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Chapter 1
『Lo ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ading ٩( ᐛ )و in (૭ ᐕ)૭ Progress』
[You have become the first to defeat <Ouroboros, the Circle of Infinite Recurrence>!]
[Calculating contribution. Please wait a moment.]
“What? Why’s this thing already dead?”
A wave of bewildered murmuring filled the cave.
Everyone had rushed over after hearing about the appearance of a newly discovered boss, only to find themselves staring blankly at one another in disbelief.
One woman dressed in black priest robes even cracked her whip against the monster’s corpse, apparently trying to revive it somehow.
“What the hell? If this was going to happen, they shouldn’t have announced it as a new boss update.”
“This game’s really gone downhill. I even skipped my group assignment to do this raid.”
“If it died easily, isn’t that a good thing? Why’s everyone complaining?”
“Did we come here because we wanted easy mode? Then why even play this game? Go outside and leave your phone running auto-hunt instead.”
“Why are you picking a fight with me, you chirpy little—beep-beep-tweet-tweet—!”
The Ouroboros raid party consisted of thirty players randomly selected from those standing at the cave entrance.
Because of that, the group was a complete mix: close friends, mere acquaintances, and outright enemies.
One wrong sentence was all it took for the atmosphere to turn into:
Oh, you’ve really done it now.
[Guild Chat]
No Newbies in Your House: Did King win? Lose? Why’s it so quiet?
21st Century Kingsmaker: Won lol.
Our Dog Is Choco, I’m Cyanide: Then why aren’t you guys coming out?
21st Century Kingsmaker: A huge fight broke out. 🙂
The Black Goat of My Left Hand: ?
Our Dog Is Choco, I’m Cyanide: ?
Nick: Did people start fighting?
21st Century Kingsmaker: The sound of baby birds never stops.
Our Dog Is Choco, I’m Cyanide: Sounds fun.
The Black Goat of My Left Hand: ;;
No Newbies in Your House: Anyway hurry up and come out. I’m bored.
21st Century Kingsmaker: K.
No Newbies in Your House: えrつr워ㄹr-⋆
After finishing the chat, Kingsmaker dragged the black scythe she carried and walked forward.
The horrifying scraping sound of metal against stone drew everyone’s attention.
Dressed in bright Alpine-style clothing that looked completely out of place inside the dark cave, the girl called Kingsmaker drove her scythe down onto Ouroboros’s head.
Then she asked,
“Is this thing really dead?”
Even as the people around her argued, Maria had continued whipping Ouroboros’s head without batting an eye, unfazed even by a scythe crashing down right beside her.
Only then did she raise her head.
“It’s dead. Doesn’t look like it’s coming back.”
“I had high hopes since it was supposed to be a new boss.”
“Maybe it was meant for mid-level players.”
“Or maybe it was a story boss. It’s been a while since the main quest got updated.”
At the mention of the main quest, everyone who had been bickering immediately fell silent.
Leaning against her black scythe as she stared into Ouroboros’s lifeless eyes, Kingsmaker asked,
“Did anyone actually read the Ouroboros script when we entered?”
“The script?”
“You read it?”
“Why would we? If you stand around reading, people spam chat telling you to hurry up and play.”
Meaning…
No one had read it.
Even Kingsmaker, who had brought it up, didn’t look particularly disappointed.
It seemed she hadn’t expected much.
“Um… things have gotten kind of weird, but shouldn’t we first discuss how we’re wrapping this up?”
Encouraged by the calmer atmosphere, someone cautiously raised a hand.
Immediately, everyone’s eyes began darting around.
As mentioned before, these people hadn’t gathered because they wanted to.
They’d been randomly selected due to Ouroboros’s tricks.
To them, the real challenge wasn’t fighting a boss alongside people they couldn’t coordinate with.
It was taking as much profit for themselves as possible.
“…I’m the tank! Therefore, I deserve the biggest share!”
“Stop chirping, you little—!”
“I’m a DPS. I’ll kill all of you and take your shares!”
“You people are actually insane!”
Maria watched as chaos erupted once more.
Meanwhile, Kingsmaker, who should have jumped in to secure her own share, continued circling around Ouroboros instead.
Unable to understand, Maria finally asked,
“What are you doing? If you don’t get involved, you’ll lose your share.”
