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Chapter 33
Sereret’s expression twisted slightly as she asked how it felt for one’s first love and fiancée to become friends.
“First love? You mean Lady Elliot?”
Yuan frowned as he asked.
“Who else could it be?”
“Who says that?”
“Everyone does.”
In your past life, you showed it yourself. Sereret shrugged.
“Being swayed by rumors isn’t a very good way to live.”
“You mean I should ignore them and stay centered? Thank you for the advice, Your Grace.”
Sereret bent her knees in a curtsey and walked past Yuan toward the stairs.
She meant to head straight to her room, but Yuan followed right after her. He blocked her path and held out his hand.
“Where did the affectionate fiancée from dinner go?”
Sereret just stared blankly at the outstretched hand, so Yuan took her hand first. He stroked her wrist gently with his thumb.
“Looks like she’s gone home.”
Tensing at his touch, Sereret pulled her wrist free. But Yuan immediately caught her hand again. He held it firmly and quietly gazed at her.
“Do you have something to say?”
Sereret’s expression asked, Why are you doing this?
“No.”
“Then why are you still holding my hand?”
Sereret twisted to free her hand, but Yuan deliberately laced his fingers between hers.
“I don’t have anything to say, but I just feel like talking anyway.”
He wanted to press her about her strange behavior of befriending his first love. But he knew how ridiculous that would sound, so he held his tongue.
“So, nothing to say after all.”
She could feel him too vividly through the spaces between their fingers, and it unsettled her. Sereret yanked her hand free, perhaps a little ruthlessly.
Then she turned on her heel and strode away from him. She wanted to get as far away as possible, but Yuan kept following as though intent on bothering her.
“Why do you keep following me?”
Climbing the stairs, Sereret shot a glare at Yuan walking beside her.
“My room and study are on the second floor too, as far as I know.”
“…”
Well, that was true. Sereret felt awkward but kept climbing the stairs with a straight face.
Once on the second floor, she headed toward the guest room as usual. Though Yuan had said he was going to his room or study, he followed her instead.
“Your Grace’s room and study are over that way, aren’t they?” Sereret pointed to the opposite direction.
“I just thought of something I wanted to say.” Yuan’s lips curved upward.
No matter how he turned it over in his mind, the only reason Sereret might have befriended Lydia was to strengthen her case for divorce.
The fact that she was preparing for divorce before they were even married was infuriating.
Maybe that’s why he suddenly wanted to do something unlike himself. To punish her, to act on his own whim.
“Then please, say it. As Your Grace’s fiancée, I’m always ready to listen—”
Her words were dripping with sarcasm, when Yuan’s lips brushed against her cheek.
Her eyes went wide. What… what is this all of a sudden?
“What… what are you doing?”
She looked at him, flustered. He found her reaction pleasing.
“What do you think this is?”
He asked lazily.
Would she understand that this was his punishment? A warning that no matter how much she tried to escape, she couldn’t? Of course not.
“I don’t know! Don’t do things like that, just say what you mean!”
Sereret rubbed the cheek where his lips had touched, scowling.
Unbothered, Yuan tilted one corner of his mouth into a crooked smile.
“I did. I told you good night.”
“…What?”
“A goodnight kiss.”
He lied shamelessly, though that kiss held no such sweet meaning.
Sereret let out a sharp, incredulous laugh. Isn’t he being absurd? Why act like this when he never did before?
That he would do something she thought he only did for Lydia left her dumbfounded. Maybe he was just mocking her.
“Well then, good night.”
She replied with a crooked smile.
“Too much sulking makes it boring.”
He kissed her cheek again.
Sereret tried once more to rub it off, but this time Yuan caught her wrist.
“They say you only threatened to break off the engagement because you wanted attention. I’m giving you attention—so why reject it?”
He frowned slightly, displeased. Watching his fiancée rub away his kiss with an annoyed expression was not a pleasant sight.
“I’m fickle by nature. Just think of it that way.”
She pulled her hand free as she spoke.
It would be better if she could treat him consistently, but that wasn’t easy.
Pretending to love him, to act affectionate—her heart was too shattered now. What once had been the easiest thing had become the hardest.
“I never realized my fiancée could be so capricious.”
