LMHM 11

 Chapter 11

Xenia fidgeted with the blanket with both hands, watching Amber’s mood. Since Amber had earnestly asked her not to get out of bed, she couldn’t do anything else.

Amber herself was observing Xenia, feeling a variety of complex emotions.

In her past life, Xenia had stopped working as a maid a little over a year after Amber came to the castle.

So the Xenia before her eyes was not much different from the one in Amber’s memories.

But from Amber’s perspective, she was seeing Xenia again after nine years. A longing and affection of a different magnitude than for Calix or Bella filled Amber’s heart.

‘But calm down. To Xenia, I am a stranger.’

Just as Amber warned herself not to rashly expect the same bond as in her past life.

“You really don’t have to go this far…….”

Xenia, who had been staring down at the blanket for a while, finally spoke.

“For you to personally come to care for a lowly maid like me. Thank you, my lady.”

Hearing the title ‘my lady’ [referring to the junior lady of the house], Amber gave a bitter smile.

Originally, the new mistress of the house should be called ‘Milady’ and the former mistress ‘Dowager Lady’, but the people of Talesto Castle did not follow that rule.

Unable to mentally break free from Bella, they called Bella ‘Senior Lady’ and Amber ‘Junior Lady’. Meanwhile, Calix was properly addressed as ‘Duke’.

Recalling that, Amber’s expression grew noticeably dark.

“Huk, I’m sorry. Among the servants, we got into the habit of calling you ‘Junior Lady’…….”

Xenia hurriedly bowed her head and apologized.

Knowing that the issue of titles was not Xenia’s fault, Amber smiled softly and shook her head to reassure her.

“My story is circulating among the servants?”

“Rather than circulating…… everyone was curious.”

Xenia rolled her eyes and answered cautiously.

“For months after the marriage documents were exchanged, that was all anyone talked about in the castle. What kind of mistress would come to the Duke’s castle? What kind of person would she be?”

Amber was briefly surprised to hear that stories about her had spread widely in the castle, but soon accepted it.

It was the lord’s marriage. Moreover, the bride was an outsider; it would have been stranger if there hadn’t been a flurry of interest.

‘I wonder what kind of nasty things were said.’

Amber certainly didn’t think only good things had been said.

She knew exactly how the people of the East thought of her.

<A spoiled child from a rich family who knows nothing of the East’s circumstances and can’t do a thing.>

Having heard it so often over ten years that it wore a groove in her ears, she couldn’t possibly forget.

Just as Amber was about to shake off her gloomy thoughts and change the subject.

“This is presumptuous of me, but…… I thought it was good that you came from the West, my lady.”

Xenia cautiously opened her mouth.

“I’m sorry! That was truly presumptuous.”

Thinking it was inappropriate even as she said it, Xenia bowed her head deeply.

But Amber did not scold her.

At Amber’s silence, Xenia cautiously lifted her head.

Xenia found Amber staring blankly at her with a surprised expression.

“You said it was good that I’m from the West?”

Amber asked back as if she couldn’t believe it. Being an outsider, especially from the West, had always been Amber’s weakness.

“Yes, all the laundry maids, including me, thought that way.”

Xenia carefully nodded.

“May I ask why?”

Amber asked in the kindest voice she could so as not to frighten Xenia.

“Because…….”

At Amber’s question, Xenia bowed her head and fell into thought with a dark expression. She seemed to be wondering if she could speak honestly about what she felt.

Xenia checked Amber’s mood again. Amber looked directly at Xenia and gave her a small smile.

That look and that smile seemed to make Xenia resolve something.

“Because you came from outside and aren’t under the Dowager Lady’s influence. So we thought you might be able to change the atmosphere of the Duke’s castle.”

At Xenia’s words, Amber felt a shock as if struck on the head with a blunt object.

Xenia fidgeted with the blanket and continued.

“Right now, the people doing important work in the castle and receiving high wages are all the Dowager Lady’s people. It’s the same outside the castle.”

What Bella controlled was not just the castle’s household affairs.

She had also used the absolute authority of the House of Talesto in the East to dominate society.

It was no exaggeration to say that every woman in the East, except for young ladies too young to leave the house and elderly ladies who had completely withdrawn from social activities, was under Bella’s influence.

“But there are also people who find the current situation hard to endure. The Dowager Lady is cruel-handed and doesn’t understand the circumstances of those below her.”

Xenia spoke with the most moderate words she could, but Amber immediately grasped her true intent.

Of course, not everyone liked Bella’s rule.

Bella only looked after those who were useful to her.

She does not treat those who are not useful to her, or even those who are useful but of low status, well. And she inflicts severe punishment for small mistakes.

It was a structure where a select few benefited, and the many insignificant ones were discarded.

This was the first time Amber had heard this directly from Xenia.

