ITETD 53

Chapter 53

Calix feared that Rena might despise him if she ever found out.

No matter how desperate he was, could she stay with someone who secretly made deals with her life? Could she trust someone who used her safety as a bargaining chip?

Rena was always endlessly kind to those she accepted inside her circle. Calix feared being pushed out of that circle. He wanted to keep the secret from her forever, yet another part of him wanted to run to her and confess everything.

After spending a long time calming down in the garden, Calix finally returned. He saw Rodrigo leaning against Rena’s door.

“Where is Rena?” Calix asked as he approached quickly.

Rodrigo answered as if he had been waiting.
“Lady Rena took headache medicine and fell asleep.”

“Headache medicine?”

“Yes. She also had a slight fever, probably from overexertion.”

Calix frowned.
“Is she alright now?”

“Yes. Ah, but Lady Rena asked me not to tell you. Please don’t let her know I told you,” Rodrigo added quietly.
“I just… don’t want her to dislike me.”

“She probably expected Rodrigo to tell me anyway,” Calix thought.

Rodrigo continued,
“She also seemed to know you had left earlier, but she didn’t ask where you went. She just took her medicine and went to sleep.”

“…I see. Thank you,” Calix said.

Rodrigo left, his duty complete. Calix took a deep breath before opening Rena’s door. He was weighed down by the thought that his actions might have stressed her and made her sick.

And even more by the conversation he had with the Emperor.

He didn’t want Rena to notice his feelings.

He quietly entered the dark room without knocking so as not to wake her. The little kitten curled in the corner had clearly decided this room was its territory.

The curtains were tightly closed, making the room completely dark despite it being daytime. It showed just how unwell Rena felt.

Calix walked softly toward the bed. Rena was curled up in the center, sleeping like a small ball. He watched her for a long time before carefully climbing onto the bed, worried the weight might wake her.

He lay on his side next to her, resting his head on his arm so he could face her. Even though her eyes were closed, it felt as though he was connecting with her.

Calix knew what Rena looked like when she pretended to be asleep. This wasn’t one of those times—she was truly asleep, unaware he was there.

He felt a mix of affection and sadness. He gently brushed the loose strands of hair from her face.

“What are you thinking? Why won’t you open up to me?”

Sometimes, when he looked at Rena, Calix felt uneasy. He knew he wasn’t her only option. Unlike him—because to him, Rena was the only one.

Since the moment he met Rena in Truxia, there had been no one else for him. It was like a baby bird imprinting on its mother the moment it hatches.

But Rena… Rena had other choices. She chose him simply because he happened to be there at the right time.

“You said I’m the only one you have… It’s the same for me, Rena. I only have you.”

Those words Rena had whispered when she woke from her week-long coma had eased his fear for a while.

But what if someone else had been in his place that day in Truxia? Would Rena have chosen him?

If someone else slipped into the space he occupied now, her heart might move to them.

The thought made him endlessly anxious. He had no right to cage Rena, yet his actions kept erasing her other options—one by one.

He wanted the day to come when he was her only choice. So that even if she ever wanted to leave him, she would have no other path but to return.

“Rena.”

There was no answer. She was beautiful and infuriating at the same time.

“One day… I want you to stay by my side because you truly want to.”

He whispered softly,

“But until then, I’ll hold on to you a little. Just a little. Your choices, your present, and your future—all of it.”

Calix closed his eyes, hoping that the next time he opened them, he would meet Rena’s gaze.

How could people keep enjoying the party when someone had almost died?

I looked at the glowing greenhouse with disapproval. Thanks to the name of Duke Hertrio, our room was in a prime location. Just stepping onto the terrace gave a perfect view of the greenhouse.

But I didn’t like that view. After all, I had almost died there.

I rested my chin on the terrace railing, glaring at the greenhouse.

Behind me, Calix approached.
“Tonight’s dinner is honey-glazed roasted pork,” he said casually.

“Sounds delicious,” I replied absentmindedly, still staring at the greenhouse.

When I had woken up from my nap earlier, Calix had been sleeping beside me. That was surprising enough, but even more surprising was that I had woken up first.

I had wanted to question him about where he had gone, but he was sleeping so peacefully I couldn’t bring myself to wake him. Instead, I decided to quietly watch him a little longer. But, as if he sensed it, he woke up too soon.

“It was such a rare moment…!”

I almost stomped my foot in frustration but held it in.

“Do you want me to close the curtains if you don’t like the view?” Calix asked, noticing how I was glaring at the greenhouse.

“No, that’s not necessary,” I replied, turning around.

He was already setting the table on the terrace with practiced ease.

“He probably never prepared a meal himself in his life, but he’s so good at this…”

“Would you like to sit, my lady?” he teased, pulling out a chair for me.

“Thank you. Such good manners,” I said as I sat down.

Calix just smiled instead of replying. He placed a napkin on my lap before I looked at the table.

There was honey-glazed pork, salad, eggplant stew, sautéed vegetables, cheese and bread, butter and honey, grilled bass, and fish tartare.

And Calix tasted each dish first, as if it were his sacred duty.

“What if something really happens and you die first?” I thought, frowning.

I had once asked him that, and his answer was ridiculous.

“It’s fine. I already updated my will.”
“Don’t joke. Answer seriously.”
“Seriously? Okay.”
“Yes, seriously.”

Then he had said:

“You could survive without me, but I can’t live without you.”

In other words, if one of us had to die, it would be better if it was him.

“So annoying.”

He said it so calmly, and the worst part was… I thought he was probably right.

Sure, I could live without Calix. I had done it for five years. But would that be a full life? I would carry an emptiness forever, stumbling through life.

That wouldn’t be living.

But I couldn’t say that to Calix.

“Lady Rena and Duke Hertrio are poison to each other.”

I didn’t know why that phrase suddenly came to mind.

“This is good,” I said instead, taking the meat Calix cut for me. I even pretended to enjoy it, though I felt like I would get indigestion this time.

That night, after saying goodnight to Calix, I quietly slipped out of my room.

The best thing about staying in the imperial palace was this—I could move at night without Calix noticing.

I had checked before leaving. He was sound asleep.

I wasn’t planning anything dangerous. I only had one goal: find Pryn.

I deliberately wore my plainest dress, something that made me look like a palace servant. I wanted to blend in.

I knew the palace’s layout well now, after the last few days. While everyone was distracted by the ongoing party, I moved quietly through the imperial palace.

I had to be quick. If Calix woke up and found me missing, he might come looking for me.

Once I found Pryn, I planned to ask her about Lenia. I didn’t know how close she had been to the maid who died, but I would make her believe Lenia was the one who framed Milon.

The imperial palace at night, without even a single lantern, felt eerie.

Maybe because I had chosen a deserted route, but tonight it felt especially so.

I still hadn’t told Calix the truth about the Prince.

That he had joined hands with Lenia to poison me. That he had even threatened me.

I knew I had to tell him soon. But I was afraid.

If he knew, he might try something dangerous on his own.