🔊 TTS Settings
~Chapter 5~
“That, well… waaaaah!”
I let out an even louder wail, refusing to lose ground.
“My—my tears, hic, just—sob, keep coming, hngh…”
Mr. Nose frowned.
No—was my plan falling apart? Panic rose in my throat.
“Wait here. I’ll fetch a handkerchief.”
The priest retreated into his room, and the door clicked shut behind him.
I was alone.
Oh? Did opportunity just fall into my lap like this?
I leaped to my feet and dashed for his desk.
It’s got to be here somewhere—where are you, my divorce papers!
A mountain of documents greeted me. Maybe it was my desperation, but the one I wanted was nowhere in sight. My hands flew faster, my heart pounding.
Hurry, hurry…!
Just then, I heard the priest’s footsteps returning.
No! Why do I only have two eyes? Find it, quick!
The door sounded like it would open any second.
Should I hurry back to my seat? Wait for another chance? When would I ever get another chance?
At that moment, I saw the word “divorce.”
“Found it…!”
“Devotee?”
Gasp.
A long, short silence fell.
Mr. Nose stared at me, standing in an unexpected place. His gaze dropped to the paper clutched in my hands.
His face contorted like a monster about to burst as he realized what it was.
“No!”
The furious priest rushed at me.
I darted toward the lamp on the desk with the paper.
Burn! Burn away my tragic ending!
“Hand it over!”
Mr. Nose was quicker than I’d expected.
Priest, how fast do you run a hundred meters? Seriously, you missed your calling as an athlete…
He slammed me down on the desk with sheer strength. I clutched the document with both hands, wrinkling it in my grip as he pried at my fingers.
“No! I won’t get divorced!”
I howled, but his power was overwhelming.
“Let go!”
How was he this strong? And that speed—just go be an Olympic athlete!
As I was about to lose my grip, the priest suddenly shrieked like a startled hamster.
“Ahh! Fire!”
He pointed at me, squawking, and I patted my lips in confusion. My lips were soft—no beak there.
But then I felt warmth on the back of my head.
No—heat.
“What the—!”
My long hair was ablaze. In the scuffle, the lamp’s flame had caught on my hair while I tried to burn the paper.
“Aaaah! My hair!”
Listless, I dragged myself along, feet heavy.
In the end, the documents had been taken away. My hair, burnt to a crisp, now dangled over my shoulders.
What do I do now… Should I just get on my knees and beg for forgiveness? Maybe if I beg like I did with Mr. Nose, he’ll let it go…
Etienne’s icy stare flashed before my eyes.
No. He’s Mr. Merciless. He’ll never forgive me.
Then… should I just confess?
I actually loved you. That’s why I stole—so I could be close to you, to sense your scent.
Wink!
Damn, that sounds even more unhinged.
Should I just be honest and confess I love his money?
Hey!
Become my lifelong sugar daddy so I’ll never have to steal again!
I’ll cling to you and drain you dry, forever…
No matter how I twisted it, there was no answer. In the end, I opened the door, no closer to a plan.
Inside, Etienne sat exactly as he had two days ago.
Not a speck of dust on his silver hair, not a wrinkle in his immaculate collar. His sharp eyes were as aloof as ever.
Meanwhile, I was a disaster. My clothes filthy, my face gaunt from days of starvation.
And my half-burnt hair—a true work of modern art.
No one could look this bad on purpose.
Etienne started at the sight of me.
What, do I look even worse than you expected?
Yeah, I do. So take back the divorce. Right now.
But he quickly smoothed his face back into calm. His voice was as cold as ice.
“You said you had something to say.”
Not even a flicker of guilt at my miserable state… Heartless bastard.
Guess he’s just shocked at how wretched I am, huh?
Forget it. There’s no way a love confession or pitiful begging would work. I crumpled up every plan I’d been considering.
In these moments, only brute honesty works.
I strode up to him.
While he blinked in surprise, I dropped to my knees right at his feet—and before he could react, clung to his outstretched leg.
“What are you doing? Are you crazy?”
Etienne clutched his waist, as if worried I’d strip his pants off.
