IJLMT 44

Chapter 44

• “You who gave your heart for me, why aren’t you here? Even in my chest, a heart beats for you.”

Yuju sang. Even though I knew exactly how she was going to sing, my chest still swelled with emotion. Or maybe it swelled more because I knew?

• “Oh, really? It sounded really sad.”

At that moment, something felt off. From listening to Im Yuju’s songs over and over, and after countless conversations with her, I realized that Yuju is an honest and logical person. That attitude extended to how she approached singing.

But when she started practicing Heo Yujin’s A Person Who Doesn’t Exist in This World, I didn’t get that same feeling.

I looked at the onion bracelet and thought to myself:

“Just now… she wasn’t being honest.”

A leaf growing from the onion bracelet formed an O shape. As I spoke, I realized that Yuju dislikes talking about family. But my role wasn’t to help her bury her dislike—it was to help her sing well.

Yuju found her courage. I saw her bite her lips and avoid my gaze. Still, she continued to share her thoughts. Yuju listened to me as I said them.

Though it didn’t show on camera, Yuju said to me:

“Thank you. Thanks to you, Hyunjae oppa, I realized it… no, I think I finally admitted it.”

“Admitted what?”

“That I resented my parents. When I moved between relatives’ houses and had to eat with caution, I hated my parents. But I knew they were struggling even more miserably, so I thought I shouldn’t harbor such feelings.”

“Who wouldn’t resent their parents in that situation?”

Then Yuju smiled softly.

“Exactly. The important thing isn’t to deny that I resented them, but how I respond to that feeling.”

Yuju said:

“I hated my parents. At the same time, I loved them. No, I think I hated them because I loved them. Isn’t that how family is?”

And now, Yuju stands on stage. Will people understand that she had to dig into painful memories to sing that song? That she faced the thoughts she didn’t want to think, yet overcame them to get on stage?

Being stuck backstage felt suffocating. I could only see the audience’s reactions through the camera.

The camera zoomed in on the audience: a balding man and a middle-aged woman who looked like his mother were sitting side by side. The man was sobbing, and the woman patted his back.

Sniff…

“Sniff?”

There’s no way I could hear an audience member’s sniffing from here.

The sound came from Heo Yujin.

When our eyes met, Yujin quickly covered her face and said:

“…Don’t look.”

“Well, Yujin. What’s this? Tears?”

It was Lee Hyungyeop, the vocalist of the rock band Sunflower, speaking. He was the oldest and most experienced singer present.

“How could I not cry? My feelings… the two young ones know all of my feelings. No one but my husband understood me, yet these two know. How could…? Edit this out. Don’t show me.”

Winning or losing wasn’t even on Yujin’s mind. Yes, that’s the power Im Yuju had.

Hyungyeop handed Yujin a handkerchief. Then Nam Sunwoo spoke:

“Haha… but don’t I have to go back there and sing next? I want to cry a little too.”

During the instrumental break, everyone added their words:

“Yuju is a genius…”
“Honestly, I didn’t think she could sing a song like this.”
“It’s unreal, really.”

When I first entered the Gagasu studio, there was a subtle sense of underestimating Im Yuju. But now, not at all. Everyone was feeling the pressure.

When Yuju finished singing and was greeting the audience, Hyungyeop spoke:

“Manager Hyunjae, how do you do that?”

“Excuse me? What do you mean?”

Using slightly exaggerated gestures, Hyungyeop continued:

“Just by listening, can you feel it? Can you tell what’s wrong and how to improve it? Watching the video, Yuju wasn’t at this level at first.”

“You put in a lot of effort.”

“Manager Hyunjae, what about my performance? I sang Yuju’s song. Was my interpretation correct? Be honest.”

All eyes turned to us. Hyungyeop wasn’t normally the type to ask such questions. I mean, look at it—why would a living legend, the vocalist of Sunflower, ask feedback from a 27-year-old rookie?

“How could I possibly evaluate a senior like you?”

“You can be honest. You have thoughts in your heart, right? You can see what I hesitated on, what I got too caught up in, right?”

“…….”