Even when they had been extremely close in her past life, Xenia had never opened her mouth about her own hardships.

‘Then why now?’

They were meeting for the first time now. How could Xenia talk about something she hadn’t even breathed a word about in her past life?

“Originally, the Duke was supposed to marry a noblewoman from the East. We thought this atmosphere would never change. But then we heard that you, an outsider, were coming to the castle…….”

If she was a Western noble, she wouldn’t be under Bella’s influence. That’s what everyone thought.

“My lady.”

Xenia raised her head and met Amber’s eyes with a desperate look.

“If I say this, I might be thrown out of the castle. Or I might be severely beaten, or locked in a small room without windows for days.”

Bella was certainly capable of that. No, she would inflict an even more cruel punishment.

“Perhaps you yourself…… might drive me away.”

Even though Amber was being kind to her, Xenia did not forget the wall of status that lay between them.

“But…… but still…….”

Xenia gripped the blanket so tightly that her knuckles turned white. She bit her lip and continued with difficulty.

“We can’t help but place our hopes in you, Milady.”

At Xenia’s earnest tone, Amber’s heart beat fiercely.

Xenia prostrated herself on the blanket. Her movements were so quick that Amber couldn’t stop her.

“Milady, please take me in.”

Xenia’s shoulders trembled faintly.

“I know I shouldn’t say this to someone I’ve just met. I didn’t intend to. But…… but after hearing what you said at the laundry room, I thought that perhaps, with you, we might be saved.”

At the laundry room, Amber had said that nobles should not punish commoners as they pleased.

‘So that’s it.’

Only then did Amber realize why the Xenia of her past life hadn’t confided her situation, and why Xenia’s attitude had changed now.

‘In her past life too, she had placed her hopes in me, but she couldn’t bring herself to speak. Because I was suffering so much.’

Xenia had a kind heart and always cared for others.

She could never have asked Amber, who spent every night crying, to fight against Bella.

Xenia, unable to speak and only waiting, eventually ended up leaving the castle due to Bella’s schemes.

‘But now…… because I’m not shrinking back, she’s placing her ‘real hope’ in me.’

That’s why she confided honestly and asked to be taken in.

Only now, ten years later, did Amber realize anew what kind of heart Xenia had treated her with in her past life, and how desperate she had been.

Amber’s stomach churned with affection and sorrow for Xenia.

‘I won’t blame myself.’

Just because Amber hadn’t been able to stand up to Bella and win in her past life, that didn’t make it Amber’s fault.

Back then, Amber had been as good as thrown into a pit with her limbs cut off.

No one could blame Amber for that.

But it was true that because she hadn’t been able to fulfill her role as the new mistress, those below her had suffered.

‘To have interpreted that desperate effort as mere pity for me, the past me was truly…….’

Truly, she had known nothing.

‘I want to do well this time.’

Her passive wish to avoid a miserable end had transformed into an active desire to do well enough to take care of those below her.

“Xenia, lift your head.”

Amber commanded in a gentle voice.

Xenia, trembling, cautiously raised her head. Meeting Amber’s eyes, which looked at her warmly and kindly, Xenia flinched in surprise.

“Thank you.”

Amber said with the utmost sincerity. It was an expression of gratitude for protecting her at the laundry room, and for honestly confiding her situation.

“And, I’m sorry.”

This time, she apologized for the events of her past life.

For not being able to protect her. For not noticing your desperate efforts and remaining huddled in place without moving, I’m sorry.

“Milady, I am…… I am just a lowly servant, and for you, a noble person, to apologize to me…….”

Xenia couldn’t finish her sentence.

She didn’t know exactly what Amber was apologizing for, but she sensed that the feeling contained in her apology was unusually large and deep.

Amber reached out and took Xenia’s hand. Xenia also squeezed back.

Just then.

Knock, knock.

Someone knocked on the door of the separate room.

Amber and Xenia quickly let go of each other’s hands.

“Who is it?”

Amber asked toward the door, pulling the blanket up to Xenia’s chin.

“It’s Denis Bertrand.”

“Ah, Sir Bertrand. Come in.”

Amber, who had become acquainted with Denis while caring for Xenia, spoke in a noticeably softer voice.

Denis entered, glanced briefly at Xenia lying wrapped in the blanket on the bed, then turned his gaze to Amber.

“What brings you here? If it’s about Xenia taking today off…….”

“No, not that. Regarding that matter, it has been approved twice, by the butler and the Duke.”

“Then?”

“It’s time for lunch, so I’ve come to escort you.”

“Ah, I see.”

Looking out the window, the sun was high in the sky.

She had been so engrossed in her conversation with Xenia that she hadn’t noticed the time.

“Very well.”

Having skipped breakfast and been moving around, Amber was very hungry, so she readily agreed.