KDPCD 22

Chapter 22

For reference, young Nesia was extremely frail and would become seriously ill whenever her environment changed.

‘Thanks to that, the original story said that she spent several days bedridden after coming to the capital.’

It would be difficult to return to the capital while taking such a weak Nesia along. In that case, they would have no choice but to care for Nesia at the northern estate.

‘For approximately three years.’

It had taken three years for Nesia’s health to improve in the original story.

That was the amount of time I could buy.

Within those three years, I had to strengthen my own position and either deal with that bastard Meldor or turn him into a decent human being.

‘Ah, come to think of it, I should take care of that, too.’

I opened the very last page of the diary. Several formulas were scribbled messily across it.

At first glance, they looked like ordinary magical formulas, but these were the only ones Mother had never handed over to the Magic Tower.

‘Ancient magical formulas that can be used to form contracts with spirits.’

In the past, Mother had succeeded in summoning Shenan, the spirit of snow, using these formulas. However, the formulas had been incomplete, so she had been unable to form a contract.

After that, Mother had lived in the forest with the spirit while researching a more perfect formula. She had been so passionate about her research that even after meeting Father and coming to the capital, she had never stopped studying it.

‘In the end, she never managed to complete it.’

Instead, Nesia, who discovered the diary in the original story, completed the formula. And she succeeded in forming a contract with the spirit of snow that had raised her.

‘That was how she gained the unique power of the spirit of snow.’

It wasn’t widely known, but spirits possessed their own unique powers separate from magic. They could bestow those powers upon their contractors.

The unique power of the spirit of snow was ‘the ability to make people feel nostalgic for someone dear to them.’ With this power, people would see the lingering presence of someone precious in Nesia. It happened on a deeply instinctive level.

Those who felt nostalgic upon seeing Nesia naturally lowered their guard around her and developed an affection for her.

Combined with Nesia’s naturally bright and cheerful aura, this power turned her into a heroine loved by everyone.

Of course, I neither needed nor suited such a ridiculous power.

‘But the powers of the other spirits are tempting.’

I smiled slyly as I stroked Mother’s formulas.

“I’ll put these to good use too, Mother.”

I carefully tore out several sheets containing the formulas. The notebook was thick enough that the missing pages weren’t noticeable.

Feeling rather pleased with myself, I snapped the diary shut.

‘Now I just need to show this to Father.’

I was about to get up from my chair and go to bed when I noticed a sheet of paper sticking out between the diary’s pages. It seemed to have originally been tucked inside the diary and had slipped out when I opened it.

I reached for the protruding paper, but my hand stopped.

‘This is…’

Only part of it was visible, but it was a photograph.

In the slightly worn photograph, Mother was smiling brightly.

A baby was nestled in her arms, but because I hadn’t pulled the photograph all the way out, I couldn’t see the baby’s face. Only a tiny foot was visible.

Seeing it reminded me of why I hadn’t searched for it all this time, despite knowing where the diary was.

‘In the original story, Mother kept a photograph inside her diary.’

It was a photograph taken on her eldest son’s first birthday.

Mother had been prouder of and loved her son more than anyone.

‘The eldest son sees this photograph and realizes once again how much his mother loved him. And he comes to accept Nesia, who delivered the photograph to him, as his true younger sister.’

But what about me?

I wasn’t her proud eldest son. I was an insignificant eldest daughter.

Had Mother kept a photograph of herself with me, just as she had in the original story?

Or had she kept a photograph of Meldor, the child upon whom she had poured all her love instead of me?

I hadn’t been able to bring myself to find out, so I had kept putting it off for half a year.

But now, it seemed the time had finally come.

I calmly pulled the photograph the rest of the way out of the diary.

And I couldn’t help but let out the breath I’d been holding.

“Haa…”

The baby in Mother’s arms had thick black hair and red eyes.

Yes.

It was me.

Seeing a photograph of Mother holding me so dearly made my heart stir.

The days when I had been hurt and pushed aside.

As ridiculous as it sounded, there had still been memories among those painful days.

—Bellady, come here.

Mother’s figure from my memories appeared like an apparition.

Until I returned, Mother had spent most of her time lying in bed, but on days when she was feeling well, she would read books.

That day had been one of those days.

As usual, I went to Mother’s room, but I hesitated by the doorway, afraid that I might disturb her.

Noticing me, Mother whispered in a gentle voice.

—It’s all right. Come to Mommy.

At those words, I cautiously approached the bed.

When I sat beside her, Mother closed her book and pulled me into her arms.

—You don’t look very happy. Did you have another scary dream?

Around that time, I would always have nightmares about Mother dying.

So, in passing, I had once told her that I’d been having bad dreams lately.

—You remembered what I said?

—Of course. You said it, Bellady. How could I forget?

