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Chapter 54
It was the first time I’d ever received a public confession in front of my family.
Everyone was aghast — except for Keenan, who alone remained expressionless. He spoke calmly.
“But I know I can never have even a fragment of Charlize’s smile. I only wish to eliminate whatever might harm her.”
Please, just stop talking.
Even my father, who had been standing on guard with his sword drawn, was so stunned that he lowered his arm.
“I once killed the Pope for that same reason. It was a mistake, but I did it for Charlize. After suffering for a thousand years, I won’t recklessly take another human life again.”
“The Pope? You killed the Pope? What are you talking about now?”
After all the shocking news that had poured out since last night, my father no longer even looked surprised — only demanded an explanation.
When Keenan finished recounting how he had killed Seth in his previous life, he officially became a complete scoundrel in my father’s eyes.
Some of his suspicions might have eased, but the wariness remained.
From a human’s point of view, it was only natural — Keenan was admitting, quite openly, to being a demon with the nature of a psychopath.
“Don’t come any closer. You may keep painting from afar and deliver information, that’s all.”
After my father left for his duties, I was left with Leandro and Keenan.
“I have something to deliver,” Keenan said.
He took out a small bundle from his cloak — the demonic herb I had requested last time.
I almost jumped up to grab it, but Leandro blocked me.
“Sit down. I’ll get it for you.”
I sighed in frustration. Keenan, unbothered as ever, simply handed the bundle to Leandro and returned to his easel.
He clearly had no intention of harming me — so why did everyone act like this was necessary?
“Here, Charl.”
Leandro handed me the bundle he had taken from Keenan.
I snatched it and glared at him.
I supposed it was progress — once, he wouldn’t have even let me meet Keenan at all — but that didn’t mean I had to like it.
Fine. I’ll let it go for now, since this is urgent.
I opened the bundle. Inside was a small bunch of round, dried leaves, tightly packed together like a flower.
“It’s a herb called Akum. Among demons, it’s used like Rica leaves are for humans. The prince’s medicine is made from this plant.”
Finally — I had it. The damned demonic plant that had made my mother sick, that had addicted her so she could never stop taking it.
“Brother, can you take this to Alfredo right now?”
Leandro hesitated, glancing at Keenan while pretending to admire the herb.
“You know Keenan won’t hurt me. And I’m stronger anyway.”
I shoved the bundle into his hands before he could object further.
“No one else can be trusted with this.”
After a brief hesitation, Leandro tucked it inside his coat.
“I’ll be quick. If that bastard tries anything funny, I’ll roast his crotch with holy power.”
Leaving behind that horrifying remark, Leandro rushed out of the greenhouse.
He, too, was probably excited by the thought that Mother might finally be cured.
And that was when I realized —
Leandro wasn’t wary of Keenan because he was a demon, but because he was a man.
A man who had just confessed his love to me.
“Your family really hasn’t changed, have they?”
I looked at Keenan over the easel.
“You mean, my family were also my family in the past life?”
“I wouldn’t know that. I just mean their way of caring for you feels the same.”
Hmph. I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up.
“Well, who wouldn’t love you anyway? Even a demon falls for you.”
Keenan said it casually as he sketched — and that somehow made me more uncomfortable.
I couldn’t even escape, so my eyes darted everywhere until they finally met his.
“If that makes you uncomfortable, I’ll be careful from now on. It just slipped out.”
“It’s not that it makes me uncomfortable… it’s just that I can’t return your feelings.”
“I know.”
His answer was dry, almost detached.
“…Honestly, my feelings toward you are still confusing. When Elluna cursed you yet spared your life, I think it was because she felt betrayed but still cared for you.”
Keenan’s hand froze in midair.
“But that affection wasn’t love — it was friendship.”
“…For a demon, that’s not enough. But I know if I ask for more, I’ll lose even that — so I hold myself back, every single moment.”
It must have taken him a long time to reach the point where he could say that so calmly.
He might not have repented for a thousand years, but he had suffered.
To be forced to accept punishment without ever truly understanding your own sin — that must have been the worst torment of all.
“If another demon war breaks out, I still won’t be able to kill you. When everything is over, go back to the demon realm.”
“We’ll see.”
“Keenan.”
“First, you have to stop Caius. If you fail, this world will become the demon realm anyway.”
“…”
That utterly unreadable face of his was starting to really annoy me.
“So you mean there’s no need for you to go back — because if I fail, this place becomes home for demons?”
Don’t you dare nod, you jerk.
“Once I get my divine power back, I’ll win. So — have you found out where Calix’s sword is?”
“I’m not certain, but I think it’s in the Crown Prince’s palace.”
Even knowing the location didn’t make things easier — it wasn’t a place outsiders could enter freely.
“Does Caius know about it?”
“He does. But approaching the prince might be the better move. Caius will never allow you to regain your divine power.”
At least it was in human hands, not demonic ones — that was something.
“Once I enter the temple, I won’t be able to leave often. You can’t come in, can you?”
“Not safely. But if it’s urgent, I can — though it might kill me.”
“Can you please stop saying terrifying things like that so casually?”
Keenan chuckled softly.
I stared blankly at him. In his smile, I saw the mischievous boy Keenan from Elluna’s memories overlapping with the man before me.
“When you’re done, call me. I’ll bring the tools. You can give the Akum to the Duke or the young lord.”
For a moment, I wondered if Keenan was taking too many risks because of his lingering feelings from our past lives.
‘I’m not the Elluna he remembers.’
And yet, whenever her memories surfaced, they felt so vividly mine that I couldn’t help but feel affection — and guilt — toward Keenan, Seth, and Calix.
“Won’t Caius find out you’re helping me?”
“He ordered me to stay close to you, so it’s fine. He thinks I despise you, anyway.”
“Do you need anything?”
“Not really. Countess Gren gives me more than enough.”
His tone was indifferent.
When he mentioned Countess Gren, I remembered how she had treated him like her own son the last time I saw them.
“Did you approach her on purpose?”
“Yes.”
“Then now that you’re working with me, are you going to cut ties with her — like a cold-hearted demon should?”
“I’ll probably keep seeing her. I’m still painting for her.”
He said it as if it were nothing.
“Then why don’t you paint her portrait? You take all her patronage but not her commission?”
“I don’t paint humans.”
“I’m human.”
“That’s different. You’re you. And to be fair, I was ordered to use her — but she was the one desperate to sponsor me first.”
If the countess had heard that, she would’ve smacked him across the head on the spot.
“Heartless demon.”
“Don’t worry. I have no intention of harming her.”
“That’s not the kind of worry I meant.”
He was infuriating — but he was a demon, after all.
My futile scolding ended as Leandro returned.
The night before entering the temple.
I had memorized the knights’ patrol schedule and slipped into the shadows, heading for the rear garden.
My destination was the small hole in the wall I used to sneak through when I was known as Sasha.
I grunted, pushing aside the cleverly concealed stone that covered the opening, and slipped out.
Waiting outside was a tall man in a black hooded cloak, who silently extended his hand to me.
I took it, gave a brief nod, and climbed into the carriage parked nearby.
As the carriage started moving, I took off my hood — and so did the man sitting across from me.
