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~Chapter 50~
After a moment, I realized he was smiling.
His bright smile felt almost strange.
“What?”
“I’m happy.”
The saying that you can’t speak ill of a smiling face seemed true. I couldn’t say no.
“But don’t stay out too long. Your face is pale.”
I had no way to know how I looked.
Just feeling relieved that he didn’t see me as someone trying to run away was enough.
“…Yes.”
I answered meekly, like a gentle lamb.
After returning to the room with Armin’s escort, I explained how I ended up in the garden.
Since the butler was a clear witness, I thought it best to deny his misunderstanding quickly.
“I see. You felt stuffy inside…”
Armin didn’t get angry.
“I understand. Bella didn’t like to stay still indoors.”
“Really?”
“Bella used to come down every day to spend time where I was. Even though my place and Bella’s room were quite far apart. On days she didn’t see me, she wandered around the mansion.”
That was the most truthful of his fabrications so far.
“It’s surprising. That means some of my past actions still remain inside.”
Though awkward, I felt the need to use it.
“So, may I take a walk outside at least once a day? No need to go far. Just around the garden like earlier.”
This was bait. Even if I wasn’t in my room, Armin would think I was in the garden, so he wouldn’t search for me.
The garden was large enough so he wouldn’t be suspicious if he didn’t see me right away.
“If so… how about walking in the garden with me?”
“What?”
“I can’t feel at ease leaving Bella alone in the garden. Like just now, if I weren’t here, you could have collapsed from heatstroke.”
“No…”
I’m not that weak. I’ve run a shop on my own before…
But watching Armin’s expression, other words came out.
“The butler is here… and Your Highness giving me time every day might be difficult?”
This walk is to find an escape route. I can’t go out dragging Armin along.
But I couldn’t say that bluntly.
I kept watching him as I spoke, fearing he’d see through me.
“Did you say that because you worry about me?”
“Uh, yes? You’re busy. I don’t want to waste your time on my walks. If you have free time, it’s better to rest. You look tired.”
Armin listened to my long, rambling words.
‘Did he smile?’
He looked happier than when he thought I had come to greet him earlier.
“I’m glad Bella thinks of me… but it’s no trouble to make time.”
He met my eyes for a moment.
“Because I like Bella.”
He whispered this.
“So, what’s your answer?”
He looked at me expectantly.
Not choosing to raise his suspicion, and removing refusal as an option, only one answer remained.
“…I will.”
“Let’s go, Bella.”
Exactly 24 hours later, he reached out his hand.
He said there was no outing today, wearing a fancy formal dress fit for a party.
His long fingers were covered perfectly by white gloves. I hesitated to hold them.
If only it would rain today. The weather was even clearer than yesterday. Green leaves shone brighter, and flower buds added beauty.
If only I could forget where I was, I might have enjoyed it.
“Are you uncomfortable anywhere?”
“Not at all.”
I shook my head.
Having Armin as a burden is okay. I couldn’t roam the mansion alone anyway.
“I was just surprised. I heard rumors about Your Highness in Ermel.”
“……”
“So it was unexpected. I didn’t think you would be so kind.”
If he had ears, he must know the rumors about himself.
Especially negative ones.
I was indirectly saying, “Are you really the same person?”
Even people good at social masks blush at such blunt remarks.
“The rumors may be true.”
Armin behaved opposite to my expectation.
“…What?”
“I’m indifferent to others’ deaths and don’t hesitate to kill. I execute strategies where hundreds or thousands die without regret. I see others’ homes destroyed and only think of them as enemies. That’s who I am.”
“No…”
Was that really necessary?
“But I don’t treat everyone the same.”
Armin turned his gaze from the distance to me.
Our palms touched lightly, then fully overlapped, and he interlaced our fingers.
“Because Bella is special.”
Holding only one hand made me feel captured.
Dizzy, I staggered.
Armin pulled my hand. The distance I thought was a step away closed quickly, showing his face clearly.
“I want to look good.”
He was smiling.
“……”
Coming to remove a burden but ending up adding one feels like this.
I got no info on escape routes and my head got tangled with unexpected possibilities.
“Shall we go inside?”
Luckily, since Armin was busy, the walk wasn’t long.
“…Yes.”
-Does he like me?
I excluded the obvious assumption because I thought it was impossible.
‘There’s no reason.’
Armin and I met in Rohilton’s basement, and when I freed him, our connection ended.
It lasted about three months. Too short for love to bloom. Nothing special happened to make him care deeply.
‘But what if I was wrong?’
What if it was all a misunderstanding?
What should I do?
‘Should I quietly settle in the Duke’s house pretending not to remember?’
Armin had introduced me to all servants as his fiancée.
If I kept pretending to forget, he might marry me. If he was sincere, he wouldn’t miss this chance.
-How would life be as the lady of the Duke’s house?
Materially, it would be luxurious. Servants looked well educated and would serve me well.
The problem is, that’s all.
I understood why Armin avoided defining his feelings. Love is unpredictable.
He might love me like his life today, but tomorrow? Next week?
Relying on a powerful man’s mood for an uncertain life is too unstable.
‘I can support myself.’
If he truly liked me,
‘Maybe I could hope for that.’
I waited with a faint hope.
“Who said I don’t suit Bella? Who dares say that?”
Armin’s reaction was harsher than expected.
“Tell me. Who put that in your ear?”
His gaze was fierce, as if naming the person might cost their head.
“No one. Just my thought.”
“……”
“Though my memories are incomplete, I know the world. A royal spouse is almost nobility. Would people accept me, with no family and amnesia? I don’t think so. And Your Highness must be tired of their voices. People’s opinions are like that.”
Halfway through the walk, Armin let go of my hand.
He seemed restless, clenching and unclenching his fists, looking around.
He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself.
But he failed. The remaining emotion burst out of his throat.
“…What did I do wrong?”
“……”
“Why do people see me as trash who abandons the one they love?”
“I don’t mean that…”
“Or do you want to leave me, and said that in advance?”
“……!”
He couldn’t say no.
I lowered my head to hide my shaking eyes, but his strong arms caught my shoulders.
“I say clearly: I will be Bella’s man now and forever. Your memories don’t matter.”
“……”
“Do you think I will let you go easily?”
