IMCI 59

Chapter 59

Kartan fell into despair as he looked into Lillian’s startled eyes. When she hadn’t avoided his lips, he had been filled with hope that perhaps she had opened her heart to him.
There was a time when his heart had fluttered, when he had felt as though he possessed the whole world. That was before he saw the two of them embracing.

Is it because you’re afraid of the Grand Duke?

Yes. Thinking that way was far more reasonable by common sense—so why had he clung to such a ridiculous hope?

The more he had hoped, the deeper his disappointment.
The more his heart had fluttered, the greater his despair.
The happier he had been, the more painful it became.

Right. I knew everything from the start anyway. There’s no need to get hurt.

But the reality he awoke to after the dream was unbearably cruel. Even so, he could never let Lillian go. If only he let go, everything would end—yet he couldn’t.

And so, little by little, something inside him was collapsing.

“Lillian, why are you so tense?”

“…Pardon?”

Seeing Lillian flustered for a moment, a sudden urge crossed his mind—to wrap his hands around the slender neck before his eyes. No, perhaps if he dragged her to his room just like this and left a mark proving she was his, this pressure threatening to burst inside him might finally subside.

Kartan forced himself to conceal the burning thirst within and let out a soft, humorless chuckle.

“Doctor Selly said you suggested going on a picnic together. She told you to go once the weather warms up.”

“Ah… that’s what you meant.”

Lillian was visibly relieved. That sight was so lovely that Kartan resented her for it. No matter how desperately he struggled, he could never have her. And so he hated himself for failing to win her heart.

I love you.

Whenever she smiled at him so brightly, it felt as though he had swallowed seawater—his insides burning away. That was why he wanted to expel the blazing mass inside him as soon as possible.

But the moment I say it out loud, I’ll never get to see you smile again.

A lonely smile formed at the corner of Kartan’s lips. Watching him, Lillian blinked.

“The picnic can wait until another time, so please don’t worry too much.”

“Alright.”

At her resolute voice, Kartan unconsciously placed his hand atop her head. Then he suppressed the narrow, twisted emotions surging up from the deepest abyss of his heart.

Right. It doesn’t even have to be love. Fear—or at the very least, pity—would be enough. As long as you stay by my side for a long time.

“By the way, Doctor Selly clearly said she wouldn’t go back then. It’s surprising.”

“I know. It’s late, so hurry upstairs and get some sleep.”

“Huh? Aren’t you going to sleep too, Your Grace?”

“No. I have something to take care of.”

Lillian stared at him for a moment, looking puzzled, then turned away. Watching her gradually recede into the distance, Kartan clenched his fist.

I have to find the bastard who cast that damned spell on Lillian as soon as possible.

Lillian’s life was like a burning candle. He never knew when it might melt away and vanish.

No matter how I look at it, Jeffrey—that bastard—is suspicious.

The fact that he had suddenly defied orders and returned after doing nothing but desk work. And looking back, it felt unsettling that he had been the one to give Lillian a job in the imperial gardens. The gardens were connected to every part of the palace.

They were also linked to the place where the late emperor had carried out his “sacred” deeds.

Moreover, having been placed in a position where he could access imperial confidential documents, there was a strong chance he knew about the things the late emperor had done. And since he had maintained a long-standing friendship with Lillian, perhaps he, too, knew about her abilities—just like Kartan did.

I should’ve dealt with him long ago.

In every way, he was an infuriating nuisance.

Staring at Lillian until she vanished into nothing but a black speck, Kartan reached his hand behind a pillar.

Dirty and vile things—I can handle them, just like always. There’s no need for you to peer into such a deep abyss.

Soon after, Kartan left through the main gate of the Grand Duke’s residence. By then, an axe was in his hand.

12. Conflict

“Good day, Lady Lillian.”

Not many days later, an unexpected visitor arrived. It was John, the direct secretary of Baron Jeffrey.

Lillian spoke in a slightly cold voice.

“What brings you here?”

To be honest, she wasn’t particularly pleased with John, who had openly spoken ill of the Grand Duke at Jeffrey’s farewell gathering. Still, she wasn’t heartless enough to turn away someone who had come all this way.

“Well, um… I truly apologize for what happened then. I couldn’t help myself—I just felt so sorry for the baron….”

With an awkward expression, he continued.

“In truth, the baron’s youngest sibling is gravely ill. The doctors have said it may be difficult for her to survive past this year. Thinking of the baron being sent off to a remote island so far away in such circumstances overwhelmed me. Please forgive me, my lady.”

Startled, Lillian asked again,

“The baron’s youngest sibling is sick? Alice?”

“Yes.”

Upon hearing the answer, Lillian was left speechless by the shocking news. Alice was the only one among the baron’s family with whom Lillian had maintained regular contact.

This can’t be… Now that I think about it, she wasn’t around the last time I visited either. I did find that strange….

“She must be only seven years old at most….”

“That’s right. Such a pitiful young lady. So, if I may be so bold… could you perhaps explain the baron’s situation to His Grace the Grand Duke? Even if only to ask him to postpone the appointment. You are close to him, aren’t you? If it’s you, my lady, he might listen.”

With no father, Alice relied on her older brother Jeffrey as though he were her father.

I should have looked after her while the baron was away. I was so careless—to not even know she was sick….

John then held out a neatly wrapped roll cake. Seeing the logo of a famous patisserie on the packaging, Lillian could tell how deeply he cared about Jeffrey’s family.

Even John is going this far… what have I been doing all this time?

Looking down at the roll cake now in her hands, Lillian was consumed by self-reproach. More precious and weighty than any bribe ever offered to her, it carried immense meaning.

But His Grace the Grand Duke surely won’t agree. There’s no reason for him to.

Recalling the lonely smile she had seen on his face last time, Lillian bit her lip.

Yes. There’s no need to trouble him with this. This is a debt of the heart I owe—I should be the one to resolve it.

While having the baron by Alice’s side would offer comfort, it wasn’t a fundamental solution. Treating Alice had to come first.

If Doctor Selly examines her, maybe we can find an answer. And if that doesn’t work….

Lillian clenched her fist.

After John left, Lillian explained the situation to Doctor Selly and asked for her help.

Even if Lillian were to use her own power to save Alice, it would have to remain a secret from the outside world. That made Doctor Selly’s assistance absolutely essential.

The moment she received Doctor Selly’s agreement to cooperate, Lillian immediately wrote a letter to Jeffrey’s mother.

Dear Madam,

I heard from Baron Jeffrey’s secretary, John, that Alice is ill.

I know a doctor of medicine—an exceptionally capable person who once served as the personal physician to Her Majesty the late Empress. If she examines Alice, there may be a way to save her. No—she will surely find a way!

I wish to repay, even in a small way, the kindness I have received from the baron. I would be deeply grateful if you would permit Alice to be seen by the doctor.

—Sincerely,
Lillian—

The reply from the baron’s mother arrived in less than half a day. It said that Alice’s condition was critical and that she wished to meet the doctor as soon as possible. In response, Lillian immediately visited Jeffrey’s home together with Doctor Selly.

Alice’s mother welcomed the two of them warmly.

“Thank you for coming all this way.”

“Not at all. You must have suffered greatly all this time. I’m here now, so please don’t worry anymore.”

Doctor Selly reassured her, even taking her hand without hesitation. Soon after examining Alice’s condition, the doctor’s expression hardened.