IRATBP Chapter 54

Chapter 54

It isn’t my heartbeat.

When I ran my trembling hand over his body, I finally realized that he was only wearing a shower robe directly over his bare skin.

My fingertips slowly traced over his exposed chest. His muscles were firm beneath skin that was still slightly damp.

I knew it. That sound belonged to Russell.

The dry warmth under my fingers felt hot. As always, a faint scent of mint lingered on his body.

The steady thumping was transmitted through the tips of my fingers. Even when I tried to breathe in, a strange heaviness settled in my chest.

A heartbeat alone wasn’t enough to define something as love.

This… isn’t love, right?

I was just startled.

Across both my previous life and this one, I’d never been loved, but at least I could distinguish something like this.

“Now that you’ve come to your senses, I’d like you to move.”

“I’m sorry.”

At his words, I quickly pulled my fingers away and straightened up. Though somehow, leaving the warmth that had wrapped around my whole body felt regretful.

He stood up and I heard the sound of him adjusting his clothes. But he didn’t move right away.

“This scent… is it marjoram?”

“Wasn’t that the flower you placed there?”

“As if.”

He let out a low, incredulous laugh and stood up, his footsteps ringing out.

I stood up as well.

“Marjoram is a herb that tolerates the cold well, so it grows even in the North. It’s also good for calming the mind… but it seems someone placed it to commemorate the joining of your room and mine.”

His voice was full of displeasure. It sounded like he was scolding someone for placing it without permission.

When I sensed him reaching out to snap the marjoram stem, I hurriedly stopped Russell.

“If you break it, the others will be sad.”

“You mean the ones who placed it without my or your permission?”

“Still… I’d like you to leave it. I’m afraid I might hear its voice when it dies.”

It was a lie.

I’d never actually heard the voices of dying trees.

But it’s pitiful… and who knows, this might work.

Surprisingly, the persuasion worked.

“Fine. Then I’ll leave it for now.”

His voice was still full of displeasure. I let out a sigh and turned my body away from him.

As I fidgeted uneasily, spinning the stick around, he asked,

“What are you doing?”

“This won’t do. It’s better if I leave from my side. If rumors spread the wrong way, it’ll be a disaster.”

“I had the wedding chamber precisely because I wanted those rumors to spread.”

“What? What do you mean…?”

While smoothing out the bedding with his hands, he spoke in a calm, indifferent voice.

Unlike me, who stood there dumbfounded, he slowly approached me and answered.

“After the vow ceremony, you’re practically a Grand Duchess. If we don’t share a bed, what excuse are you planning to give people?”

“It’s not that you’re wrong, but…”

It wasn’t an argument I couldn’t understand. Even if I was only a puppet Grand Duchess, having gone through the vow ceremony, sleeping in separate rooms would look suspicious to anyone.

“I’ll help you, so get on the bed first.”

“…Alright. But you absolutely must not cross over to my side.”

He let out a short, playful laugh.

“You should worry more about not stealing the blankets.”

“Even if the world turned upside down, that wouldn’t happen.”

Just what does he think I am?

Feeling embarrassed for no reason, I climbed onto the bed in silence with Russell’s help.

I felt it last time too, but this bed is way too big for one person.

Even though I’d been unconscious then, I still remembered.

I crawled over slowly and buried my face in my pillow.

It feels like all the fatigue is melting away…

Maybe because so many tiring things happened today, just pressing my face against the soft pillow and stretching my legs out on the bed made my exhaustion strangely disappear.

While I was distracted by the texture of the pillow, the sudden sound of him blowing out the candle reached my ears.

Soon after, I felt the bed dip as he got in, and heard the sound of him slipping under the blanket.

This is making me nervous for no reason.

Along with the sound of fabric brushing against skin, his hand brushed my shoulder for a brief moment.

I flinched hard.

“Ah, sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s… it’s okay. Please lie down comfortably.”

Even I thought my voice sounded unbelievably stiff.

Thinking about it, Russell was the owner of this bed, so telling him to lie down comfortably on his own bed didn’t make much sense.

This totally gives away how nervous I am…

The sound of skin brushing against the sheet, the quiet sound of breathing filled the darkness.

By this point, my head was spinning.

I was turned away from him, lying on my side, but sharing one blanket like this… was it always this hard?

Why does my chest feel so ticklish?

Come to think of it, had I ever slept with someone before?

I slept with my family in the slums… but they always slept like the dead.

In my previous life, my parents were so weak that they spent most of their days asleep.

In the duke’s household, I slept alone from as far back as I could remember. After every attempt to make me show my eyes failed, I was isolated as a cursed child.

I thought I’d gotten used to sleeping alone…

Just the fact that I was sharing the same blanket with Russell made me feel protected.

As a warm heat spread around my heart and I started to feel drowsy, a voice suddenly spoke.

“Piana. Are you asleep?”

“Huh? No.”

Couldn’t Russell sleep?

In the deep, cozy darkness, he spoke to me.

“That ability. Do you remember when it first manifested?”

He was asking about my ability to hear the voices of trees.

In the past, there wouldn’t have been a single person who believed me.

He was seriously thinking about my ability.

I answered in a voice as if I were telling an old childhood story.

“I’ve been like that since I was very young… so I don’t really know. Um… when I touched them, I could talk to them.”

From the moment I first grabbed a tree after learning to walk, I could hear voices. I didn’t know the exact time, but I knew they weren’t human voices — they were trees talking to me.

“Until then, my world was really dark and lonely. And no one took care of me.”

But unlike people, the trees always spoke to me in warm voices. After being reborn in this body, the thing that supported me was always the trees that gently embraced me.

“The ones who helped me in the North were the trees too. It was always thanks to them… that I was able to be here.”

“…I see.”

There was no pity and no tenderness in his voice. He simply turned his back to me and quietly accepted it.

“Was ‘If you have the courage to take just one step forward, you’ll be fine’ something a child who grew up in the slums often said?”

My chest tightened.

There were days in the slums when I lied as easily as breathing just to survive.

Now, I didn’t want to lie to Russell.

But if he finds out that I remember my previous life…

I had no idea how he would react.

I let out a hesitant sound and answered.

“I guess you could see it that way. …But why do you keep asking?”

“If that made you uncomfortable, I’m sorry.”

…He apologized surprisingly easily.

“…I’ve heard similar words somewhere before, that’s all.”

He had heard similar words before.

What kind of situation was that? At first, he sounded like he had no clue.

“Russell. Did something happen?”

I turned my body toward him.

Had he discovered something about that person?

“There’s nothing. I just remembered that there was someone who said something similar when I was in the slums.”

“Where is that person now?”

My voice grew loud, as if I were about to jump up and run out right away.

When I abruptly sat up and turned my head toward where the voice came from, he answered in a cold tone.

“They’re dead.”