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Chapter 5
The wedding date was set quickly.
Everything was decided purely through the wishes of both sets of parents, reducing Seoyeong to nothing more than someone who simply had to copy the finalized arrangements down into her notebook.
“For the dress, we will be going with the brand Attorney Han selected previously. I’m told they’ve just released a new line following their last collection,” Dojin’s secretary reported briskly.
Seoyeong gave a cautious nod.
“The fitting is scheduled for this Friday at 3:00 PM. The formal meeting between the families will take place next Wednesday, hosted at the Chairman’s residence.”
As she carefully jotted down the schedule in her notebook, Seoyeong couldn’t shake the feeling that she was gradually becoming someone else entirely.
That person was Juyeong.
The bridal shop she had to visit, the people she had to face, the wedding invitations that would be printed with her name—all of it belonged to Juyeong.
Being a ‘substitute’ didn’t matter to her anymore.
Appearing before the world under ‘Juyeong’s’ borrowed name no longer felt awkward.
Right. What does it matter whether I’m Seoyeong or Juyeong? The one moving, breathing, and holding onto all of this is me.
Dangerous thoughts began to swallow her up every now and then. Seoyeong looked over at Baek Dojin, who was sitting next to her—the woman who had now become ‘Juyeong.’
Dojin was always immaculate. Neat eyes, a cool tone of voice, an unyielding presence. It was still hard to believe that this man was now going to be her ‘husband.’
No, the fact that she had become ‘Juyeong’ so she could be the wife of a man this wonderful was starting to feel better and better.
In a private setting where all attendants were dismissed so just the two of them could dine, Dojin spoke casually.
“I plan to personally select the menu for that day.”
He lightly raised his coffee cup. Conversations with him were always dry and polite, yet distant. Seoyeong always tried to read the emotions hidden behind his words, but it wasn’t easy.
He was sharp. It felt as though if she showed even the slightest crack, he would pierce right through it.
She couldn’t truly understand a single thing about Dojin, yet it felt like he could figure her out far too easily.
“Are the scheduled events over for today?” Seoyeong asked tentatively.
Dojin turned his head toward her. “Yes, this should be enough.”
Their eyes locked for a brief moment. He quietly looked at her, then suddenly spoke up.
“As I’ve said before, I have no expectations for this marriage. And about that other condition you mentioned.”
What condition is he talking about?
Seoyeong’s eyes quivered nervously.
“I’ve thought it over.”
Dojin continued slowly, but without a trace of hesitation.
“I will grant your condition to have a baby.”
Seoyeong’s eyes fluttered in shock. Her breath caught in her throat, and words failed her.
He’s agreeing to have a baby?
Right. Now that she recalled, one of the conditions her parents had set was indeed producing an heir.
Her heart skipped a beat late.
“Since I need someone to satisfy my physical desires anyway.”
The words took her breath away. Every single word felt like a slap across the cheek, sending an ache through her heart. Seoyeong bit her lip tightly.
“A relationship without emotions, where we simply fulfill our respective roles. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
He remained completely unbothered, as if the conversation they were having was merely an extension of a business contract.
“That’s why you chose me, after all.”
For a instant, something surged hot inside Seoyeong. But she didn’t let her expression change even a bit. She couldn’t. The moment she showed emotion, everything would surely crumble. She wasn’t yet the perfect ‘Han Juyeong.’
“Yes.”
In the end, she nodded. Even if her pride was shattered and her feelings were disregarded, she had to step back for now.
Because despite all this, she was ‘Han Juyeong,’ not ‘Han Seoyeong.’ And this marriage was being built upon a lie that must never be discovered.
“Good,” Dojin said as he stood up. “Let’s only expect as much as we need from each other. It would be best not to wish for anything beyond that.”
It was a polite warning. A warning not to wish for anything outside the conditions she, ‘Han Juyeong,’ had set.
Dojin turned around and walked out just like that.
In the private restaurant room where Seoyeong was left alone, a heavy, cold air hung in the atmosphere.
Returning home, Seoyeong collapsed onto the bed the moment she stepped into Juyeong’s room. She carefully clenched her fingertips. Her trembling fingers hid beneath the blanket. She was falling apart inside, but she couldn’t let it show.
