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Chapter : 29
As if wanting to give it all up.
“From now on, these are the shadows who will attend Her Majesty the Empress. Wherever Your Majesty goes, all of them will accompany you.”
They were intelligence officers from the Intelligence Bureau. In her previous life, they had been the blades Benjamin wielded personally; now they had transferred their allegiance and taken their place beside Charloph.
You’ve handed me blades that are far too sharp.
They wore dark navy uniforms. The only insignia was a crescent moon engraved on their shoulders—the moon symbolized the Empress of the Empire, marking them as直属 attendants of the Empress.
“They have no presence. They are assigned to close protection, but they do not show themselves openly, so please keep that in mind.”
That was also why they were called shadows—because they left no trace.
“So these people will be attached to me.”
Charloph tapped her chin lightly.
They’re the ones who became the Crown Prince’s blades and purged the Central Elders and key ministers…
They were utterly reliable to entrust one’s back to—and utterly chilling as well.
“Ah…”
Charloph began to walk slowly.
“I was worried it might feel awkward since I don’t know anyone.”
Her slow steps stopped at one point.
“But there’s at least one familiar face among them.”
Katharina was mixed in with the group.
“Did your family send you?”
“No. It was my own choice.”
Katharina bowed reverently.
“I was assigned here thanks to Your Majesty’s consideration.”
They had once stood beside Benjamin in a former life, but now they guarded Charloph.
“The weather’s nice. I think I’ll take a walk.”
“Yes, Your Majesty. I will escort you outside.”
Charloph stepped out. Her steps were heavy, yet light.
There was no other way to describe them.
The motion of her feet was light, but the weight carried by each step was heavy.
The head maid understood when she saw that weight.
His Majesty didn’t bring this person into the imperial palace for nothing.
The head maid offered politely.
“How about taking a look around inside the imperial palace today? Until now, even within the palace, your movements were quite restricted.”
The Emperor’s Palace lay deep within the imperial grounds, an area one could not tread without the Emperor’s permission. Even one designated to become Empress could not freely enter many areas before the marriage.
“The palace grounds are vast. Many people lose their way on their first visit. Even the elderly Central Elders often wander around after getting lost.”
“Then I’d like to walk quietly. Could you minimize the number of people accompanying me?”
The head maid bowed.
“We’ll dismiss the others and follow at a distance with just us.”
One by one, presences receded. Charloph stood still alone, waiting until all traces of them had faded.
If they’re not in my sight, then they don’t exist.
Charloph slowly wandered through the palace. The hem of her dress dragged along the ground.
It had rained a few days ago; the ground was still soggy.
Dew clung to the grass blades, rustling softly in the breeze.
The imperial palace was wide and vast. The buildings were enormous, yet spaced far apart, and inside, too, it was quiet, as though the number of people had dwindled.
Perhaps everyone was holding their breath as a new royal dynasty took root.
It’s too wide.
Charloph half-closed her eyes and looked back the way she had come.
To the west of the palace were portraits of the late former emperor and the empress dowager, and behind them lay the Eternal Rest Palace where the ancestors’ remains were enshrined.
There were also palaces where the empress dowager, imperial consorts, and many princes had resided—but now, most of them stood empty.
“You probably didn’t want to see it like this either.”
And it must have been even more unpleasant to leave it as it was.
“Your traces are everywhere here.”
“Why would you look for my traces here?”
She heard his voice.
The maids’ whispers continued.
“I felt it when His Majesty threatened not to take concubines, but you can really feel the Emperor’s favor.”
“…Everything about her is quiet—her walk, her gaze, her gestures—yet she draws the eye.”
The head maid cleared her throat softly.
Be quiet.
At this distance, there was no way His Majesty couldn’t hear.
“I warned you that silence is golden for those below. Who is wagging their tongue so freely, despite my warning that their tongue might be cut out?”
The maids stopped whispering. Though they knew they must not look freely, their gazes still followed that retreating figure.
“An eyelash got into your eye. Doesn’t it sting?”
Charloph rubbed her eye with the back of her hand as she replied.
“I didn’t want to show it in front of them, so I left it.”
“You’re stubborn in unexpected ways. Don’t blink.”
Benjamin cupped Charloph’s cheek with his palm. Her cheek, chilled by the cold wind, slowly paled.
No—her skin had always been pale. Her white skin was so thin and translucent that veins showed through.
“Ah!”
When Charloph let out a small groan, Benjamin laughed softly.
“I got the eyelash out. Did it hurt?”
“No. I’m fine.”
“Your eyes are sensitive, Charl. You look like you might cry any moment.”
He brushed her eyelid with his thumb and wiped away the moisture gathering at the corners.
“I feel like I’ve become a villain without even doing anything. You make me that way.”
When Charloph lifted her head, Benjamin fell silent.
“Where were you coming from?”
