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chapter 6
Night of Waiting
Mirren walked briskly down the corridor.
In the distance, she saw a man walking alone in the rainy garden.
Was it raining?
The raindrops on the ground reached up to her calves.
For someone lying in a closed room, even the falling rain must have seemed strange.
He might catch a cold.
Yet Mirren disregarded all those concerns and ran toward him.
She was out of breath after only a few steps.
Splash, splash.
Suddenly, Ryan, who had been walking ahead, turned his head.
It seemed he sensed someone following him.
The moment their eyes met, Ryan’s eyes widened in surprise.
“Mirren! In this rain, what are you—!”
Without a roof to shield them, their heads quickly got wet.
Surprised, Ryan used his large hand to offer her umbrella protection.
He seemed flustered, as if he had forgotten that he had gone out in anger.
“It’s cold. Let’s go in for now. Next time… okay? If you collapse again, I’ll break down.”
Yet it was Ryan who was wet.
Unlike Mirren, who had just rushed out of the bedroom, Ryan had been walking in the rainy garden for quite some time.
Still, he worried more about her than himself.
His thick ceremonial robes absorbed the rain and hung heavily.
Watching him, Mirren felt a heaviness settle in her heart, as if she too had soaked up water.
He was not a man who should be standing in the rain so miserably.
And yet… he was.
“…Mirren, what’s wrong? Are you crying?”
“…”
“Mirren, don’t cry. If you cry…”
Ryan approached, but perhaps unable to hold her while being soaked himself, he only extended his hand and then pulled it back.
When Mirren lowered her head, he wiped his hand on his coat—the one that hadn’t gotten wet—and gently patted her shoulder.
That was who he was.
He had never once tried to embrace her selfishly.
He feared that if his clothes got wet, she might catch a cold.
Even a simple cold could be fatal for her, so he could do nothing.
Mirren’s heart ached at this.
Every time, she wanted to tell him that she had another life, that it was okay, that he didn’t need to worry.
Yet in this life she truly owned, she only thought of dying to be free—but she couldn’t even do that because Ryan, who loved her despite this imperfect life, weighed heavily on her conscience.
“…Ryan.”
“Mirren? No, Mirren. Don’t come closer. I’m wet right now…”
“Ryan.”
Mirren, who had been looking down, reached out and grabbed the hem of his coat.
She hadn’t been able to do this on the bed.
Gripping the drenched fabric, she looked up at Ryan.
His eyes, awkward and flustered, scanned her with concern—even though he himself was wet.
She took a step closer, a step that felt impossible without leaning on him.
Mirren wrapped her arms fully around Ryan.
“Ryan.”
“…Mirren, you hugging me first makes me feel like I could fly with happiness. But if we stay like this, you’ll…”
“Shall we… love each other?”
Ryan’s urgent words cut off abruptly.
Mirren finally buried her head in his chest.
She couldn’t summon the courage to look into his eyes.
She was afraid of what kind of gaze he would give her.
“My life probably has less than a full season left.”
“Why would you say that? I’ll save you. Even if you die, I’ll…!”
“Ryan, I know my own life. Even breathing has become difficult when I rise. My life doesn’t have much left.”
Ryan squeezed his eyes shut.
Mirren exhaled shakily in his arms.
Unable to embrace her fully, Ryan eventually raised his hand and gently patted her back.
To breathe, slowly, to continue the shallow breaths.
“Shall we… love each other for that one remaining season?”
“…Mirren.”
“If I die a week from now, let’s love for just this one week.”
If not, then even for today.
Eight years.
It had already been eight years of pretending not to know Ryan’s heart.
Some might call her foolish, wasting the little life she had left.
Yet Mirren knew her own heart better than anyone.
She had always resolved not to love, but she could not stop herself from loving him.
She loved him, which was why she had stubbornly ignored Ryan’s feelings all this time.
“…Your Majesty, since night has fallen, it’s fine for you to leave. Everyone else will close their eyes.”
“Leave? How could I go, leaving my bride behind? I feel ashamed. To be scolded on the wedding night itself.”
The moment her veil was lifted, everyone present sneered.
Her emaciated face, her protruding cheekbones, and her height…
It was a relief that young Ryan wasn’t very tall; otherwise, she would have had to bend to kiss him on the wedding day.
People laughed, saying they didn’t suit each other.
They even said Mirren Edgar didn’t fit Emperor Ryan.
That night, when Ryan entered her room, she told him it was fine for him to leave.
“Mirren, the peach tree has bloomed today. It’s as beautiful as you.”
“You like this soup, right? Maria helped me make it. Hmm, is that mean?”
“Why did you leave the window open? You just recovered from a cold a week ago! You should’ve… had the servants…”
For a month, a year, eight years, she pushed him away.
Yet Ryan persistently sought her out.
Even as time passed and the moments she could see his face grew shorter.
Mirren gradually became confused.
At first, she didn’t trust him; later, she wanted to know why.
But Ryan never spoke; he simply waited.
Was it then that she began waking in time for him to come?
If she truly loved him, she should accept death and let the love end as if it never existed.