At that moment, Kim Shin spoke. Among us, he was the closest to Hyungyeop. Still, there was about a ten-year age gap.

“Hyung, you can’t do that. His purpose is to lift Yuju to the top. If you give him advice and he does better than you, that defeats the purpose.”

“True, that’s right.”

Hyungyeop easily understood and then said:

“So, how can I get advice from the manager? After the show? Or do I need to pay?”

I tried to maintain a stance of “how could I give advice to a senior?” but Hyungyeop didn’t even notice.

“Manager Hyunjae, I feel I have a lot to learn from you. You might think I’m floundering, but please, do contact me.”

He handed me his business card.

“I understand.”

I had no choice but to respond.

Finally, after Nam Sunwoo and Lee Jisoo’s performances ended…

“We will announce the results of the first round. The votes of the 500 audience members are—”

After the second round, the contestant with the fewest votes is eliminated.

If the future I saw is correct, Im Yuju will not be eliminated here. But the future I saw was after the show ended.

I don’t know the immediate results. One thing is certain: out of seven, Yuju was the best in my eyes.

Did the audience feel Yuju’s heart?

“Third place with 270 votes: Nam Sunwoo! And the remaining first and second places are Lee Hyungyeop and Im Yuju—”

On the screen, their names appeared. Numbers began to climb. Both Hyungyeop and Yuju stopped at 291 for a moment.

But that pause was brief. Yuju’s number began to rise further… past 300… more…

“An incredible result. Second place: Lee Hyungyeop with 291 votes. And first place… Im Yuju with 417 votes!”

Everyone backstage couldn’t hide their astonishment.

The audience of 500 voted for three different people each. The fact that Yuju got 417 votes means 417 of 500 chose her.

It was only the first round, yet the result was astonishing.

After filming, Yuju came to me and said:

“Oppa, I got first place. Thanks to you.”

“Well done.”

“You promised to give me time if I won. Can we?”

Even if she hadn’t won, I would have made time…

I nodded, and Yuju said:

“Then can we go for a walk? Each with an ice cream… there were a lot of cherry blossoms nearby.”

“Will that be enough?”

Yuju smiled gently.

“It’s only the first round.”

Yuju checked SNS reactions. She usually didn’t look at social media, but today she was curious. Would people understand? What Hyunjae had done for Yuju, and what she had overcome thanks to him?

[ Singer is a Singer, Episode 67, Im Yuju, A Person Who Doesn’t Exist in This World edited version ]

• My mother passed away from stomach cancer. Before she died, she was discharged and made pink sausage pancakes for me. I didn’t cry at her funeral, but when I saw the sausage pancakes in the fridge, I sank to the floor. No one else in this world could make these pancakes anymore.

• My father became disabled in a car accident and couldn’t work. Lying at home, he said to me, “I’m sorry I didn’t die.” At that time, my emotions were all tangled. I always wondered what that feeling was, but listening to Manager Hyunjae, I understand. I think I hated my dad then. I thought, “Even if it’s hard, just ask to live together. Why didn’t you say that?” Yes. I hated him because I loved him. Thinking this way, my chest feels completely relieved.

• The saying is true: if you sing well, comments say you sang well; for classic songs, people share their stories.

• There’s no time to comment on high notes, I was too busy crying.

I laughed. Why do I feel so good? Maybe because this result was achieved together with Hyunjae?

But then, one SNS account caught my eye.

@lifeispain

• But isn’t Hyunjae kind of much? Not even an expert, yet meddling with Yuju’s emotions?

• Reply: Hyunjae can meddle, he’s awesome, he even defeated intruders.

@lifeispain

• What does defeating intruders have to do with evaluating singing? Fans are insane.

• Reply: This guy’s inferiority complex is off the charts, go outside, friend.

“…….”

I knew. It was familiar. No one who steps into the public eye is free from malicious comments. Even a delivery restaurant owner can receive unfair criticism.

This level was actually very mild. The ratio of negative comments was low, and fans quickly defended against them. Normally, I would have ignored it, but today I couldn’t.

“Hyunjae oppa is meddling? How dare he…”