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~Chapter 01~
There’s a novel I once read that I didn’t enjoy.
Its title was The King of the Heavenly Pillars (천주지왕).
It was a martial arts novel.
I’m not usually one for martial arts novels—or even epic dramas—so how did I even end up reading one?
Because I got hooked by a “free chapter = 200 cash instantly!” event.
At the time, I was reading an 18+ romance fantasy webtoon. Just as the hot first night between the male and female lead was about to happen, I was suddenly 200 cash short.
“Ah, what do I do now?”
I had rental cash, but it was the first night. A chapter meant to be owned and savored.
However, I’d recently cut down on part-time work and had to tighten my living expenses. I wondered if I should just rent it for now and buy it later. Then I saw this event.
“I can’t resist this.”
Driven by the single-minded desire to snatch up the first night scene, I clicked open the first chapter.
“Uh.”
When I came to my senses…
“Is this it?”
I ended up staying up all night…
“What kind of novel is this?!”
The story itself was simple.
The protagonist, who lived in the countryside with his widowed mother, gets caught up in events of the martial world one day, acquires various fateful opportunities, and becomes the strongest person under heaven.
It was a typical plot, but it was entertaining.
Even though the protagonist had a dull personality that didn’t fit modern trends, he couldn’t stand injustice. Watching this righteous man gain power and steadily assert his beliefs was exhilarating.
If the protagonist had safely become the strongest under heaven, The King of the Heavenly Pillars could have been my life-changing novel.
“Nope.”
But that didn’t happen. Why?
“Wait, the heroine again?”
Because there were just too many heroines!
“How many is this now?”
Technically, having many heroines wouldn’t be a problem. I’ve seen male-targeted harem stories before. Even if there are twenty rather than ten heroines, it’s okay.
But the problem was that the protagonist fell in love with every heroine at the drop of a hat.
“He gazed at the woman before him as if enchanted. Her fair skin glowed in the moonlight, her delicate waist looked as though it could be held in one hand, and the faint scent of a virgin in the soft breeze made his body feel hot.
‘Ah, if only I could spend my life with her…’”
Maybe because he’d never seen a woman other than his mother in the countryside, the protagonist loses his mind at the sight of any pretty woman. And if their eyes meet? He falls in love instantly.
By the twenty—no, twenty-fifth—heart-fluttering heroine, I was at a loss for words.
“Again, you want to spend your life with her? Again?”
Hey, you idiot. Weren’t you completely smitten with another noble’s daughter just yesterday? You confessed your undying devotion, even got a token of love, and now… you want to spend your life with another woman?
Is love just a joke to you?!
‘I guess it is a joke.’
And it was a joke: ten women had received the promise of a lifetime from him.
Who could handle such a man?
“Yes, that’s right. I did it.”
If it were a harem story, fine—make all the heroines airheads and live happily ever after.
But the heroines were sane, and they couldn’t stand the constantly changing male lead. Yet, unable to let him go, their jealousy drove them to extremes.
“W-why are you…!”
“Why? Didn’t I tell you before? If you look at another woman’s face even once more, I’ll ruin her face. You agreed, didn’t you?”
All sorts of incidents occurred. They stabbed others with swords, poisoned them and threw them into the sea, buried them alive, framed families for massacre…
“Is this a martial arts novel or some imperial conspiracy drama?”
Eventually, even the heroines’ parents got involved. Unable to watch their beloved daughters fall into lovesickness, they kidnapped the protagonist.
“Decide within three counts. Will you marry my daughter, or will you be castrated and become neither man nor woman?!”
Naturally, I rooted for the parents.
“Yes, cut him down! Get rid of that useless thing!”
But he was the protagonist. No matter the crisis, some miraculous coincidence saved him. Having barely escaped, he tore the heroines’ parents limb from limb. Later, the heroine, knowing this, killed herself out of guilt.
I couldn’t help sighing at the carnage.
“Ugh, the ones who should die don’t…”
Whether fortunate or not, the protagonist seemed to have learned something.
‘I truly loved you. I want to follow you…’ he said insincerely, sobbing in front of the dead heroine’s grave, suddenly reflecting and resolving.
‘A true man does not blame others! This is all my fault. My indecisiveness caused this disaster. If I stay as I am, I will only hurt more people… I must make up my mind!’
“Really?”
I was secretly surprised. The guy who lost his mind at every woman was finally thinking rationally. Maybe he’d return to his earlier, just and righteous self.
And indeed, after that day, the protagonist disappeared for a while. He retreated to a remote mountain valley to meditate quietly and reflect on his heart.
After long contemplation, he thought:
‘I have met so many people. Some were fleeting encounters, some were deep connections.’
“Yeah, you’ve met quite a few.”
‘But not a single one was unattractive. Some were coyly charming, some mischievously so. Each one is different, yet all are utterly lovable…’
“Look at this guy.”
‘How can I choose just one among such lovely people? None have treated me poorly; all were sincere. How could I ever betray even one? If they were to leave me disappointed… and I could never see them again…!’
Then suddenly, he shouted:
“Yes, I truly love them all—!”
I shouted along.
“Hey, you ×××!”
When I saw him thinking, “I’ll honestly tell them my feelings and love them all fairly. Then everyone will get along without fighting, right?”, I almost had a heart attack.
Instinctively, I clicked the next chapter, desperate to see him ripped apart by the villain.
But there was no next chapter.
Upon checking, the novel had been on hiatus for three years!
“This damn novel!”
I huffed and immediately opened a notepad.
Half-crazed, I wrote over twenty lines of curses about the novel and its protagonist… then suddenly hit a wall of reality and threw my phone.
Thinking about this filthy novel taking up space on my bookshelf made me furious again. I picked up my phone and deleted everything from downloads to purchase history.
Finally, looking at my clean bookshelf, I laughed in relief.
“Yes! Martial arts novels, my foot. Time to watch something naughty and forget it.”
So I spent my remaining cash on the 18+ webtoon, enjoyed the first night, and erased The King of the Heavenly Pillars from my mind…
“Eh?”
And then I transmigrated into that damn The King of the Heavenly Pillars.
As the protagonist who’s an idiot? No.
As one of the many heroines manipulated by him? No.
As some unheard-of extra.
Goddammit.
