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Chapter 6
A muscular arm slowly folded into a crossed-arms position. Lee Su, who had lost all sense of reality, couldn’t even tell whether this was a dream or reality.
That was why. Even though it had been the perfect opportunity she had been waiting for all along, she ended up blurting out something strange instead.
“You’re the one who’s defenseless….”
He tilted his head slightly with a faint smile, as if asking what she meant.
“Must be tough. Flirting with every woman in California and giving each one a gift.”
“Ah.”
As his eyes curved gently, his expression softened in an almost unbelievable way. It looked like the face of an angel.
“Well. I don’t give away anything important. You think I would?”
Lee Su’s gaze landed on his folded arms. A key ring was looped around his index finger, attached to a car key.
‘But why aren’t you going home, and instead….’
Is this a dream? As Lee Su pressed one hand against her eye, Frederick straightened up from the window frame.
“Then you shouldn’t give anything either, Daniel.”
……What is he even talking about?
“If you completely step off the game board, I’ll probably come after you.”
Wherever that may be.
His low voice echoed in her ear.
It was incomprehensible. It had to be a dream.
There was no way she could end up talking with Frederick Bastia twice in a single day, alone. Until now, not speaking to Frederick at all had been her normal, ordinary life.
…Well, not always from the beginning.
“Why do you keep staring?”
“Who knows… maybe you’ve got that kind of power. Makes people keep looking at you.”
“Ah….”
As her thoughts were torn apart, Lee Su was suddenly overwhelmed by impulse.
She wanted to say it. All of it.
Her lips moved slightly. Since it was a dream, maybe it was okay to just say it. Her faint reason tried to apply the brakes, but her emotions were pounding violently, ready to burst.
Hey, who do you think you are, talking to me like that?
Frederick Bastia, I really hate you. Everyone around you screams and falls for you, so what, you think I’m just like every other girl?
The more clearly her anger formed, the clearer her mind became.
“…….”
The moment she realized this wasn’t a dream, Lee Su closed her mouth.
Thank goodness she hadn’t said it out loud. But Frederick burst into laughter as he looked at her.
“Haha.”
“…What’s so funny?”
He smiled in a dry, languid way. It wasn’t even a loud laugh.
But precisely because of that, it sounded even more like mockery.
“Daniel, you think you’re good at hiding your emotions.”
“…….”
“You believe that if you hide them behind coldness, act cold to everyone equally, then they’ll stay hidden. But that’s not true at all.”
Lee Su’s heart turned ice-cold. In fact, even her breathing seemed to stop.
“Why do you despise me and the people around me that much?”
Strangely, there was no malice or criticism in his tone. To be precise, his face only carried a faint smile.
In an instant, Lee Su’s frozen heart sank heavily. Even if it couldn’t be seen, she could feel it shattering completely.
‘Calm down.’
Frederick Bastia, no—
‘White people are like this.’
She knew. She had known since childhood.
Even while thinking that, Lee Su unconsciously pressed her fingernails into the fingers of the hand hidden under the table, out of his sight.
They were honest when they should be polite, and when politeness and courtesy were required, they instead spoke bluntly like stabbing a knife. That was the conclusion Lee Su had drawn after immigrating to the United States in fifth grade.
It was a fact she was sick of knowing. So there was no reason to be hurt by his smile at all.
“…You’re overthinking. I don’t think anything about you guys.”
Lee Su barely managed to steady her trembling voice.
“Really?”
His calm smile proved he didn’t actually believe her, but was simply stepping back.
Lee Su bit the inside of her mouth. What should she even say…
“Actually, I think I might be a little curious now. I’ve developed some interest.”
“Hm.”
Frederick leaned forward with his arms crossed, tilting his head. Lee Su met his pale gray eyes directly.
“You. Not you—Chris.”
“…Ah, Chris?”
“Yeah, Chris.”
Chris Fassbinder. The basketball team captain and the only one among the Center Table Boys who hadn’t spoken to her at all that day.
To Lee Su, he seemed the most serious among them. Though the only time she had properly spoken to him was during a middle school group project.
“Your part is already a lot. I’ll take it from here.”
“Your bag looks heavy. Want me to carry it?”
Back then, even that small kindness had meant so much.
‘It probably didn’t mean anything….’
As if he could read her thoughts, Frederick immediately cut in.
“Why?”
“…Why, you ask?”
The conversation kept veering off in unpredictable directions. Lee Su wanted to stop talking about this altogether. It was all nonsense anyway. Chris Fassbinder? She didn’t even care.
