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Chapter 44
“It’s because of me.”
Chase’s eyes gleamed as he broke into a wide smile.
“Right. Because of you. You care about every stray dog on the street, but you treat me so coldly. So what should I do? If I push you to the point of breaking, make you like a puppet with its strings cut—would you finally be quiet before me then?”
Chase meant it. He had been holding himself back every time he wanted to act just as he said.
“Did you… resent me a lot?”
“Resent you?”
Chase seemed displeased by my choice of words.
“You’re doing this because I stopped you, aren’t you?”
“I don’t know which time you’re talking about. You’ve tried to push me away more than once.”
“In our previous lives. When I said I would go alone to destroy the sealed Demon King. You tried to stop me—but I coldly let go of your hand.”
Chase stared down at me without a word.
“That’s why you’re so obsessed with me, right? Because you’re afraid I’ll disappear again.”
I met his eyes as tears streamed down my face. He brushed the corners of my eyes with his fingers.
“You resented me, didn’t you?”
“Yes. You turned your back on me in the end. Do you know how miserable that felt?”
“It was all my fault.”
“If you know that, then bear with me. My love, my obsession—all of it is your doing, for abandoning me.”
Chase took my hand and started walking again.
“Let’s go back for today.”
I followed a step behind, being pulled along.
Tears rolled down my face, washing away all expression, leaving only coldness behind.
Chase had deceived me again.
He was not the hero, Calix.
I hadn’t left him behind when he tried to stop me. It was Chase who had taken up the sword and vanished while Calix slept.
Why hadn’t I doubted him before? How foolish.
Was he a demon?
I wasn’t sure. There were humans who revered demons and black magic. Knowing Chase’s nature, he could have used dark power if it helped achieve his goal.
But one thing was certain—he was evil to me.
He deceived me, poisoned my mother, and kept demons at his side.
Then where was Calix?
If he too had reincarnated like me, who was he now most likely to be?
“Shasha.”
Artif’s voice came from the terrace window, cloaked in shadow beneath a waning moon.
“Were you waiting for me?”
I unlocked the latch, and Artif stepped inside.
We hadn’t made any plans, but after what had happened earlier today, I had expected him to come by night.
“Are you hurt anywhere?”
I asked, looking at his clean, composed face.
“Not at all.”
Artif took off his robe, revealing another lavish outfit beneath.
It was white this time—before, it had been blue.
He could at least wear dark colors when sneaking in at night.
“Is the curse broken?”
“Shasha, you go straight to the point too much. Aren’t you happy to see me?”
He sat casually on the sofa.
“It’s the most important thing right now.”
I sat across from him with a light reply.
“Hmm, I’m not sure yet. To break it completely, I’ll need more holy power.”
Artif’s tone carried a clear, playful intent.
I hadn’t realized he could be this sly—he always acted so serious in public.
“Got it. I’ll keep practicing. Let me know if I start turning into a cat again.”
“…”
“Why?”
“No, nothing. Just… You can use holy power now, can’t you?”
“I think I used it earlier because I was in shock. I tried again after coming home, but it doesn’t work well yet. Better than before, though.”
“Shasha.”
When he called my name softly, I looked up.
“You must be exhausted today.”
He took out a small bottle from his cloak and handed it to me. The seal of the Azdel Church was engraved on it—it was holy water.
“You’ve had a long day. Maybe I shouldn’t have come. Drink this and get some rest. I’ll go.”
Understanding his words, I loosened my tense brow and exhaled deeply.
“I’ve been a little on edge. Sorry. I shouldn’t have shown it.”
“No, I prefer it when you do. It makes it easier to understand. I’m the one who lacked consideration—coming here late after all you’ve been through.”
I looked quietly at his sincere expression and asked,
“I have something I want to ask.”
“Anything.”
“You said you had a dream before. About a man who hid his feelings, lost the woman he loved, and killed himself.”
Hero Calix had rejected Saintess Eluna at first. But he eventually accepted her, and that very night, she left him.
Eluna took half of Calix’s curse upon herself. That curse appeared in me—and in Artif as well.
“Can you tell me exactly what happened in the dream?”
He thought for a moment, then began to speak.
“There wasn’t much to it. The woman had already left, and the man kept searching for her.”
“How did you know he had hidden his feelings?”
“Because he regretted it at every moment. I should’ve told her I loved her first. I shouldn’t have pushed her away. If only I’d been someone she could lean on, she wouldn’t have left me.”
Artif’s voice grew heavier.
“It felt like his heart was being torn apart. He wanted release. No—he wanted to find her, kneel before her, and confess his sins. But even then, he still loved her. And that love itself was his sin.”
“…”
Silence fell.
That calm confession screamed at me to understand it.
“What… did the man look like?”
“Dark navy hair, black eyes. Wore a white knight’s uniform.”
That was him.
My heart pounded violently, and chills ran all over my body.
“Hero Calix.”
I wasn’t the one who spoke the name.
Artif met my eyes, his red lips moving again.
“They’re Calix’s memories.”
“How…”
Waves of shock surged inside me.
Had Artif regained his memories as the hero Calix from our past life?
But his next words shattered that thought.
“The curse that manifested in me—it’s the same one Calix bore. That’s probably why I saw his memories through the dream.”
“I see…”
He didn’t realize that he himself was Calix reincarnated. A normal reaction, perhaps—and maybe he was right.
Still, it felt like I had another problem added to my list.
There were too many things to solve. Finding out whether Artif was truly Calix could wait.
“Why did you suddenly ask about that?”
“No reason. I just got curious.”
Artif gave me a teasing grin.
“Were you reminiscing about that day?”
He was clearly referring to his own almost-confession.
I shot him a glare.
“I hate to say this myself, but I’m an engaged woman.”
His face stiffened immediately. His reaction was so strong it startled me.
“…You really stab a guy right in the heart just for teasing you a little.”
I felt oddly guilty, but he needed to face the reality.
No matter how my engagement had come about, the world would condemn him if anything happened between us—and me as well.
“It’s better to stop wishful thinking before it hurts too much.”
My goal was to break the engagement. But until I found the antidote, I was trapped with Chase.
When Alfredo reduced the dosage of the poison Chase gave, my mother’s condition worsened.
So now we maintained that reduced amount, giving her time to adjust.
The torment of knowingly feeding her poison every day—
“Shasha.”
Artif’s gentle voice broke through my thoughts.
“Don’t worry about anything. I’ll take care of it.”
“…”
It was such a serious—and embarrassingly romantic—thing to say that I couldn’t help but answer playfully.
“But Artif, you’re kind of funny. I don’t know what misunderstanding you’re under, but I’m a sworn single, you know.”
