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Chapter 18
Good People, Bad People
As she approached the source of the sound, she saw Herdin vomiting in a corner of the garden.
Blair rushed to him, urgency written all over her face.
“Are you—”
But the moment she tried to touch his back, Herdin shoved her away roughly.
“Get lost!”
The force of his anger sent Blair crashing backward. Her sore backside throbbed from the fall, but her shock at the situation outweighed the pain. This was the first time someone had shown her such clear hostility.
Despite the disorienting situation, Blair’s concern for Herdin came first. She blinked, stunned for a moment, then sprang to her feet.
“Are you okay?”
For an instant, Herdin’s gaze faltered upon seeing Blair, but it quickly hardened into icy severity. He stepped closer to her, speaking through clenched teeth.
“Didn’t you hear me? I said get lost.”
He had long abandoned any pretense of showing respect to a princess.
Herdin’s voice carried a distinct killing intent. Blair instinctively shrank back at the threat, but the moment she saw his eyes, fleeing became impossible—or rather, she didn’t want to.
Though he spoke harshly, the distorted blue of his eyes looked unbearably lonely.
Suddenly, Blair remembered what Esmeralda had said yesterday:
“Honestly, Herdin isn’t the affectionate type. He’s awkward with people because he carries so many emotional scars.”
Indeed, Herdin wasn’t as kind as she had hoped, nor was he the “good person” she had lied to herself about.
But…
“He isn’t a bad person either.”
He was simply a boy struggling to bear the weight of his sorrow.
“Wait a moment!”
Blair stared up at Herdin, an idea forming in her mind. She turned and ran swiftly into the banquet hall, gathering her things and hurrying back out.
Normally, she knew running around in such a flustered manner wasn’t ladylike, but her heart raced as if she were fetching food for the cat that appeared in the backyard.
“Haa… haa…”
When she returned to the backyard, Herdin was nowhere in sight.
Blair wandered through the garden and found him on the opposite side of the wall where he had been earlier. He was sitting against the wall, face buried in his knees.
‘Is he really that sick?’
Recalling how he had vomited, Blair worried that she should have brought medicine and approached him cautiously.
At that moment, a sigh and a rough teenage voice came from the boy hiding his face in his knees.
“…Why have you come again?”
Though his tone clearly indicated annoyance, this time it was tempered with politeness.
Before he could push her away, Blair handed over the item she had brought, placing it on his outstretched hand.
“Here, I’ll lend this to you.”
Finally, Herdin lifted his head and saw what she had placed in his hand: a pair of fur ear muffs.
“They’re rabbit fur ear muffs. If you wear them, you won’t hear sounds as much.”
These would at least muffle the whispering around him. Being winter, no one would find it odd for him to wear them.
“They’re also warm… and really soft.”
The rabbit fur was soft to the touch—so soft she wanted to keep touching it. It always made her feel good.
‘Then maybe it will lift the Duke’s spirits too?’
Just as Herdin, blinking at the ear muffs and then at Blair with a bewildered expression, opened his mouth to speak—
“Princess! Are you here?”
A maid’s voice called out, searching for Blair.
Hearing the approaching footsteps, Blair jumped to her feet. If Herdin was discovered here, all his efforts to maintain composure at the banquet would be ruined.
“I’ll keep what happened today a secret.”
Blair quickly turned the corner and hurried toward the maid, leaving her hand empty where the ear muffs had been, but feeling lighter in her heart.
That night, before falling asleep as usual, Blair made her wish:
Please make my mother love me.
Please let my mother and Her Majesty the Empress become close.
And on that day, she added a wish for someone else, too:
Even though I’m displeased that he’s taking the Empress’s attention…
Please make the Duke of Delmarc happy.
“Then, the late Empress arranged your first meeting with the Duke?”
Agnes listened intently, even though it was a story unrelated to her.
Blair had only told Agnes that she had played cards with him the day before the New Year’s Festival, and that Herdin attended the banquet. She didn’t mention that he had run away that night.
It was an old event, and even if anyone learned that he had fled, no one could laugh at him now. Herdin was the Empire’s top knight and a war hero.