That was the first rule of this performance.
Unable to say anything, Seoyeong just sat slumped there, clinging to the remaining sensation in her fingertips.
“’Someone to satisfy his physical desires’…”
Barely muttering the words, she dropped her gaze.
Even breathing felt difficult. It felt as if her throat were blocked, and her heart beat violently. She hadn’t known those words would hurt this much.
A marriage starting without her real name, without her true feelings.
He probably wouldn’t even realize what he had just said to her. But that single phrase had become an indelible scar on Seoyeong.
Seoyeong rested her hand on top of the blanket. Her deeply buried fingertips trembled faintly.
“It’s okay. This is my sister’s share to bear.”
Biting her lip hard, Seoyeong muttered as if to herself. Tears quickly pooled in her eyes, but she didn’t let a single drop fall.
She couldn’t let these emotions be caught.
She had to hold herself together and live as Juyeong tomorrow as well.
The feelings of ‘Han Seoyeong’ that had begun to stir toward him shouldn’t exist. If any feelings had to exist… right, those had to be ‘Han Juyeong’s’ feelings.
Seoyeong slowly stood up and headed to the bathroom. Standing in front of the mirror, she scooped up cold water with both hands and splashed her face.
And as if nothing had happened, she forced the exact same expression onto her face again. Han Seoyeong vanished, and Han Juyeong reappeared in the mirror.
“I am not Han Seoyeong. I am Han Juyeong.”
Repeating those words toward the mirror was like reciting a spell.
It was the only thread holding her crumbling heart together.
She had to erase herself.
That was the only thing Seoyeong could do right now.
The next day, with the wedding approaching, Seoyeong headed to the hospital where Juyeong was lying. The hospital room door opened quietly. Seoyeong took a deep breath and carefully stepped inside.
Her sister was still lying on the bed near the window. A fair, smooth forehead, closed lips, and motionless fingertips. Though the face with closed eyes looked peaceful, that peace was trapped in a silence as if time had stopped.
“Sister, it’s me. Seoyeong.”
The name she called out softly dissolved into the air. Juyeong remained motionless with her eyes closed, offering no answer whatsoever.
“I decided to marry him. Baek Dojin.”
Having uttered the words, her mouth felt completely dry. Her throat felt choked, making it hard to even breathe.
“At first, I thought I couldn’t take your place. But now, things are a little different.”
Her fingertips brushed against the back of her sister’s forearm. Flesh that was neither warm nor cold. She felt that temperature for a moment.
“It’s the position you wanted so badly. The daughter-in-law of Taesan Group.”
Seoyeong gently cupped the back of her sister’s hand. As her fingertips rested on the unmoving skin, it felt as though her sister’s long-standing ambition still remained intact right there. A bitter smile brushed past Seoyeong’s lips.
“You always used to say that you would rise to that position.”
Her older sister, Juyeong, had always treated Seoyeong as insignificant, ignoring her as if she didn’t exist. She was always arrogant. Seoyeong was nothing more than a trash can to dump her emotions into whenever she needed one.
“You shouldn’t have been born in the first place.”
“Honestly, having that face be my face is so frustrating.”
Seoyeong involuntarily caught her breath.
The opportunities that were never once given to her.
At that moment, deep in a corner of her heart, something small wriggled to life.
The desire to be ordinary. The longing to be someone’s ‘real daughter,’ and the wish to be chosen just once. The fingertips wrapping around her sister’s hand trembled ever so slightly.
Seoyeong slowly raised her head.
She realized that this small longing wasn’t a simple wish, but a desire that had been lying dormant for a very long time. All those years she had lived had merely suppressed that desire.
She spoke in a whisper, yet in a clear, definite voice.
“If I was fated to never be born, why was I the one who survived in the end?”
Her sense of guilt slowly peeled away. At the same time, she felt aggrieved. Because in truth, it might have been Juyeong herself who invited the disaster in the first place.
Right. I didn’t steal anything.
I don’t need to be anyone’s shadow anymore.
So, Sister…
“From now on, I will live under your name for you.”
It was a resolution, and at the same time, a declaration.
A promise to live a life entirely for herself, refusing to let anything be taken from her ever again.
