IPDE 10

Chapter : 10

Even if I’m an Extra, I Refuse a Death Route (10)

“Yes.”

I froze for a split second at the sudden question, but it was one I could answer right away.

“Even if you look at this sword again?”

Iart curled one corner of his lips and lightly shook the sword hanging at his waist.

“Yes.”

It seemed Iart didn’t quite believe my words.

Which was only natural.

There was no reason for him to trust a maid he’d only just met.

“I see. Is that so.”

I could clearly sense it from the way Iart let out a soft scoff.

“……Ah, Your Highness!”

I’d been lost in thought for a moment when I suddenly looked up and saw Iart’s back as he was about to leave.

Not wanting to miss the chance to talk to him alone, I hurriedly called out to stop him.

Calling him back was one thing, but then—

‘What… should I say?’

As the silence stretched on, I saw Iart’s brows gradually knit together.

“Uh, well, I mean, that is…”

Watching me mumble without getting to the point, Iart’s expression twisted into something grim.

If I stalled any longer, it felt like he might snap in anger.

But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t think of the right words.

“Are you mocking me right now?”

“No, no! It’s not like that……”

The blue eyes that stepped sharply closer were chilling.

I stared blankly at Iart’s twitching eyebrow, and in the end, the answer that came out—having failed to find anything better—was:

“Did you know? They say if you see someone who’s too handsome, you temporarily lose your memory.”

“…What?”

“Oh, right. Did you know? They say if you see someone who’s too handsome, you temporarily lose your memory.”

“……….”

I smiled brightly, as if I really had lost my memory.

With an expression that clearly said What on earth is this situation?, Iart stared at me blankly.

Then, a moment later—

“…Ahem.”

A short laugh.

He quickly composed his expression, but I saw it clearly.

Not a scoff, but a genuine laugh.

My heart lurched at that fleeting expression.

‘What is this destructive power?’

The impact of witnessing my favorite character’s smile right in front of me was immense.

“You really do nothing but spout nonsense every time.”

Was it just my imagination?

His voice seemed noticeably softer.

“…I wish you’d smile more often.”

I meant it sincerely.

Yes—now I finally understood.

Why I came to like Iart.

“Your Highness, you’re a really good person. So I hope you’ll always smile, and that you’ll be happy.”

I’d thought he was similar to me.

What I was saying now were the words I had always wanted to hear myself.

That you’re a good person, and so you deserve to be happy.

Seeing yourself as ugly, as worthless—that was truly painful.

But I couldn’t stop thinking that way.

It felt like everyone saw me like that, and there was no one who ever told me otherwise.

“…What do you know about me, spouting such impudent words.”

If someone else had heard it, they might have thought Iart was angry.

But knowing him as I did, I could tell he wasn’t.

His ears slightly reddened, his eyes lowered.

When Iart tried to hide his embarrassment—or his good mood—those were the habits that gave him away.

“I just wanted to show you how I truly feel. I don’t think you’re frightening. That wasn’t something you chose.”

“…….”

Iart’s eyes wavered as he looked at me.

Then, without saying a word, he abruptly turned away and walked off.

“Whew, I’m exhausted.”

This might have been the most physically demanding day so far.

While a banquet was prepared for the protagonists, the extras worked tirelessly in the background.

They said it was a new story for new protagonists, but this hardly felt like being a protagonist.

I hadn’t realized the banquet would last all day, either.

With events continuing endlessly, it was only the attendants who grew busier.

“Irenea, here.”

“Oh, thanks.”

We finally managed to rotate shifts—it was my first meal of the day.

I took the sandwich Serena handed me and bit into it.

Humans really do live to eat.

As the sandwich slid down my throat, I finally felt a bit of energy return.

“Serena.”

“Hm?”

“Do you know when this ends, by any chance?”

At my question, Serena tilted her head briefly before answering.

“It’s different every time, so I’m not sure. But birthday banquets usually go on until sunset.”

The energy I’d just regained seemed to drain right back out of me.

If this were my original body, it wouldn’t have been a big deal.

That body’s only redeeming quality was its health.

But this body—while not particularly sickly—didn’t seem very strong either.

My feet already throbbed, my calves and shoulders were stiff and sore.

I was reaching the limits of my stamina.

“Are you having a hard time? Want to go rest for a bit?”

Maybe she heard the sigh I let out unconsciously; Serena asked with concern.

“No, I can’t be the only one resting.”

“Maybe you haven’t fully recovered yet.”

“Maybe?”

Thinking about it, I hadn’t rested much after getting injured.

That might have something to do with it.

“There’s nothing you need to do right now, so go rest a little. I’ll call you when it gets busy.”

“…Are you sure that’s okay?”

Honestly, I felt guilty—but even more than that, I was relieved.

