🔊 TTS Settings
Chapter 40
“…I’m sorry.”
I immediately frowned.
“You? About what?”
“…The wedding.”
Marie moved her lips soundlessly for a moment before answering.
“You invited me, but I couldn’t go. You even gave me a pretty dress…”
“You told me you couldn’t make it.”
My throat tightened, and I swallowed with difficulty.
“You wanted to come, but that woman stopped you?”
Marie hesitated, then nodded.
“I kept thinking about it, and I was going to go… but Lady Neumann said I’d only ruin someone’s wedding, that it would just trouble you. She said you only invited me out of courtesy, not because you meant it…”
“No, Marie.”
I quickly grabbed her hands, shaking my head.
“I meant it. I truly wanted you, as my family, to come to my wedding.”
“…I know.”
Marie answered with a very faint smile.
“She might’ve been right, but… since you even gave me a dress, I thought I’d slip in quietly and come back. But… Lady Neumann told me not to draw any attention…”
“She locked you up? In the closet?”
“…”
“Were you locked in there often?”
Marie didn’t answer—she just gave an embarrassed little smile.
That smile hurt me so much I bit down hard on my lip. My throat tightened until it felt like it might tear.
Don’t cry. Renée wouldn’t cry.
But actually, all of this—everything—
“I’m sorry. I should’ve…”
It was useless. My voice broke as I gently cupped her cheek.
“I should’ve come for you sooner.”
She was still such a small, fragile girl—how much worse must things have been when she was even younger?
As that thought hit me, the tears came nonstop. Marie, startled, ended up trying to comfort me in her calm way.
“I’m fine. Please don’t cry.”
“What do you mean you’re fine? Gods, I’m so upset…”
“But you saved me.”
Marie hesitated before carefully taking my hand. After a brief moment of thought, she beamed brightly.
“Thank you for rescuing me. I was actually really hungry earlier.”
Even in this situation, she worried about me. I looked at her with stinging eyes and gently stroked her hand.
“I’m just glad I wasn’t too late.”
Even if I hadn’t saved her, Marie is the original heroine—she would’ve survived eventually.
But now that I’ve seen her, held her, touched her with my own hands? There’s no way I could leave such a child to fate just because “she’ll manage somehow.”
“Everything will be alright now.”
I looked her in the eyes and made my promise. And I intended to make it true.
***
After putting Marie to sleep, I stepped outside, where Joachim stood with a worried expression.
He flinched when he saw my face, then slowly approached and took out a handkerchief.
“May I?”
I nodded weakly. Joachim gently wiped my cheeks.
The sticky tracks of tears clinging to my skin were wiped away under his careful touch.
“Lady Neumann will have a hard time avoiding severe punishment,” he murmured, eyes still on my face.
“Though execution is unlikely.”
“I don’t want that woman’s death.”
I snapped sharply.
“She’s ten years old, Lord Rommel. A child so small she can’t even reach my chest. And yet that woman fed her sleeping draughts over and over. She knows exactly how dangerous that is.”
“…”
“She deserves to suffer eight years of what Marie endured. In a tiny room with barely any sunlight, eating rotten food, being shoved into a cramped closet and beaten from time to time, and forced to take sleeping medicine at every meal—that would be fair.”
Joachim looked at me quietly. I gave a cold smile.
“What? Do you think I’m being cruel?”
“Not at all. Anyone who commits wrongdoing should face due consequences.”
Joachim shook his head sincerely.
“If you wish it, I will petition His Majesty myself.”
“I’ll do it.”
“Your Highness,” he said immediately, frowning.
“That is not a wise idea.”
“Why?”
My tone was flat.
“You’re afraid His Majesty will dislike me?”
After all, it was Emperor Otto who entrusted Marie to Lady Neumann.
So demanding punishment for her meant I might end up criticizing the Emperor himself. And frankly, I didn’t trust myself not to.
No matter if she is illegitimate, what fault does a child have, that a father can be so cold?
And Joachim seemed to read every bit of that in my expression.
“I should handle it instead—”
“Oh? And that won’t put you in the Emperor’s bad graces?”
“…I am no longer Your Highness’s official consort, but merely a concubine.”
He gave a faint smile.
“His Majesty will feel some pity for me for a while. I intend to take advantage of that.”
“I don’t want you making sacrifices for me. You have no reason to.”
“Sacrifice? Hardly.”
Joachim let out a small, incredulous laugh, though his hand continued gently wiping my cheek.
My face was already clean—there was no need for more—but he lingered anyway, unwilling to let go, and I didn’t have the heart to push him away.
“For those I serve, doing what I can is no sacrifice.”
“I can’t give you what you want, Joachim.”
The depth and nature of his feelings—how far they reached—was unclear to me.
And because of that, I couldn’t promise anything lightly.
“I don’t understand why you want to stay by my side so much.”
Before I could continue, his eyes spoke the answer.
I couldn’t pick it up—only look back at it in silence.
“It’s ironic, but maybe I understand your heart a little. And that’s exactly why—I keep telling you it’s a love that will never be returned.”
At this point, denying it would be rude. Whatever the reason, he has feelings for me—
or rather, for Renée—and they run deep.
Deep enough that it’s baffling he didn’t accept Renée’s proposal immediately… or even propose earlier himself.
“I can’t give you what you want. That’s why I refuse you.”
“And what is it you think I want?”
“What else? Kisses, sweet words—those kinds of things.”
The things lovers normally ask for.
He chuckled softly and shook his head.
“My feelings are not so simple.”
“Then what?”
“I may desire things, but that isn’t the essence. If I can stay at Your Highness’s side as your person, that is enough.”
His eyes were so earnest I couldn’t interrupt.
“Just like this. This alone is enough repayment.”
“You’re satisfied with this relationship?”
Even if he meant it, I couldn’t understand. But Joachim nodded firmly.
“Yes.”
“No one would believe that. I honestly can’t either—”
“Then allow time to prove it.”
Joachim cut in—something he rarely did.
“One year, three years, ten, twenty… Even then, will no one believe it? And even if they don’t, what does it matter? I’m content.”
“Hah.”
So he had no intention of ending this endless, hopeless affection.
Even without sharing a bed with me, even in this half-relationship, he was perfectly satisfied.
I truly couldn’t understand him. And honestly, even if he’s confident now, how long could it last?
“I’m telling you now—if you get tired or your feelings change, I won’t blame you. I won’t mock you or scorn you. In fact, I’ll prepare an extravagant wedding gift for you.”
After all, I didn’t want him to grow old alone, waiting for me forever.
At that, Joachim laughed softly, as though he’d heard something amusing.
“In that case, Your Highness… that gift will have to go into my coffin.”