“I was on my way back from the archives, checking on books lost during the former emperor’s reign. The archivists are dropping like flies. Many books were burned, and cultural artifacts were lost as well—it’s taking time to identify everything.”
Benjamin clicked his tongue in displeasure. Even a country on the brink of ruin was still a country. While filthy creatures fought over their own interests, Benjamin had to maintain order by personally purging them.
“Tsk. Digging out the few useful ones from a pile of useless trash—and somehow they managed to keep this country alive with people like that.”
He finished speaking and tilted his head.
“My family is supposed to visit this afternoon, but you don’t look particularly happy.”
“I am happy. How could I not be, when they care so much?”
Charloph leaned her neck back slightly.
“You’re looking at them as if I might devour them.”
“….”
“Even I would be hurt if you make that face. Lately, you especially look like you want to run away—but only in front of me.”
You hide it well in front of others, but only in front of me you can’t. I don’t know what you’re hiding, but there are moments when you become careless like this.
As if wanting to give it all up.
If someone poked you, something might spill out.
“What of mine provoked you?”
“….”
“Charl. Charloph.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
“Relax your expression. In the imperial palace, you mustn’t show signs of agitation.”
Benjamin was sensitive to even the smallest changes in people’s expressions.
“I told you—those small changes create gaps.”
A solid wall must not allow even the slightest crack.
“You’re worrying unnecessarily.”
“Then that’s a relief.”
“Please set that worry aside.”
“I react to everything about you. Don’t forget that.”
Soon, the chief attendant approached with a troubled look.
“Your Majesty. Someone from the Intelligence Bureau has arrived. You’ll need to go to your office.”
“Ah… I’ll come back later. Don’t stay outside too long.”
With that, Benjamin left. Charloph stood there blankly, watching his retreating figure. As he grew farther away, she found it strangely hard to tear her gaze from his back.
“We should also—”
She was just about to add more when—
“Y-Your Majesty, someone from the Windsor family has arrived.”
A presence approached from afar.
That’s how it always is.
Cracks open without warning.
“If someone who has just been married wears such a dark expression, what do you think that does to the hearts of the family watching?”
Leandro spoke as he set down his teacup. His movements carried refined elegance—clear and pure, like tea water filtered of all impurities.
“I understand that one’s body and mind can be weary after marriage. But you mustn’t remain trapped in that feeling for long. Those below are sensitive to everything about those above.”
The flower petals floating in the tea trembled, as if caught in waves. Charloph carefully smoothed her expression.
“You came early.”
“Ah, I woke up early this morning. It’s been particularly cold these past few days. The servants have been busy checking the heating at the estate.”
Snowflakes drifted down. The year was nearing its end. In the harsh edge of winter, the warmth in one’s hands faded quickly. The head maid draped a shawl over her shoulders; snowflakes that touched it melted and seeped in.
It feels… different from before.
Where did this feeling come from? It wasn’t vague—it was a sense of dissonance that seeped in slowly, very slowly.
“What about Uncle Cesar?”
“He’s gone down to the family territory. Since the young duke had been managing it himself, but there’s been a long vacancy in administration for the past five years.”
“Ah, so he’s overseeing the territory.”
“He said he’d send carrier pigeons often, so I’ll let you know when news arrives. As you already know from staying there, Windsor is a quiet domain.”
It meant there was nothing to worry about. His polite words were warm—certainly warm, and yet…
There’s a distance that wasn’t there before.
As she grew accustomed to their warmth, she had also grown numb to a quiet life.
“That’s how high status works. Those who were once close grow distant, and those who were distant grow close. If Your Majesty’s birth mother were still alive, she might have shown complex feelings about this marriage.”
“Yes. Mother probably wouldn’t have been happy either.”
“If it were Cosette… yes. That child would have been like that. And because she was that kind of person, she would still have supported Your Majesty’s marriage. Steady your complicated feelings.”
The words that followed were firm, as if he were placing a sharply honed blade into Charloph’s hand.
“With the hierarchy among the lower ranks having collapsed, discipline in the imperial palace must stand firm. Even if demons bare their fangs in their struggle, even if Your Majesty drives a blade into their necks… please do not stray from the center. Hold your position.”
She understood what he meant. Her grandfather was telling her to grow accustomed to all of this.
“The Tutyer family will soon send maids. They are brutes—mad brutes. When mad brutes have nothing to lose, they become feral dogs. Tighten the leash firmly and press them down. That is the beginning.”
Leandro showed her how to restrain the Tutyers.
“The imperial family is justification itself. If the palace loses its center, the hierarchy will collapse like a tower of paper. Build that justification first. Then cut off heads—or put on leashes.”
Before a lost blade gouges your hand, set its direction. Do not take them lightly. If you’re swept along by the strength in that grip, you’ll lose yourself.
“Do not forget.”
Leandro trailed off.
“Where it is that Your Majesty stands.”
