end, Hissen began interfering with Astina’s training, claiming that he would correct her posture and technique. Astina went along with it, intending to humor him.

However, Astina’s patience didn’t even last an hour. The sword he swung around while supposedly teaching her was unbearably terrible.

‘My Lady, look. This is how you should hold a sword.’

At Hissen’s instruction, Astina’s expression soured immediately. Naturally, the roles of master and student were reversed soon afterward.

In exchange for keeping their training sessions a secret, Astina taught Hissen how to use a sword.

When Astina was about to leave for the academy, Hissen burst into tears, lamenting over who would spar with him now.

‘My Lady, please don’t go! Sob, sob! I can’t live without you!’

‘You should refrain from saying things that might cause misunderstandings if someone overhears.’

‘You’ll graduate early, won’t you?’

‘I’ll stay for the full seven years.’

‘……Are you going to the Department of Swordsmanship?’

‘Don’t be ridiculous.’

Astina returned the sword that Hissen had been using so conveniently all this time.

He had only just begun celebrating the recovery of his family heirloom when Astina’s answer left his face twisted with confusion.

‘My major is Politics.’

Kanna was delighted when Astina followed her into the Department of Politics.

By then, she had already acknowledged Astina’s genius and had built up her own self-esteem accordingly. In other words, she no longer locked herself in her room after being shocked by her younger sister’s extraordinary learning abilities.

After all, Kanna had been only eight years old when she and Astina attended etiquette lessons together.

They conversed in somewhat halting sentences. Since the night was incredibly dark and quiet, their conversation continued endlessly.

With sleepy voices, the sisters talked endlessly about their memories. Some were trivial, while others held deep meaning.

When Astina noticed that Kanna’s voice was gradually fading, she tucked the blanket around her.

“Go to sleep now. You have to wake up early tomorrow.”

At Astina’s words, Kanna closed her mouth and simply nodded.

The County of Lete was a full day’s journey from the capital. Traveling from the County of Lete to the Grand Duchy of Atalenta took four days.

The newlywed bride had only two days to spend with her family.

Soon, Kanna’s breathing grew deep and peaceful.

Astina’s closed eyes quietly opened. She waved her hand in front of her older sister’s face to make sure she was completely asleep.

A moment later, her bare feet slipped down from the bed.

Astina returned to her room and packed a few belongings. She gathered a thick outer garment to wear at night, money, jewelry, and other valuables before leaving the dormitory.

The academy was quiet in the early hours of dawn. As she walked through the empty corridors, she thought about her conversation with Hissen.

Looks like I won’t be able to complete all seven years.

Astina’s original plan had been to live an ordinary life, making it as similar to everyone else’s as possible. It was a rather insignificant goal for a child prodigy.

The problem was that Astina was hardly an ordinary child prodigy.

The gypsies dancing and performing joyfully, their heads soon fleeing in terror, the death of her mother. Revenge, the glory of power, immense wealth, love…… and betrayal.

Astina had known all of it since the moment she was born.

She had experienced every emotion of the beautiful red-haired woman as though they were her own. Every memory was as vivid as if it had happened yesterday.

A newborn baby had screamed as though being torn apart by the terror of a bloody war. At one year old, she had grown accustomed to seeing people’s severed heads. By the age of two, she remembered the intimate affairs that took place in bedrooms.

Astina had fully become aware of her own identity around the age of three. Before that, her senses and memories had been so hazy that she hadn’t even understood what she was.

As she listened to her wet nurse sing a lullaby about Empress Martina’s founding of the empire, Astina couldn’t help but scoff.

Why?

Why had she been reborn?

If being granted another life over and over again was simply the natural fate of all humanity, as everyone wished, then why was she the only one who could remember her previous life?

She had searched for the truth in her own way, but no answers had ever come.

As soon as she learned to walk, she rummaged through every book in the house. She wanted to know what had happened after she—Martina—died.

However, far too much time had passed for her to uncover anything meaningful now. Nearly a hundred years had already gone by since Martina’s death.

It was a heartbreaking realization. Everyone she had once known was dead, and there was no one with whom she could share the suffocating feelings in her heart.

Still, she found comfort in the thought that perhaps everyone had been granted another life, just like her.

Could he have been reborn, too?

Astina thought of someone, only to immediately recoil in shock.

She roughly shut the history book she had been holding and fled from her memories.

That night, that dream—Astina felt an unbearable grief at the memory of a warm hand gently caressing her stomach.

Martina’s life belongs to Martina.

Astina let out a silent scream and buried her face in the bedcovers. The sound of the wind blowing through the window was louder than her soundless sobs.

Biting her chapped lips, Astina murmured with determination.

And I am Astina.

And so, she stopped mourning the people of her past.

When she was young, she couldn’t bear the frustration and deliberately showed off her intelligence. But that wasn’t something Astina, who could no longer remember herself as Martina, should have been doing.

Astina decided to live the life that had originally been meant for ‘Astina’ to the fullest.

