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Chapter 2
I Should Not Have Loved You
The woman Herdein brought was named Miela—someone Blair had seen once or twice while going to and from the temple.
She was a priestess. A profession that suited her angelic face.
Miela had been dispatched to the northern regions on a mission under the goddess’s will. There, she happened upon the Delmark Knights, who had suffered severe damage from a magical beast attack, and helped them.
Through that incident, Herdein recognized her abilities and recruited her as an aide for subjugating magical beasts, keeping her close. She even returned to the capital alongside him.
A capable subordinate, and a lord with the eye to recognize talent.
On the surface, that was all their relationship was.
But the servants whispered among themselves.
“Don’t you think there’s something going on between His Excellency and Lady Miela?”
“Between them? I’m not sure…”
“Well, His Excellency doesn’t show emotions easily. But doesn’t it seem like Lady Miela likes him?”
“That’s… true. She didn’t even return to the temple after coming back to the capital.”
“His Excellency will fall for her soon enough. She’s beautiful and capable.”
“Well… whatever happens, she’s better than the enemy’s daughter.”
Their giggling voices reached Blair’s ears as they cleaned.
But Blair pretended not to hear. She feared that reacting would mean acknowledging the rumors as truth.
Thus, the suffocating summer passed, autumn faded, and a bleak winter returned.
After coming back from the main estate, Herdein never sought Blair out first—just as he hadn’t since her pregnancy.
He was always busy with outside affairs, and even when Blair visited him, he rarely received her.
At first, Blair tried to mend their relationship, but eventually she stopped going to him altogether.
If there was one small consolation, it was that he occasionally showed interest in Asiel. Though Asiel didn’t even seem to recognize him as his father.
That day, clinging to that faint hope, Blair went to Herdein’s office.
Asiel’s birthday was in fifteen days. She planned to suggest they spend it together as a family at their Holstein villa.
Just as she was about to knock, Blair hesitated.
The door was slightly open.
“Herde—”
The sight through the gap made her swallow his name.
Miela was in Herdein’s arms.
Blair’s eyes trembled uncontrollably.
“Ah…”
Instinctively stepping back to escape the unbearable reality, she met Herdein’s gaze.
He looked momentarily surprised—but did not avoid her eyes.
He didn’t even try.
Instead, he pulled Miela closer into his embrace, his cold gaze still fixed on Blair beyond the door.
As if to show her deliberately.
Staggering, Blair turned and returned to her room. She didn’t even remember how she got there.
Looking down, she noticed one of her slippers was missing, likely lost along the way. Her breath was ragged.
“Ha… ha…”
The moment she shut the door, the tears she had been holding back burst out.
She couldn’t forget the look in Herdein’s eyes as he held Miela.
The thought of him embracing another woman with the same gentle hands that once held her… whispering to another with that same soft voice… made it hard to breathe.
Even if that tenderness had only existed briefly after their marriage—
She still loved him.
She had fled from that moment, but she couldn’t escape the reality.
“Hah… ngh… sob…”
Her lungs, already damaged from a fire years ago, couldn’t withstand the brief run and her sobbing.
Blair beat her chest, struggling to breathe.
More than the bruises forming on her chest, it was her heart that hurt more.
The next day, Blair left a message through the butler:
“I want to spend Asiel’s birthday at the villa. Even if you’re busy, please come on the day.”
Then she fled to Holstein with Asiel.
Yet deep down, she still hoped—
That he would come, and tell her what she saw meant nothing. That it was all a misunderstanding.
But even on Asiel’s birthday, not a single letter came from Herdein.
Standing by the window facing the front gate with lifeless eyes, Blair didn’t move.
A small figure toddled toward her.
“Mama! Mama!”
It was Asiel, dressed beautifully for his birthday.
Blair smiled as if she had never been troubled and picked him up.
“My son, you’re wearing such pretty clothes today. So lovely.”
Asiel giggled under her kisses, then suddenly pointed outside.
“Dada?”
He remembered how she stood by the window every evening, waiting for his father.
At that word, Blair’s smiling face twisted for a moment.
“…Yes, Daddy will come soon. It’s your birthday—he’ll definitely come.”
As she repeated those words like a prayer—
Knock.
The butler entered, his expression complicated as he looked at Asiel.
“Madam… His Excellency says his schedule has been delayed. So this birthday… will have to be just the two of you.”
The faint hope in Blair’s eyes vanished.
“Sweet dreams, my baby.”
Blair gently kissed Asiel’s head and laid him in the cradle.
He slept peacefully, sucking his fingers.
After watching him for a while, she returned to her room.
Only then did her forced smile disappear.
The room she always stayed in alone felt especially empty tonight.
Sometimes, when the loneliness grew too much, she brought Asiel to sleep beside her—
But not tonight.
Because she felt like she would break down.
Because she didn’t want him to see her like this.
That lovely child should never see this side of his mother.
“Ha…”
She collapsed onto the sofa.
It had been a simple but happy second birthday.
Surrounded by servants, celebrated, eating delicious food, receiving many gifts.
A perfect birthday.
Except for the absence of his father.
Though Asiel laughed happily, whenever the door opened, he would look for Herdein.
Each time, Blair’s heart shattered.
She could understand Herdein neglecting her.
But she couldn’t accept his indifference toward Asiel.
Asiel doesn’t know anything. He’s at an age where he should only receive love…
It felt like it was all her fault.
She regretted loving that cold man.
If I could go back… I wouldn’t love him.
Just then—
Creak.
The door opened.
Blair looked up in sudden hope.
“…Herdein?”
But it wasn’t him.
A masked intruder stood there.
His face was obscured, but the black eyes reflecting in the blade and a grotesque scar across his nose were clearly visible.
Blair’s heart dropped.
She almost screamed—but stopped herself.
Asiel was sleeping in the next room.
If he cried, the man might notice him.
That must never happen.
Blair turned and ran toward the alarm cord beside the bed.
But—
Thud.
A cold blade pierced her back.
“Ah…”
A terrible pain surged through her as hot blood spilled from her mouth.
Still, she staggered forward—
And grabbed the cord.
Help me.
Please… someone save my baby.
Even as she collapsed onto the bed, she didn’t let go.
Not even when the attacker pulled the dagger from her back.
At that moment, footsteps echoed from the corridor.
The intruder leapt over the balcony and disappeared.
Blair stared blankly at his retreating figure.
The distinctive emblem on the dagger’s handle glinted in the moonlight—before vanishing.
Only after he was gone did she release the cord.
Thank goodness… I didn’t let Asiel sleep in my room tonight…
Death crept closer.
I can’t die like this…
My baby… what will he do…
There’s still so much I want to do for him…
With Asiel’s face lingering in her fading vision—
Blair’s heavy eyelids finally closed.