“Of course. When I first started, the first event nearly killed me too. Don’t worry—go rest.”

As Serena smiled warmly, it almost looked like there was a halo behind her.

“Thank you, Serena. You’re an angel.”

“Hahaha, what are you talking about?”

She waved her hand and laughed heartily.

“There’s nowhere suitable here, so go rest in your room.”

“Yeah. I won’t forget this kindness.”

“It’s not that big a deal. Go on. Just come back around dinner.”

“I’ll be back on time!”

Leaving Serena, who was practically pushing me out the door, behind me, I headed for my room.

“Ugh…!”

The moment I opened the door, I staggered straight to the bed like a zombie.

As I collapsed onto the soft mattress, a groan slipped out on its own.

“Ahh, I can finally breathe.”

Thanks to Serena, I was able to get some rest.

If I’d kept working nonstop, I might’ve ended up bedridden.

This fragile body really needed some training.

Maybe I should start exercising regularly.

“…Ah.”

After tossing and turning for a bit, I rolled onto my side and noticed a neatly placed book on the bedside table.

At the same time, my conversation with Iart came back to me.

—……Aren’t you afraid of me?

It saddened me that all these circumstances had pushed him to ask something like that.

When I read the novel, I’d been deeply immersed—but I still thought of it as a made-up story.

Yet now I existed here, which meant this place was reality.

And all the emotions the characters felt were vivid and real.

I’d thought everything was just fabricated, but to them, everything was real—genuine.

“…I feel kind of strange.”

I murmured quietly, weighed down by complicated emotions.

More than when I’d nearly died, or when I realized I couldn’t escape.

What happened earlier felt like some kind of awakening.

In that moment, I saw myself.

To think the reason I liked Iart was because he resembled me.

It was surprising how similar we were, without me even realizing it.

Labeled a monster, shunned by everyone.

In that situation, I’d simply pretended to be fine and carried on.

Even though, in truth, I wasn’t fine at all.

“Haah……”

Memories I hadn’t meant to recall suddenly resurfaced, leaving my mouth dry and rough.

It was always like this.

Memories I thought I’d forgotten with time.

Memories I was sure I’d cleaned away completely—yet one day they’d pop up again, like dust rolling around in my mind.

—Ugh, what is that? It’s gross.
—Scary. What if it’s contagious?
—Hey, don’t come near me.

Those were the words I’d always heard.

What hurt most was how used to them I’d become.

Back when I was young, still playing with friends.

At that thoughtless age, we weren’t afraid of anything.

Messing around with a lighter we’d picked up on the street, the flames caught my clothes in an instant.

I froze, unable to even think of taking my clothes off.

The friend who’d lit the fire just stood there, crying loudly.

His mother came running at the sound and doused me with water, preventing a major disaster.

But by then, my body—left unattended for too long—was already scarred.

Because of those scars, my ordinary life fell into ruin.

Even the friend who’d initially felt sorry eventually began to avoid me.

And that’s how I ended up alone.

“…Why bring this up again now.”

As I grew into adulthood, people’s gazes softened somewhat—but the scars carved deep didn’t heal easily.

I hid them, forcing smiles and acting cheerful, while inside I slowly burned away.

Everyone, deep down—even now.

I couldn’t shake the thought that although they acted otherwise, inside they felt the same.

Just like Iart now.

“So is that why I came here?”

I picked up the book and stared at it as I murmured.

Maybe—to become the kind of person I wanted to be.

Maybe that’s why I came here.

It was unlikely, but the thought crossed my mind.

“If that’s the case, couldn’t you have given me a better position?”

Like Ruelle, for example.

In the original story, Ruelle pitied Iart for suffering from madness, but at the same time feared him.

But if I were Iart—

I wouldn’t want someone who pitied or sympathized with me.

Just someone who treated me as me.

Whether madness or anything else—someone who accepted me as I was.

That’s the kind of person I needed.

Iart might not feel the same way, but at least I did.

“…Enough. Enough!”

To stop my mood from sinking further, I jumped up and shouted.

In any case, I was living as Irenea now—and would likely continue to do so for some time.

No amount of dwelling would change the past.

And what could be more foolish than clinging to it?

What I needed to think about now was the future.

I couldn’t be sure what the book wanted, but changing the story nonetheless.

That was the priority.

“Get a grip.”

I clenched my fists tightly.

Once I safely got through this situation where my survival odds were at stake—

Then I could live a new life, however I wanted.

‘Yeah. Let’s not think about it now.’

There were too many things weighing on my mind.

The conversation I’d had with the strange man at that suspicious shop.

And Iart’s image, lingering stubbornly before my eyes.

I closed my eyes and tried my hardest to push the thoughts away.