Mother spoke languidly as she gently patted my back.

Under her touch, I nestled deeper into her arms.

—It’s nothing.

—That’s right. A dream is only a dream, so don’t worry too much.

As she said that, Mother stroked my head before lifting the corners of my mouth with her fingers.

—Don’t make such a sad face. You should smile. Did Mommy ever tell you that you’re prettiest when you smile, Bellady?

—Yes. You always say that.

Because I loved Mother’s kindness, I smiled brightly like a fool.

Mother smiled too.

This was my most recent memory of her.

“If smiling makes me the prettiest, you should have given me more reasons to smile.”

Anyone could say things like that.

In the end, Mother herself was the one who had made my expression harden.

I wasn’t such a good daughter that a handful of happy memories could make me forget how she’d favored my younger brother.

I no longer wanted to look at the photograph, so I abruptly turned it over.

‘If only it had been Meldor…’

Then I wouldn’t have felt so conflicted.

Why was Mother holding me?

Had she loved me, at least in her own way?

‘…So what if she did? That love was merely the scraps left over after she had loved Meldor.’

Back then, I had been so starved for affection that I’d clung to even those scraps.

But not anymore.

After letting out a small sigh, I tucked the photograph deep inside the desk drawer.

I’d removed the source of my distress, but my restless heart still wouldn’t calm down.

It was probably because I still had feelings for Mother.

‘Whether it’s love and hatred mixed together or whatever… I wish it would disappear quickly.’

So that Mother and I could become complete strangers.

I collapsed onto the bed.

That night, I couldn’t fall asleep at all.

Although I had slept poorly against my will, I wasn’t feeling particularly bad.

Thanks to that, I managed to get through the day without incident, and night came once again.

‘At this hour, Father should still be in his office.’

I walked briskly down the fifth-floor corridor and ran into someone familiar.

“It’s been a long time, Lady Bellady.”

“Yes. It has been a while, Baron Riken.”

Baron Riken was Father’s closest aide. He was a diligent and rational man. When I was young, he had also briefly taught both Meldor and me the lessons necessary for an heir.

‘He’s also one of the few people in this mansion who treats me comfortably.’

I glanced at the documents in Baron Riken’s hands.

“You haven’t left work yet? What about the other aides?”

“Yes. That man works this old fellow to the bone… The Duke really is too much.”

“Please understand him. There is no one as capable as you, Baron Riken.”

“Hohoho, don’t flatter me. I feel like I’ve been worked to the bone ever since the previous Duke’s time, but with praise from you, Lady Bellady, I suppose I should find the strength to carry on.”

“I’ll give you and the other aides some medicinal herbs that are good for your health, so you can regain your strength.”

“Oh! Thank you very much. The fellows will be delighted.”

Baron Riken gave me a kindly smile and bowed his head slightly.

“Then, I’ll be going.”

“Good work, Baron.”

After exchanging farewells, he opened the door opposite Father’s office. Through the opening, I caught a glimpse of the room inside.

Four men and women were seated at four desks pushed together, their pens moving without pause.

Baron Riken’s desk was positioned separately behind the four desks.

Each desk was piled high with stacks of documents.

The scene looked remarkably similar to an exploitative company from my previous life.

I clicked my tongue.

‘Even being an aide to a ducal family that owns a huge territory isn’t a job worth having.’

Especially when the highest-ranking boss was sitting directly across from their workspace.

They couldn’t leave work whenever they wanted, and they were constantly forced to work overtime.

‘…Hmm. Should I send Father to the north and bring the aides over to my side too?’

Judging from the expressions I’d briefly seen on the aides’ faces, I felt they might be easily won over if I improved their working conditions even a little.

With all sorts of thoughts running through my mind, I looked toward Father’s office.

A servant waiting outside the office noticed me and politely bowed.

“Have you arrived, Lady Bellady?”

“Tell Father that I’ve come to see him.”

“Yes.”

The servant knocked on the door and announced my arrival.

Soon, permission to enter came from inside, and the servant opened the door.

I entered and saw Father looking over some documents.

“Good evening, Father.”

“What is it?”

Father asked in his usual indifferent voice.

I approached him and said,

“There is something I absolutely must show you, Father.”

Only then did Father look at me.

I held out the notebook I had brought with me.

“It’s Mother’s diary.”

“…What?”

Father raised one eyebrow as he took the diary from my hand.

He stared at the cover for a moment before turning a page.

“This is definitely Dohemia’s handwriting. It wasn’t among her belongings when we sorted through them… Where did you get this?”

“I found it underneath the bed in Mother’s laboratory.”

“Her laboratory?”

“Yes. I couldn’t sleep last night because I kept thinking about Mother.”

I lied without even the slightest hesitation.