With all my desperation, I looked up at him. As our eyes met, his iridescent gaze trembled.
I hoped it wasn’t disgust, but honestly, it was—no matter how you looked at it.
Still, I couldn’t give up.
“I won’t divorce you.”
“What?”
“I won’t get divorced. I can’t.”
His expression twisted in fury. He looked like he was about to kick me away.
No.
I couldn’t let that happen. I hugged his leg with my whole body.
“No! Just kill me! If you’re going to divorce me, stab me right here instead!”
“Someone, get in here! Get this crazy woman off me!”
Etienne shouted at the top of his lungs, and I clung to him like a drowning soul clings to a lifeline.
He tried to shake me off, and my body spun through the air. Humiliating as it was, I didn’t care.
I’d rather be called a lunatic than starve to death again. If clinging to him keeps me from divorce, I’ll be the craziest woman in the kingdom!
I shrieked for all to hear:
“I’ll never get divorced!”
How long did we struggle? Just when I thought I couldn’t hold on any longer, Etienne finally stopped his wild dance, exhausted.
I peeked up at him. He clung tightly to his waistband, face pale with horror.
“Please… Please, I don’t want a divorce.”
He let out a sigh. Is he thinking, What a lunatic has latched onto me?
Yes, that’s right. So you might as well give up, too.
“If you don’t let go of my leg, I’m divorcing you right now.”
I let go, startled.
“So if I let go, you won’t divorce me?”
I looked up at him, hope shining in my eyes. Etienne only ground his teeth in reply.
Like he wanted to smack me.
“Fine. Bring me the thing you stole. Then maybe I’ll reconsider divorce.”
I grinned at his slightly more hopeful answer—then immediately wilted.
I didn’t steal the damn thing. I don’t even know where it is.
“Well… I don’t remember. Where the thing is, I mean…”
Etienne’s brow twitched in annoyance.
God, how can he still look sexy when my life is on the line?
“What do you mean by that?”
“Remember the night I fell off the horse? Anyone else would be paralyzed from the waist down! I was lucky to survive, but… I must’ve hit my head. I just can’t remember anything after that. Really. My mind’s all fuzzy.”
I watched his reaction. No way he’d believe that. No way.
I’d have a better chance selling him on buying life insurance.
But instead, he just stared at me in silence.
I expected him to snarl “That’s it, we’re divorcing!” or draw his sword. But he didn’t. Was he believing me? Was he?
Even if he didn’t buy it, not divorcing me or stabbing me on the spot was a positive sign, right?
I pushed my luck a little further.
“Please give me some time. I haven’t had treatment or even food since then—of course I can’t remember! Look at me! I’ve been hauling rocks, whipped, cleaning horse crap… My hair’s burnt off…! It’s post-traumatic stress disorder!”
Whoops. I got a little too worked up there. This temper of mine…
“Post-traumatic… what?”
“If you don’t know, forget it. Three months. If I can’t remember by then, I’ll agree to the divorce and leave. Or come back here. You can build whatever temple you want then.”
Etienne stood abruptly, clearly fed up.
Have you no patience? A true adult is supposed to be tolerant!
This time I grabbed his sleeve.
“No, please, just a month! One month!”
Etienne’s eyes narrowed.
“I mean it. Trust me, okay? You’ve got nothing to lose—if I remember, you get your stuff back. If not, fine. Maybe if I eat and rest, my memory will come back. Right?”
I took a step closer; he retreated.
Why are you backing away? I’m harmless—just a little leech.
I flashed a wide smile.
From now on, I’m your own obsessive yandere. I’m never letting go.
Like Misery, I closed the distance again. He backed away, only to hit the wall behind him.
His face showed a flicker of panic.
He’s panicking. Yes, panic clouds reason! Just don’t think—just nod your head!
I seized his hand.
“Please, Etienne. I’m begging you.”
My dirty hand was hardly worthy of his pristine fingers, but I couldn’t back down now.
Etienne looked down, pale, as if worried my hands would cling like my legs.
With a slightly crazed smile, I clung all the harder.
“Let go right now!”
He wrenched my hand away.
Ow! This jerk—
