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Chapter 01
“To my beloved Edward, whom I miss.
The sky-flowers have bloomed on the hill. I wonder when the weather became this warm. Counting carefully, this is already the third time I’ve seen flowers bloom since we parted.
Walking up the hill, I feel as if I am walking alone in the middle of the sky. It feels like just yesterday we strolled up that hill together, talking…
Ah, I tried to write elegantly, but it doesn’t suit my personality. I bought a sample letter book, but all the sentences are so flowery and unrealistic that I can’t even copy them.
I’ll be honest. I’m angry.
Why don’t you reply? I’m anxious—did my letters not reach you, or did something happen? Everything’s fine, right? I’ve already written three letters.
The newspapers said that the appearance cycle of chaos is getting faster, or that its level is rising. Are you really okay?
You haven’t… gotten another woman, right? If you have, I’ll kill you.
I’ll pray to the Winter Dragon that nothing happens to you.
I miss you.
Solar Calendar 1012, April 3rd.
Your fiancée, Seren Rubab.”
“To my lovely Seren.
I received all the letters you sent.
Now that I’ve recovered, I can tell the truth: I injured my right hand. I can picture your furious face, and I’m glad I was far away.
But since I had someone else write my letters, I had to confess the truth. They say no news is good news. I thought it was better to send letters a little late than to make you worry.
Even now, I’m not sure if this confession is the right thing, and I might tear up this letter and give up. But it’s better than being misunderstood as having cheated.
I’m fine now. Fully recovered.
And there’s good news too. Thanks to my achievements, I’ll be discharged in May. Don’t worry—it’s not because of my injury. It’s because I’ll receive a medal at the May Foundation Day ceremony. A 2nd-Class Grand Guardian medal.
If possible, I’d like you to attend the award ceremony.
Even aside from the ceremony, I want to meet you in the capital. I’ve found plenty of good restaurants and sightseeing spots. There are so many places I want to go with you.
(Oh, don’t misunderstand—I really didn’t cheat. I went alone or with friends. Of course, I also want to introduce you to some of my comrades.)
If your parents allow, contact me. I’ll enclose train tickets.
I really want to see you as soon as possible.
Solar Calendar 1012, April 12th.
You probably won’t believe it, but
I truly love you, Edward Graves.”
“To Edward.
Since we’ll meet soon anyway, I’ll keep this letter short.
I got my father’s permission to travel! I’ll depart for the capital using the train ticket you sent. Thank you for sending one for my companion too. Honestly, I wanted to go alone, but Mrs. Maybeck wouldn’t let me go unless she came along.
Still, we’ll have time just for the two of us.
Thinking that I’ll see you soon makes my heart pound. It feels like I’ve fallen into water, or like I’ve drunk too much.
It’s strange. I thought being apart would cool my feelings, but every day I realize how much of my life you occupy.
I used to be annoyed that you were better than me at so many things. That you’re taller, have bigger hands, stronger, and sometimes drive the carriage yourself because you’re a man. That you always finish your lunch first. That others ask me about your well-being—I was so tired of it.
And yet now, just thinking about seeing you makes me breathless. Strange, really.
Do you feel the same?”
1. Amnesia
Seren was having a nightmare. Something horrifying—dark, pitch-black, immense like clouds, and suffocating—kept chasing her, and she ran desperately, again and again. She knew that if it caught her, something terrible would happen, but she couldn’t shake it off.
[Seren.]
Every time she stumbled, a reliable, warm male hand would pull her with all its strength. She ran relying on that hand, yet she couldn’t tell who he was. She knew him somehow, but in the dream, she couldn’t remember, and she couldn’t see his face. He must have been a man with bright blond hair and a kind smile…
Running became so exhausting that she threw off her shoes and ran barefoot like a madwoman. When she splashed through puddles, her skirt soaked up the water, weighing her down, and running across the polished marble floors made her ankles hurt as she struggled to keep her balance. She was so tired that she tried to hide in a narrow thorn bush, hoping that the terrible thing would lose track of her, but it quickly found her, forcing her to run again.
Then, at some point, the hand she had been holding disappeared.
“Ah… ah…!”
Seren let out a silent scream. The man’s blood rose to her ankles, and what had been chasing her was suddenly right behind her. Perhaps it was called fate. She stepped back, leaving red footprints in his blood, and finally threw herself off a cliff. At that moment, fate grabbed her left ankle.
“Ugh!”
Seren woke up mid-fall, gasping. Before she could even feel relieved that it had been a dream, she realized she was in an unfamiliar bedroom.
“Huh…?”
Her throat was so dry and cracked that no proper voice came out. This was supposed to be her house at the Rubab Manor, her old mattress she had slept on since childhood, worn but comfortable as if it were part of her body—but here, everything was unfamiliar and luxurious. Velvet cushions were piled at her bedside, and every surface was engraved with beautiful cloud and flower motifs. Beneath her lay a soft, white cotton sheet, and she was dressed in a thin cotton dress woven from fine threads.
Had she woken from one dream only to enter another? Her body still trembled from the terror of the nightmare. Not only that, but her whole body ached as if she had been beaten.
“What… happened…?”
Her voice barely came out, so she thought blankly. She tried to get up, but her body wouldn’t obey. Reaching for the nightstand to stand, she accidentally knocked over a cup.
Clang!
Emily, her personal maid, rushed in, drawing back the canopy.
“Miss!”
“Ah…”
“It’s a relief you’re safe. I really thought something terrible had happened…”
Emily knelt beside the bed as if she might collapse. Seren blinked, still confused. Had there been an accident?
“What… happened…?”
Her voice was hoarse and cracked. Emily quickly went to get some warm water.
Mrs. Maybeck, the governess, cautiously entered behind her and looked at Seren.
“Don’t you remember, Miss?”
Seren shook her head. Mrs. Maybeck hesitated, covering her mouth with her hand, then said:
“There was an attack by Chaos at the train station.”
“Really…?”
Chaos, it was said, was a manifestation of the world’s accumulated disorder. This disaster could swallow everything, creating a black hole in the world, and could only be eradicated by a life force greater than that chaos. But surely, a place like the train station should have been prepared… Multiple guardians trained against Chaos would have been deployed. Had the warning not been issued? The empire’s Chaos warning system, refined over hundreds of years, was highly accurate today—but sometimes it could still fail.
“It was an enormous attack. The entire train station collapsed… Miss, first, drink some water. Your throat must hurt.”
Emily helped Seren sit up in bed. Seren wetted her painfully sore throat with the warm water, feeling slightly better.
“Thank you.”
“Don’t try to speak. Your throat hurts a lot, right?”
“Where… am I?”
“The Imperial Palace.”
“The… Imperial Palace?”
Seren could only respond in a dazed tone again. She understood she had been caught up in the Chaos incident and hurt—but why was she in the Imperial Palace, not a hospital?
Emily looked at her cautiously.
“You really don’t remember…”
“The Emperor himself saved you, Miss.”
Mrs. Maybeck added. Seren tried to respond, “I see.” But as soon as she heard the word “Emperor,” her breath caught, and she felt dizzy. Emily quickly supported her and laid her back down. Seren closed her eyes weakly, her eyelids to her neck burning with fever.
“Rest some more. Your fever is still high.”
“Okay…”
“When you wake, you’ll feel much better.”
Seren hoped it would be true. Before even the thought could fully leave her mind, she drifted back to sleep.