So that he would no longer hold regrets.
“Mirren.”
“…Mirren.”
Yet, standing in front of the peach tree, seeing him soaked because of her, she finally broke down.
The walls she had built for him crumbled easily.
She could not endure without holding him.
“Ryan.”
Mirren, in his arms, slowly closed her eyes.
Her time as Mirren Edgar was ending.
Afraid she might fall asleep immediately, she hurriedly spoke.
“Next time… I hope you’re not the emperor.”
“Next life?”
“No… I just hope you aren’t emperor. I… don’t want to be empress either.”
With those words, she closed her eyes.
Breathing so lightly, as if dead, Ryan had to strain to hear her breaths amidst the rain.
Only after confirming she was alive did he hug her tightly.
Very, very carefully.
“This is enough.”
“…”
“Mirren, I’ll be satisfied with this.”
“…Hey.”
“Ian, wake up…”
“Hey, if you don’t get up now, I’ll carry you.”
Mirren’s eyes snapped open.
She bounced up from the bed without realizing it and looked to the side.
There was Hegel lying next to her, looking down at her from the narrow bed.
The bed where Glen had slept the previous night was empty.
Hegel grinned, snuggled close to her.
For the first time having someone sleep in her bed, Mirren stepped back toward the wall in surprise.
“Why are you here?!”
“I don’t know. I woke up and was here.”
“Isn’t that sleepwalking?”
“I don’t sleepwalk!”
Hegel snapped angrily. Mirren frowned even more.
“Then why are you sleeping in my bed? You don’t sleepwalk.”
“Mind your own business. Anyway, who’s Ryan?”
“Huh?”
Hegel casually mentioned Ryan, scratching his ear with his pinky.
Mirren, doubting she heard correctly, asked again.
“Who?”
“Ryan, Ryan. He kept calling that name while sleeping, making noise. Boyfriend? Fiance?”
“No.”
Mirren cut him off firmly.
Luckily, Ryan’s name wasn’t extremely unusual, so he wouldn’t realize immediately—but it was the emperor’s name.
Worried Hegel might notice something, she quickly changed the topic.
“Let’s get up. We need to find Artemis.”
“Changing the subject? Is he your boyfriend? Be honest; I won’t tell anyone.”
“No need for secrets. He’s not my boyfriend. I don’t have one.”
Mirren quickly put on her socks and stood.
Hegel scratched the back of his head and followed her.
Her firm answer left him no room to question further.
After breakfast with her family, Mirren and Hegel left the house.
As yesterday, they intended to head straight into the mountains.
Just as they entered the forest, Hegel asked:
“Are you sure Artemis is on this mountain?”
“Sure. I can feel the flower containing mana.”
“You can feel mana?”
Hegel smiled slyly, radiating a ‘look at me’ vibe. Mirren looked away, feeling she had seen too much.
Ignoring her, Hegel continued:
“All wizards can feel it. Mana exists in any living creature, plant or animal. I’m just more sensitive than others.”
“Does having more mana make you a Grand Wizard?”
“No way. If it were that easy, everyone would be a Grand Wizard.”
Hegel shrugged.
Mirren, uninterested, began picking herbs under an unknown tree.
“Mana is basic, but you need a smart mind.”
“Oh, so that’s why you’re clever?”
“Yes. Genius, prodigy—it’s all for me.”
Mirren muttered quietly:
“Then why can’t someone like him sense the exact location of Artemis?”
“That’s another story. I’m not a dog, I can’t just find a flower by feeling the mana.”
After that, they searched quietly for the flower.
The forest was dense, just as yesterday.
They scoured small streams, valleys, and forest paths, but found nothing.
Eventually, a tired Hegel asked:
“…Hey, Rabbit. The sun’s setting soon.”
“Can’t be helped. We’ll try again tomorrow.”
“Can we really find it this way?”
“Herbs or flowers, are they easy to find?”
Mirren, not a professional herbalist but known locally, sighed.
“If it were easy, it wouldn’t be called a legendary flower.”
That was the truth.
Hegel had nothing to argue with and followed her silently down the mountain.
Suddenly, he stopped.
Mirren looked back, noticing he wasn’t moving.
Hegel stood still, staring at her.
“Artemis blooms at night, right?”
“Specifically, on the night of a full moon.”
“Then let’s look at night. Is today the full moon?”
Mirren hesitated at the unusual suggestion.
“Maybe you can’t see it during the day.”
“No way.”
“Why? Seems reasonable. The sun’s about to set. Let’s wait here until night.”
Mirren frowned.
She had planned to see Ryan early tonight after sending Hegel elsewhere.
Seeing her hesitate, Hegel said:
“The night’s soon. The moon isn’t late tonight.”
“…Then we’ll return before midnight.”
“Alright. But why rush? There’s no danger; after all, I’m a wizard.”
As she turned deeper into the forest, Hegel stuck close again, almost too closely.
Mirren lightly pushed him and continued walking her path.
In the dark forest with only the two of them, their voices whispered back and forth.
A long night of waiting had arrived.
