ILIOTS 15

Chapter 15

I immediately recognized the sound of military boots and went out to meet him, wearing the brightest smile I could manage.

“Giles!”

But that day, the atmosphere was unusually tense. He called me by my real name.

“Lily.”

Giles looked exceptionally haggard. He seemed angry, or maybe just fed up with something. He stared at me intently, and I froze under his piercing gaze. I felt like the moment had finally come.

Something had definitely happened. It might even have been related to me. I wasn’t sure if I was in danger, since he hadn’t said a word.

To test him, I impulsively hugged him. He would either let me be or push me away. Giles didn’t push me away. But he didn’t say anything or hug me back either.

I was desperate to match his mood in any way I could.

“I’m sorry… it’s just that I’m happy you came again.”

It was a lie. Every time I heard the sound of boots, my heart would sink. I appreciated the food he brought, but… I had never actually welcomed him.

In a voice as rough as metal, he asked,

“…May I?”

“Excuse me?”

“May I hug you?”

He was asking my permission. I nodded, at least for now. I couldn’t say no here. He reached out to me but ultimately didn’t embrace me.

“…Next time, I’ll bring you another set of clothes.”

“You already did.”

“Not that one. Proper clothes.”

“I like this one because it’s warm.”

I opened the coat he had given me. I liked it, but I was also afraid that he would come again under the pretext of giving me clothes.

Giles was in a bad mood that day. I had to lift his spirits, but I didn’t know how. He was so uncomfortable, with the shadow on his face and the silence around him, that I made a suggestion.

“Giles, can you play the piano?”

“A long time ago, yes.”

“So that means you’ve played before? I thought so. People with a talent for music show it in their eyes. I have a request… could you play the piano for me today?”

He seemed completely taken aback that I would ask him that. But what surprised me even more was that he didn’t refuse. He sat down at the piano.

He started playing a simple exercise piece. He had obviously been away from the piano for a long time, and he stumbled over the keys.

Afraid he might get angry at me for making him do this, I sat beside him. I played the melody two octaves higher to help him along.

We played together. With my assistance, his performance improved slightly. Giles looked at me. I smiled reflexively. I had no choice but to try to look appealing to him.

His playing slowed slightly. He leaned toward me, almost entranced, and his lips met mine. My mind went completely blank. Giles kissed me.

I had experienced a similar situation once before. Memories of the past flashed through my mind.

I had always known this would happen.

…It was inevitable.

When he realized I wasn’t reciprocating, he awkwardly pulled away from me.

It couldn’t be helped… It was like resisting gravity—it was impossible. I had no other choice.

I kissed him first. If this was what he wanted, I had to give in. If it meant I could survive, I would do anything.

I didn’t want to be shot or dragged to prison. In my life, closets and underfloor spaces were punishment enough.

I realized that Giles Hessen was simply a shy Johann Meyer. From the start, he had approached me with this intention.

There’s no such thing as altruistic kindness in this world.

In the past, I had pushed Johann Meyer to the floor and threatened him with shards of a broken mirror. But this time was different. I would never sacrifice myself for others—but for my survival, that was another matter.

My family’s status was not more important than my life.

And my life came before my body.

Giles held me tightly, kissing me with increasing urgency. I braced myself. I thought he might lift my skirt or unzip his pants. The possibility was very high.

But the way he clung to me and kissed me, he did not lift my skirt or unzip my pants. At some point, he withdrew and simply rested his face on my shoulder, holding me close.

And he whispered words I couldn’t understand.

“You’ll stay by my side. Just stay by my side. That’s enough.”

If this were a heroine in a radio drama, she would have been moved to tears and showered him with praise. But I was sweating nervously.

Next time, it won’t end with just a kiss.

Today passed without incident, but if he came again tomorrow… I had no idea what would happen. Of course, I was ready for anything.

That night, I stayed awake in terror. No matter that it was for survival, fear was unavoidable. I had never been with a man before, and the thought of a large man treating my body like an object paralyzed me.

I knew he would surely return, so I stayed up, eyes wide open. I didn’t want to sleep. If I slept, tomorrow would come, and I would have to see Giles.

No matter how much I thought about it, I did not want to give my body to anyone.

Yet Giles did not immediately act on his desires. I had no idea what he was thinking, making eye contact difficult. Each day felt like walking on a razor’s edge.

Today passed, but there was no guarantee about tomorrow. Every time he sat next to me and looked at me, I was afraid he might start touching my thighs.

I lived each day in a tense balance, afraid every night. The fact that he did nothing only made me more fearful.

Why does he do nothing? What is going through that man’s mind? If he won’t do anything, why does he keep coming?

Giles, who used to leave quickly, began staying longer in the mansion. I still could not complain. I had to behave like a good child. Only then could I survive. So I always greeted him with a smile. Always.

Then one day, his visits stopped abruptly. I was confused as to why he suddenly ceased coming. Part of me was scared. Was he preparing to come with the army to capture me?

I didn’t know what to do, so I remained still. But Giles remained completely absent. The next day, and the day after, and even a week later—he still didn’t come.

It was clear. This was my chance. I couldn’t just sit and wait for time to pass. I decided to escape from the mansion while Giles was away.

When he visited every other day, I had been too afraid to try. But now, things were different.

Unlike before, my body had gained strength and weight. I could walk far.

I walked determinedly toward the path I knew. I had taken this road once in a car. If you drove for ten minutes, you would reach a small town with people and a train station.

I had nothing but my body, but I had no choice but to move forward. I was the only one who could protect myself. I had to be brave.

The farther I moved from the mansion, the faster I walked. It was my first time leaving the mansion on my own. Finally, my destiny was in my hands.

The thought made me feel oddly happy, and I might have smiled a little.

I had to leave Salzburg before Giles found me.

I kept looking back as I walked, afraid a black car might appear.

But he never showed up.

How would he react when he realized I was gone? Perhaps a little irritated. But he would forget me quickly. I was just a mediocre woman who played the piano. A man like Giles would have women everywhere—there was no way he would miss someone like me.

At least, that’s what I had to believe.