Though that night’s secret had lost its significance, Blair didn’t want to make his wounds gossip.
“It’s romantic to think that a childhood connection led to marriage.”
“Is it?”
“Of course. Every girl dreams of that at least once. And the fact that the other person was the Duke… though, of course, the romance was completed by your love.”
Blair looked at Agnes, questioning.
“Because you remember it, not him. Even during the New Year’s Festival, there must have been many memories, but you remember him most, don’t you?”
Blair blinked, surprised. She had never thought of it from that perspective.
Agnes smiled softly.
“It seems you loved the Duke very much.”
Blair, mulling over the comment, smiled faintly. Yes, she had loved him. Perhaps she had been drawn to him from that New Year’s Festival, as Agnes suggested.
But not anymore.
Still, from the Duchess’s perspective, she couldn’t openly say she didn’t love the Duke. Yet one thing she could say with certainty…
“…I loved that time.”
That period when she loved him purely, when those feelings weren’t a crime.
Agnes nodded in agreement.
“Happy memories can sometimes give you strength for life. I hope you create such memories this year too.”
Blair recalled the New Year’s Festival from that year—it had already happened to her.
‘Wait… what happened at this year’s festival?’
Recalling past memories, she hesitated, suddenly remembering that an accident had occurred at the festival before her reincarnation.
That night, Blair paced the room, touching her lips with her fingertips. She recalled the pre-reincarnation festival accident.
During the festival at the imperial hunting grounds, beasts appeared while family heads and housewives were gathering offerings for the gods.
She hadn’t remembered immediately because she had been sick with a cold and missed the festival. She only learned about the accident from Lina the next morning.
Herdin had slain the beasts, and though there were injuries, no one had died. Herdin had returned covered in the beasts’ blood but was unharmed.
‘What should I do…?’
If events unfolded as before, there’d be no problem. But her intervention could change history. What if trying to prevent it made things worse?
Countless possibilities scrambled in her mind. She didn’t know the right course of action.
Most of all, she hesitated because she had no way to explain how she knew the future—except by saying she had returned from the past.
Would Herdin believe such an absurd claim?
But Rina trusted me.
She hadn’t questioned her or punished the maids without reason. Maybe Herdin could trust her too, even though this story was far more unbelievable.
Even if he didn’t believe her, she had to tell him. It was better to be aware and prepare than to be caught unaware.
By now, Herdin should have returned.
After much deliberation, Blair went to his room, but several knocks went unanswered.
‘Could he already be asleep?’
He usually stayed up late, but considering tomorrow’s schedule, it was possible.
Just as she hesitated about leaving…
“What brings you here at this hour?”
Blair turned to see Herdin leaning against the wall, arms crossed, observing her. He wore a loose nightgown as if freshly bathed.
When their eyes met in the darkness, it felt like locking eyes with a predator observing its prey.
“…I have something important to tell you.”
Blair’s pale cheeks were reddened by the cold as she spoke solemnly. Herdin watched her silently before entering the room.
She followed him inside, and the warm air of the room thawed her chilled body.
Herdin walked to the table, took a sip of whiskey, and turned to face her.
“So, what is it you want to say?”
“There will be beasts appearing at the hunting grounds tomorrow. We should scout the area beforehand to prevent any incidents.”
Herdin frowned at the unexpected news.
“Where did you hear that?”
Just as she expected.
Blair hesitated, then cautiously began:
“I… can see the future.”
Herdin looked at her for a moment, then let out a bitter laugh. He remembered what Ruis had said when Blair had visited the guild that night.
Why would she come at this hour to tell such nonsense? What could she possibly be hiding behind that innocent face?
Herdin’s crooked smile disappeared, leaving only cold eyes.
“You expect me to believe that?”
“It may sound absurd, but there’s no harm in preparing in advance…”
Blair stopped mid-sentence when he stepped closer. Her instinct made her step back, but Herdin blocked her retreat, wrapping his arms around her waist.
“He–”
Before she could push him away, his lips neared hers—so close she feared even a slight movement would touch them.
He paused inches away, whispering:
“Then, guess what I’ll do next.”
His icy blue eyes pierced her like a dagger.
