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Chapter : 21
Survive Like That.
“Hold your breath.”
Mother whispered softly.
“Charle. You have to hide yourself. Hide and hide again.”
“From whom?”
“From your father.”
“Why?”
“Because that man… he will take you away.”
Her words kept breaking off. It felt like I had heard something more, but it was so long ago that my memory was hazy.
“Even if it hurts, hold your breath. Kill your voice, too.”
“…Mom?”
“Survive like that.”
It was a strange thing to say to a young daughter.
A father who was often away from home.
And a mother who stayed by my side until her death, saying she would protect me from that father.
“Then what about you, Mom?”
That answer never came.
“Miss!”
Becky called out to Charlophe as if screaming.
“…My neck.”
“Yes.”
“Please lower your arm from your neck.”
Charlophe blinked. It felt like she had just had an unpleasant dream, but she couldn’t remember it.
“Are you all right?”
Becky wrapped a handkerchief around Charlophe’s neck. Only then did she feel a stinging pain. In the mirror, clear scratch marks like claw marks stood out.
“What were you thinking about? I kept calling you, but you didn’t even hear me.”
“…Why?”
“You were scratching your neck with your nails. What if it leaves a scar? Please wait. I’ll bring some ointment.”
Her mind felt blank. Why had she scratched her neck?
“It’s fine. It’s fine, so please be quiet.”
“Our young lady… you’ve been acting very strange lately.”
Becky generously applied the ointment, stamping her feet in frustration.
“I—I’ll go inform the master for a moment.”
Summoned, Leandro came to the bedroom. Aster followed behind him.
Leandro looked down at Charlophe and motioned for Aster to step outside.
“Father, I think…”
Aster seemed to think the same and closed the door behind them.
“Send word to the territory. We’re sending the child down.”
They had only just begun to adjust to each other, but now it seemed more important to separate that child from her biological father.
The gates of the imperial palace opened in secrecy.
The imperial physician hurried forward, his steps trembling. Attendants whispered and cleared the way.
“Guide him inside quickly.”
The chief attendant opened the doors to the audience chamber.
“Is he conscious?”
“He is not.”
The physician knew better than anyone that the emperor’s condition was worsening.
The emperor slept more and more, and on days he did not sleep, he suffered fits of madness.
“Your Majesty. This is the imperial physician. I am entering.”
Even if there was no response, it was proper to announce oneself.
The physician laid the convulsing emperor down and quickly burned medicinal herbs.
They were herbs meant to loosen and dull consciousness, calming the patient with their distinctive smoke.
“Tsk. Since when has it been like this?”
“Not long. The inside was noisy, so we opened the door and…”
Though weak, his breathing continued.
“His Majesty has reached his limit now.”
After that, the emperor never regained consciousness.
Someone hurried across Windsor’s front gate.
A black horse came to a stop in a cloud of dust, and the rider leapt down.
“Where is His Grace?”
“He is waiting inside the mansion. Please come in.”
The butler quickly took hold of the reins.
The mansion doors were flung open in haste, and servants cleared the way.
Tension showed on their stiff faces. The butler swallowed dryly.
He could guess why the man had come all this way.
“You’ve come.”
Leandro had already come out to his office, waiting for him.
“So in the end…”
Long white hair fell loose as Leandro murmured bitterly.
“It’s time His Majesty steps down. Bring Charlophe here. And you all, start preparing to send the child back to the territory. She leaves today.”
The emperor had lost consciousness and fallen into a deep sleep.
His death was slowly approaching, and that meant prey would soon be released onto the hunting ground.
Charlophe tapped her forearm lightly with her fingertips. Her maternal grandfather had summoned her.
“Miss, the master is calling for you.”
She steadied her breath before the office door.
“You called for me, Grandfather.”
Leandro, seated at the head of the room, lifted his head. Her two uncles were there as well.
Seeing this, Charlophe roughly guessed the situation.
“You’ll go down to the territory for a while.”
It was Leandro’s order.
“Right away… get yourself out of harm’s way first.”
With his hands clasped behind his back, Leandro looked down at his granddaughter.
A child should be kept close and raised in one’s arms. That feeling had not changed.
Even if she was no longer three years old,
to Leandro, nearing eighty, his granddaughter was still a child no matter what anyone said.
The trace left behind by his dead daughter.
The weight of that child’s existence could never be light to him.
“His Majesty’s condition has been troubling lately.”
“Is he unwell?”
“It seems so. His life appears to be nearing its end. We don’t know how much longer he can hold on. For now, you should hide yourself and watch the situation a little longer.”
The emperor’s lifespan was coming to an end. The turmoil that would follow had long been anticipated.
“Even if you don’t like it—”
“When do I leave?”
Someone sighed. Charlophe shifted her gaze to see who it was.
Aster inhaled sharply, letting out a faint groan.
Her eyes met his.
Somehow…
Yes.
We never intended this, but everything around us seemed determined to tear us apart.
Leandro’s fingertips trembled. He clasped his wrinkled hands together, hiding his agitation.
“Today. Leave today, straight this afternoon.”
So that was how it was decided.
Charlophe stared blankly at her luggage. There was hardly anything she needed to pack herself.