Just as Martina had devoted herself to living Martina’s own life.

“But this time is an exception.”

Astina murmured.

In her previous life, she had experienced every kind of misery imaginable.

She had lost her parents unjustly, been betrayed by the person she loved, and lived constantly under the threat of war.

She knew better than anyone that Kanna’s situation was neither unique nor particularly unusual. Astina had witnessed firsthand how women treated as property were used and discarded.

Hadn’t she herself even shared a bed with the very enemy who had killed her mother?

However, if her life were threatened, Astina was confident that she could cut down the Grand Duke and escape the mansion without anyone knowing.

She might not be able to continue living under her previous identity, but wandering from place to place was nothing new to Martina, who had grown up among gypsies during her childhood.

If someone had to disappear from the County of Lete, it shouldn’t be Kanna, who had spent her entire life living as a noble lady.

It should be Astina, who knew how to survive on her own.

Astina took a horse from the stable.

The stable keeper would probably be beside himself with worry over the theft when he arrived in the morning, but she could compensate him afterward.

Astina saddled the horse and securely tied her small bag to it.

She pushed off the ground and mounted in one swift movement. When she pulled the reins, the horse let out a soft whinny.

Astina hurried toward the main gate. Once she left the academy, she would have to ride without stopping.

As she gradually increased her speed, Astina furrowed her brows.

Someone was standing at the main gate with their arms spread wide.

It wasn’t a guard. Their build was far too small and delicate.

Astina recognized the person’s frame before even seeing their face.

It was Kanna.

Astina brought the horse to a halt. Kanna hurried toward her.

“Astina!”

“Weren’t you asleep?”

Astina was a little surprised that her older sister would actually go to such lengths to deceive her.

Kanna’s cheeks were cold from the chilly dawn air. She stammered as she asked,

“You…… What are you doing? Where on earth are you going?”

There was no point in lying after being caught sneaking away in the middle of the night.

Rather than inventing some elaborate excuse for her actions, Astina answered briefly.

“I’ll go.”

Although she hadn’t mentioned the destination, Kanna understood exactly what Astina meant.

“Have you gone mad?”

Kanna clenched her fists, her face turning pale. Astina calmly shook her head.

“I won’t die. You know that I can use a sword, don’t you?”

“Your opponent is a monster! He’s not human. He’s a monster!”

“Then I suppose I can cut him down without feeling any guilt. I don’t want to kill any more people.”

Astina spoke coldly.

I don’t want to kill any more people.

What on earth did she mean by that?

It sounded as though she had killed people before.

Astina’s expression was far too grim for it to be a joke. Kanna called her younger sister’s name in a trembling voice.

“Astina……?”

Astina didn’t answer. However, a determined expression soon appeared on Kanna’s face.

Kanna examined the horse Astina was riding. After spotting the luggage, she quickly grabbed the reins, seemingly to prevent Astina from suddenly riding away.

“Let’s go together.”

“Kanna.”

Astina gently tried to stop her older sister. But before she could say anything to dissuade her, Kanna shook her head firmly.

“Let’s go home first and talk about it. Even if I were the one going, you wouldn’t have let me go alone, would you?”

Astina let out a short sigh. There was no reason to play along with such an obvious intention.

“Don’t come.”

“Still, let’s go together. At least we can go home together, can’t we?”

“Don’t come, Kanna. I’ll lose my resolve. You can come only if you’re certain you won’t say something like, ‘I should be the one to go,’ after all.”

Kanna’s face stiffened.

“I have to go, Astina.”

“That’s exactly why you can’t. If you follow me, I’ll die cursing you.”

Kanna’s eyes widened in shock.

Taking advantage of the brief opening in her older sister’s defenses, Astina shoved her away without hesitation.

Kanna had one foot in the stirrup. As a result, she immediately lost her balance and fell backward.

Kanna landed hard on her backside and looked up at Astina in bewilderment.

Astina lifted the reins. Without the slightest hesitation, she set the horse in motion.

“Astina!”

Kanna called out to her younger sister while sitting helplessly on the ground.

Her legs had gone weak, and she couldn’t stand up. Her mind was spinning with countless thoughts.

Feeling around on the ground with trembling hands, Kanna finally managed to gather her thoughts about what she needed to do.

First, she should wake the steward and have a carriage prepared. Astina was skilled at riding horses, so even if Kanna couldn’t catch up immediately, she could still reach the mansion while Astina was staying there.

Then, she would chase after her younger sister and……

Good heavens.

Kanna covered her mouth with both hands.

Never before had she felt so painfully aware of her own cowardice.

She…… didn’t want to die.

She wanted to believe her younger sister when she said she was confident she would be safe.

But Kanna simply didn’t have the courage to chase Astina all the way to the mansion and willingly rush headlong toward death.

Kanna remembered the pain in her badly scraped knees.

It hurt.

Even an injury this small hurt so terribly.

Instead of getting back up, she buried her face in both hands.