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Chapter 6
Was I Abandoned?
[It’s been a very long time, Immortal One.]
A god appeared, shrunken to the size of a tiny fairy.
‘That guy…!’
No, correction. The one standing before me now was the god’s messenger.
‘Ah!’
I quickly moved, thinking the children mustn’t see the god’s messenger.
[All this time…]
The god’s messenger, about to say something, seemed startled when I nudged Veris slightly and snatched him.
“Your Highness?”
“Ah, it’s nothing! Just… exercising, you know, some stretches!”
It must have looked strange for me, who had been quiet all this time, to suddenly start moving. I hurriedly waved my arms and legs around as if I were exercising.
“I see!”
The innocent children believed the obvious lie. Even Carlyle showed no sign of suspicion.
“So you’re not sleepy anymore?”
Ronowe asked with a bright smile.
“Y-Yeah. I’m fully awake now.”
I laughed awkwardly.
“Then come play with us too, Your Highness!”
Why do these kids have so much energy? I felt the god’s messenger wriggling in my hand and said,
“No! You go ahead and play first.”
I gripped him tightly, worried he might escape.
“Hng…”
“I understand.”
Ronowe and Veris seemed disappointed but didn’t push further.
“Rest well.”
The children’s caretaker, Carlyle, became one with them and ran around tirelessly.
Phew…
I was relieved there was someone I could communicate with. I relaxed my grip after checking around.
[Don’t worry. Those children won’t be able to see me.]
The god’s messenger flew around me and landed on my left.
[Why did the god’s messenger come here? Could it be that the god has decided to forgive me?]
[Don’t even think about it until you find the answer.]
I didn’t like appearing to speak into thin air, so I used “Flame of Thought.” I only did this to avoid being treated like a madman.
[Then why did you come? You haven’t come to me in centuries.]
[……]
Then why did you bother flying all this way? I frowned in anger, demanding an explanation. The god’s messenger suddenly clamped his mouth shut and then said something entirely unexpected:
[It seems you’ve made some interesting friends this life, unlike your past ones.]
Instead of giving me an answer, the god’s messenger observed Ronowe, Veris, and Carlyle.
“Ugh, young masters! You shouldn’t be rolling around on the floor here.”
Even the adult maid couldn’t see the god’s messenger. Perhaps because of the messenger’s power, no one nearby noticed us talking.
‘These kids…’
I clicked my tongue at the exhausted children, who were panting heavily.
“Ronowe, Veris.”
Carlyle, who had closed his book, approached the children.
“Did you forget that the Marquis told you not to lie on the floor?”
Carlyle really was acting like a full-time babysitter. I snickered, then felt the god’s messenger’s gaze on me.
[They are not your friends.]
Embarrassed, I quickly denied it. The god’s messenger, staring at me intently, continued:
[Still, why not get their help to find the answer first?]
The god’s messenger’s tone softened slightly as he sipped tea.
[Are you teasing me?]
I remembered the many times I had pinned hope on kids and ended up disappointed, and my nerves sharpened.
[I was foolish to expect anything from children. They all just spout nonsense.]
[Is that so? But you’ve never spent time like this before. This time, isn’t it worth hoping for?]
[Hope…]
I scoffed.
[It’s not like I’m hearing this for the first time.]
A blonde noble lady, a woodcutter, a merchant… memories of past lives flashed before me.
Had the god’s messenger appeared in each life? Always giving hope that I could find the answer this time, only to inflict torment.
‘But I always failed.’
A bitter thought inevitably crossed my mind.
[Has the god abandoned me?]
I had once been favored. To be forced to endlessly reincarnate, suffering just to find the answer, seemed like pure hatred.
[You’ll know when you find the answer.]
But the god’s messenger only repeated the same phrase and, feeling hungry, fetched a biscuit and started eating it.
‘So annoying.’
Did this guy even plan to have a proper conversation? I glared at him.
[But you’ve been watching me all along. Why don’t you come yourself?]
I complained, my face twisting in frustration.
[Do you even have an answer? Living like this, I often forget why I’m alive. I don’t even know if I can find it!]
[Then you’ll just have to keep living like this.]
He said it seriously! I was infuriated at the god’s messenger’s casual attitude.
[I’m being serious.]
He looked like he wouldn’t stand for anything less.
[Give me a clue.]
I wanted to hit him, but I forced myself to remain calm and said in a measured tone:
[Even the so-called smart humans I ask all say they don’t know.]