Just a few personal belongings.
The rest would be prepared by the maids.
She leaned against her bedroom window, looking outside, when a voice came from behind. It was Uncle Aster.
“Did you pay your respects to His Highness?”
Charlophe smiled faintly.
“I couldn’t see him.”
“Why not?”
“He seems busy. I’m leaving without seeing him.”
Benjamin’s visit last night was probably because he knew we wouldn’t be able to meet for a while.
“Are you all packed?”
“Yes. The maids took care of the heavy things. There wasn’t much for me to do.”
“It’s being called recuperation in grand terms, but just think of it as a short rest.”
“I understand how you feel, Uncle, so don’t worry.”
This too was her grandfather’s advice—to go down and rest for a few days.
“I don’t want to lose you too, my child.”
Charlophe smiled gently.
“Only now do I realize how powerless I am. I didn’t know I was this powerless.”
I thought I had changed after dying once, but in truth, not much has changed. From now on, I need to change too.
“Even though I came from my father’s hands, this is still my limit for now.”
“Don’t say that.”
“…When I come back, everything will have changed, right?”
“You speak as if you’re leaving for a long time. It’s just for a short while.”
It was only meant to be a few days.
Just to be apart for a moment. But it wouldn’t be just a moment. Sadly.
“Take care.”
“What?”
“Stay healthy.”
Charlophe knew better than anyone that this farewell would be long.
The emperor’s lifespan was ending. The life of an emperor who had been kept barely breathing like a living corpse for a long time was finally running out.
“It will end soon.”
Benjamin, foreseeing the emperor’s end, went to the slums to meet an old friend.
“He doesn’t seem to have much time left. Before dying, he revealed his location himself and asked to see Your Highness.”
“…So he hid in the slums.”
“Shall you go in person?”
Instead of answering, Benjamin gestured somewhere.
“Lead the way.”
The knights headed to a shabby shack. Inside lay an old man with white hair.
“White hair?”
He wore ragged clothes, his hair completely gray, yet he looked only just past fifty.
“Did I come to the wrong place?”
“Please, go inside first.”
Soon, a thin voice came from within.
“…Is that Your Highness?”
Even hoarse, Benjamin recognized the voice.
“So after running all this time, the place you hid was the slums…”
The man suddenly opened his eyes.
“My friend, my teacher, my hands and feet, the man who called himself mine—
is this slum all you could find after stabbing me in the back and hiding?”
Jet-black eyes and hair stood out even in the pitch darkness.
“It’s been over a decade since we last met, yet what a dull reunion this is. They said you hid for nearly twenty years—how did you manage to survive in such a miserable place?”
Once, he had been his knight, his right hand, the one entrusted with his back, like a guardian appointed by his own mother.
Now, he was a fugitive criminal, a traitor, and the executioner who had personally dragged the empress to the scaffold and beheaded her.
“If you were going to become a traitor and stab your lord in the back, you might as well have lived well. Why did you rot here like a beggar? Did you call me here just to show me this pitiful sight?”
Their greeting after nearly twenty years was plain.
“What kind of life did you live?”
“….”
“Was your past life peaceful?”
The man’s jaw trembled as his teeth chattered.
“There was not a single day my heart was at ease. Every day was hell. I learned how fleeting this life is, and how great my sin was in betraying the two of you. I realized my death was near… and perhaps that’s why I wanted to see Your Highness here.”
Benjamin curved his eyes into a smile. It looked gentle, but whether it truly was could not be said. Everything about him was, to begin with, harmful.
“I am a sinner. Ah… death is close, and I have committed an unforgivable crime against you. I will pay for it with my life…”
The man burst into tears as if something had overwhelmed him. His hair was white, his wrinkles deeply etched.
His sallow face looked like that of an old man nearing death. And yet, he was barely over fifty.
“From now on, please listen carefully to my story, Your Highness… Even if you condemn this sinner, please hear me out. Beware of Her Highness the Empress. There is something about her. I could not disobey. I could not go against it.”
Benjamin narrowed his eyes.
“What do you mean?”
“The day I saw Her Highness the Empress… I felt something twist. Please be careful. Please take care of yourself. It is there. Your Highness, remember my words. There is… something there.”
Benjamin took a sword from Roskella.
“Your Majesty the Emperor, please forgive me. I will repay this sin with my life. I always believed that one day you would come to claim this life.”
The man stopped speaking.
“Please, kill me yourself. Please, ease my guilt with your own hand. Even this may be my selfish wish.”
His trembling lips moved.
“Forgiveness… please, forgive this foolish man.”
Cut away the rotten flesh, before it festers further.
Cut away the rotten bone, before it collapses entirely.
“Close your eyes.”
He would not dismiss it as this man’s sin alone.
Incompetence is also a sin. Back then, he had been incompetent—and that was his own sin. The man’s head fell.
“Bury the body and clean this place.”
“Are you all right?”
“…Burn incense. And commemorate his death, even if only briefly.”
Benjamin’s eyes slowly dried out. Like parched earth cracking, his expression split.
“We’ve received word that the young lady has left the capital.”
Dragging the sword tip along the floor, Benjamin stepped forward.