“So everyone completely forgot the question of what Ouroboros actually was.”
“There’s no guarantee it had anything to do with the main quest. The loot distribution is more important right now.”
“But, Maria.”
Kingsmaker grinned.
“Do we really have to distribute it? If one person takes everything, there won’t be any of this pointless fighting.”
“…Whenever you say things like that, I get both worried and excited wondering what kind of delinquent stunt you’re about to pull.”
Kingsmaker merely smiled wider.
Lifting her black scythe high into the air, red skirts fluttering behind her, she leaped into the crowd of people affectionately discussing loot distribution by grabbing each other by the collars.
“Argh!”
“Hey! Put the scythe down! Stop attacking! Hey!”
Kingsmaker, already thrilled at the prospect of swallowing up Ouroboros’s corpse for herself, swung her scythe with infectious enthusiasm.
At last, even Green Grape-Flavored Aloe, who had stubbornly held out until the end, surrendered just before getting his head chopped off.
Thus, Kingsmaker succeeded in obtaining everyone’s surrender.
And by the most peaceful means possible…
She gained sole ownership of Ouroboros’s corpse.
Maria, who had made no effort to stop King out of sheer spite—
If I can’t have it, then nobody else should either—
asked curiously,
“What are you planning to do with it?”
“I’ve got some experiments I want to try. Ouroboros is symbolic in alchemy too, and lately I’ve had nothing to do, so I’ve been trying random things.”
“You really go looking for trouble.”
“What else am I supposed to do? The new boss I was excited about died so pathetically….”
King sighed.
“There’s seriously nothing left to do these days. I’ve already cleared pretty much all the content. At best, I’m just waiting for holiday events.”
She looked genuinely dejected.
Because of that, Maria decided to pretend she hadn’t noticed the blood splattered across King’s cheek.
Instead, she offered some goodwill toward the people sniffling behind them.
“They didn’t really do much, but they still came all the way here. Shouldn’t you at least give them something? At this rate, you’ll become famous for having a terrible personality.”
“I already settled it. I’m paying them back for potion costs and raid preparations. I’ll give you your share too, so you don’t have to pretend you’re worried about them.”
“Ah. You caught me.”
Even after her true intentions were exposed, Maria looked entirely unembarrassed.
Accepting the payment gratefully, she decided to offer advice to her friend, who seemed bored enough to die.
“If you’re really that bored, go finish raising your fairy. It hasn’t hit max level yet.”
“Our guild master keeps running away, insisting they can manage on their own.”
“Then go find a new newbie and raise them instead.”
“Oh?”
A new newbie?
Kingsmaker’s green eyes lit up.
Seeing that she’d taken the bait, Maria pointed out the obvious issue.
“Although, now that I think about it… do newbies even exist anymore? The game’s already been out for three years. Even if they do, you’ll have to line up in the starting zone behind all the veteran players camping there.”
Three years had passed since the game’s release.
Would there really still be new players?
Even if there were, veteran players who had turned “raising newbies” into their endgame content would already be lying in wait.
As though mocking Maria’s concerns, Kingsmaker flashed a bright smile.
“If there are any, we can just steal them.”
“…You’re right!”
Maria smiled back.
Despite the content of their conversation, the two looked remarkably kindhearted.
[Guild Chat]
21st Century Kingsmaker: Since there aren’t any, let’s go find newbies!
No Newbies in Your House: Suddenly?? But I like it.
21st Century Kingsmaker: We’re heading out the moment I leave.
Our Dog Is Choco, I’m Cyanide: Whaaaat?
21st Century Kingsmaker: Choco, you’re coming too lol.
Our Dog Is Choco, I’m Cyanide: Lol? Nope.
No Newbies in Your House: ㅠㅠ Then what about our guild master…?
Nick: I refuse.
No Newbies in Your House: えrつr워ㄹr-⋆
21st Century Kingsmaker: えrつr워ㄹr-⋆
The Black Goat of My Left Hand: But do newbies even exist these days?
21st Century Kingsmaker: Surely someone, tired of the bitter taste of real life, will start playing games to indulge in a little rebellion!
No Newbies in Your House: And that’s how they’ll become one of us.
The Black Goat of My Left Hand: LOL, isn’t there an option where they don’t join us?
21st Century Kingsmaker: No.
No Newbies in Your House: No. (>∀･)