[It still seems you don’t understand. That method won’t work.]
The god’s messenger sighed, hammering the point home.
[Even if you get help, the final answer must be realized on your own for the eternal cycle to end.]
I was stunned by the god’s words.
All the scholars I had pestered, the friends I had troubled, the wars I started, and the miserable lives I endured—everything I suffered seemed wasted. It felt like a hammer hit me.
[Why are you telling me this now? Wasn’t the goal just to find the answer?]
Frustration and anger clenched my fists, breaking the biscuit I had been holding.
[It’s impossible for anyone else to find the answer for you anyway…]
[What do you mean by that?]
Muttering to himself, the god’s messenger, seeing my confusion, quietly fetched another biscuit.
[It’s nothing.]
Crunching on the biscuit, he seemed satisfied and prepared to leave.
[Then, Immortal One, I hope you find the answer this life.]
In the end, the god’s messenger, having done nothing substantial, left with a plate piled high with sweets.
“Hey…!”
I wanted to tear off his wings. My anger erupted, and I shouted aloud.
“Eh?”
At once, the three children popped up like meerkats, turned their backs, and stared at me.
“Ah… it’s just that the biscuits were so tasty…”
Seeing the empty plate, I felt embarrassed.
“You must have been hungry, Your Highness.”
“Eat a lot, Your Highness.”
The kind children understood exactly as they said, and I smiled awkwardly.
“Y-Yeah…”
I ordered the maid on standby to bring more snacks and leaned back against the sofa.
Life…
Maybe it’d be better to dig a hole and disappear.
I stared at the ceiling, lost in thought.
“Your Highness.”
Carlyle approached at that moment.
“Huh?”
“If it’s not rude, may I sit beside you?”
I nodded, curious about what he would say.
“Do you have something on your mind? Your expression hasn’t been good.”
I naturally accepted the handkerchief he offered to wipe the crumbs from my hands.
“If you tell me what’s troubling you, I’ll help you think it through.”
A loyal and capable figure, Carlyle acted differently from the siblings busy playing.
‘Such talent would be a waste to let someone else take.’
I stared at Carlyle and laughed. He looked anxious, glancing around.
“Ah… well…”
This soft-hearted kid, his blushing face was so funny I laughed again.
“I-I’m sorry. I’m being presumptuous…”
“It’s fine.”
My anger from the god’s messenger interaction vanished.
“I was just looking at you because it was admirable that you care about me.”
I tapped Carlyle’s shoulder to express thanks and turned my gaze elsewhere.
“By the way, why are you with those… rocks—”
I almost called him a rockhead.
“Are you accompanying the Fleur children?”
A simple, casual question, with no particular meaning.
‘I didn’t think it was important, I’d ask later, but I’ll just poke for now.’
I watched the Fleur siblings playing oddly until Carlyle was ready to speak.
‘Huh?’
No way.
‘Picking things up off the floor to eat them…’
I almost made a noise at Veris’ impulsive act but held it in.
“Ah… well…”
Carlyle, it seemed, had his reasons and stayed quiet.
‘So there was some reason.’
I didn’t need to dig deep to find out the truth, so I decided to leave it at that.
“The Fleur family must educate their children well.”
“Ah, y-yes…”
I decided that would suffice.
“Big brother~ come play with us!”
“Your Highness, come quickly too!”
They give no time to rest! I glared at the Fleur siblings.
“I want to rest, so play among yourselves.”
I couldn’t leave the room and no longer had the energy to play.
“Why?”
“You wouldn’t understand my worries.”
I paused before speaking.
“Worries?!”
Surprised.
“Your Highness has worries?!”
“Wow~ Your Highness has worries~”
I dodged their enthusiastic rush, ducking and weaving.
“We’ll solve Your Highness’ worries!”
Wait a minute, you kids! I was stunned by their boldness, acting as if they would become great detectives to solve my problems.
“It’s not that kind of problem…”
Things were starting to spiral. I thought I could intervene and stop them in time.
“When our mother and father don’t know, we go to the study!”
“Then let’s go to the study!”
Why are they doing whatever they want? I pressed my hand to my throbbing forehead.
They’re completely excited.
Singing about the study, the siblings were thrilled.
“Ronowe, Veris. Don’t run.”
Feeling dizzy from their ruckus, I held my head with one hand as Carlyle stepped in.
It’s hopeless.
I realized there was no turning back.
“Let’s go!”
Ronowe, gripping my hand tightly, dragged me along helplessly.