“Why it’s Chris Fassbinder instead of me, you’re wondering.”
What is wrong with this guy’s ego?
For a moment she was speechless, but perhaps because she was so annoyed, the words came out easily.
“I like men who only look at me. Not the type who casually flit between this girl and that girl, this sport and that sport. Ah, but I’m not talking about you right now, Frederick.”
“Right. I’m not that flirtatious type.”
…That’s literally about you.
“Again?”
Frederick Bastia definitely had a talent for getting on her nerves. Lee Su ended up speaking more than usual.
“I don’t like people who seem like they don’t know what they’re thinking, who just live however they feel like. Chris Fassbinder is serious about basketball and takes it seriously. I thought that was cool.”
Even she was surprised at how easily the words came out. Thoughts she had barely once considered long ago now transformed into something that sounded like long-held sincerity.
“So it’s not about looks, then.”
Frederick’s reaction was unexpectedly calm, so Lee Su pushed further.
“…It is about looks too. Chris Fassbinder is my type. I… like blue eyes.”
In high school, blue eyes were a privilege. Like owning a private beach—blue, dazzling, and exclusive to the super-rich.
Lee Su felt like biting her tongue off, but once spoken, the words couldn’t be taken back.
Blue eyes. That was truly the worst thing to say. How shallow can I get…
“Hm, really? That’s kind of sad for gray eyes to hear.”
Frederick leaned forward and suddenly brought his face right in front of hers. Their eyes met at barely a hand’s distance. Startled, Lee Su’s hazel eyes wavered.
“What are you doing?”
“Just wondering if you ever properly look and evaluate.”
“I’m not interested in your eyes!”
Lee Su wanted to look away, but she couldn’t. It was as if her gaze had been caught.
Frederick Bastia’s eyes were like glass marbles. So clear and pale gray that his pupils stood out sharply.
When he looked at someone directly, they felt trapped. That was the power of his gray eyes.
“Not interested? I am.”
“…You’re too c-close right now.”
As Lee Su’s face twisted, losing its composure as if cracking, he finally leaned back.
“I didn’t know you were the type to get shaken when pushed, Daniel.”
“What?”
“That doesn’t work. You and them.”
His fingers, still crossed, tapped lightly against his own forearm.
“I don’t find your situation interesting. None of it.”
“Can you speak in a way I can actually understand?”
“Those guys don’t care about how much trouble you go through or how hard your school life is.”
Heat rushed to Lee Su’s face. Her entire body trembled with humiliation.
She remembered another rule of high school life in that moment.
Just because you are not looking at others, it does not mean others are not looking at you.
Especially humiliation and embarrassment were not the kind of things that could be hidden just because you wanted them to be. The rumors were already spreading throughout the school.
“It’s not fun watching you get looked down on for being a scholarship student, and it’s not fun watching you get sympathy or shallow attention from other guys either.”
Lee Su stood up abruptly. Her body felt frozen cold, her teeth trembling.
“I never asked for anyone’s pity. I’m not your TV show.”
“Oh, did I make you angry again?”
I was just stating facts.
As she heard his quiet muttering, Lee Su swept her things into her bag with rough movements.
“How do we go back to how things were in middle school?”
Her hand stopped mid-motion.
“Could you tell me how? I want to go back.”
Once spilled, water cannot be returned, Frederick Bastia.
No matter how much money you have, how great your parents are, or how many people adore you—once words are spoken, they cannot be taken back.
Completely swept up by Frederick, Lee Su forgot even what she had originally intended to say, and answered impulsively.
“There’s no way. There’s no method, and I don’t even like you. It was so long ago I don’t even remember it properly anymore.”
She slung her bag over one shoulder after zipping it up.
“You spoke however you wanted, so I’ll say this however I want too.”
It was only a brief hesitation before she looked up and met his eyes.
“Not every woman is supposed to like you or tolerate everything you say and do. At least I’m not. When I talk to you, I always—”
“Why won’t you accept it?”
She didn’t finish.
“Always without exception.”
“I feel disgusted.”
Without waiting for a response, Lee Su turned and walked briskly toward the door. The man who had been standing still leaned back against the window frame she had been sitting on moments ago.
A little later, he turned his head and looked down through the window. Across the courtyard path that cut through the quad, Lee Su appeared, pressing her palm against her eyes.
And across from her, faces he recognized were walking toward her.
At the predetermined scene, Frederick’s gaze instantly darkened.
Veins rose in the hand that held the car key and keyring.