“Then please, my broad-minded fiancé, forgive me with generosity.”
“You mean I should find it cute?” Yuan chuckled.
“That would be nice. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”
Forcing a smile, Sereret turned away and entered her room. She rubbed at her cheek irritably, where his lips had touched.
The kiss brought back memories of her past life—things she did not want to remember.
Back then, Yuan had not been a kind, affectionate husband. There had been no small gestures of intimacy between them. Not even one goodnight kiss.
She had longed for his tenderness, enough to gather her courage one night.
His study light had burned late. Carrying tea for him, she had taken several deep breaths before knocking and stepping inside.
He looked up from his documents, his face exhausted.
“You must be tired. I brought you some herbal tea.”
She set the cup on his desk.
He gave it a glance, then returned his eyes to the papers. He hardly looked at her at all.
“Is your work heavy tonight?”
“Do you have something to say?”
He finally looked at her, his expression clearly annoyed.
Though it startled her, she had resolved to speak.
“I’m going to bed now. …Could you give me a goodnight kiss?”
She watched him nervously.
His face twisted. Her heart dropped.
“Can’t you see I’m working? If you keep clinging to a busy man with such pointless things…”
He trailed off with a sigh.
“…I’m sorry.”
Her face burned red at his reaction. Embarrassment and hurt stung her eyes with tears.
Before they could fall, she fled the study.
“Back then you only embarrassed me…”
The memory made her scowl.
Not long after that, at a tea party, Lydia had remarked that there was nothing happier than a lover’s goodnight kiss.
“He must have given Lydia hundreds, thousands of them.”
The thought soured Sereret’s mood further. She sat at the desk—it was time for her diary.
March 25
Was there any affection in Yuan’s goodnight kiss?
It felt obligatory, and that stung a little.
Though I was happy to receive a goodnight kiss from the man I loved, I couldn’t stop comparing it to Lydia. During dinner, Yuan looked at her so tenderly. Maybe the rumors aren’t lies after all.
It feels like my heart is tearing apart. Why can’t he look at me the way he looks at her?
As she mixed memories of her past life into her writing, she grew too miserable to continue.
The emotions that resurfaced from those memories weighed on her chest as if the events had just happened.
Yuan’s lips still seemed to linger on her cheek, making her scrub furiously until her skin turned red. Yet the sensation wouldn’t fade, leaving her irritated.
Irritation soon turned to resentment and frustration, and tears welled up. She wiped them away and bit her lip.
No, don’t cry like a fool. That was the past life. I won’t be hurt by such things anymore.
What I want from Yuan now isn’t love—it’s money. So those old memories are useless.
With a hardened face, she shut her diary.
Yuan followed the trail of blood across the floor. It stretched down the hall, leading to a room.
Whose room is this? Who’s bleeding like this?
Step by step, he approached and entered the open doorway.
A blonde woman lay collapsed on the floor. Her hair hid her face, so he couldn’t tell who it was.
Who is she?
“Poor thing…”
Behind him, Lydia’s voice broke with tears, and soon she began to sob.
Yuan reached toward the fallen woman, brushing the hair away from her face.
Slowly, her features were revealed.
“Sereret?”
It was Sereret lying dead.
He stumbled back, his eyes catching on the gun in his own hand. Then— bang! The gunshot rang out, shattering the air.
“Ha!”
Yuan gasped awake from the dream.
A dull headache and a crushing pain in his chest gripped him. But compared to the fear and unease overwhelming his entire body, the pain was nothing.
He sat up, his ragged breathing filling the dark room.
“Damn it…”
Running a hand through his hair, he cursed under his breath.
His mind and heart, ruled by anxiety, screamed at him—he had to see Sereret. Right now.
He left his bed and strode down the hall to her room.
At her door, he seized the handle, but did not open it.
Even if she was his fiancée, it wasn’t proper to visit at this hour. At least he still had that much reason left.
So he stood there for a long time, then finally turned back.
Back in his room, he sat on the bed, running a hand through his hair with a heavy sigh.
The same dream had repeated again and again, always with a woman dying in blood. The details differed, but that never changed.
And tonight, at last, he had seen the woman’s face.
“…Sereret.”
Her name slipped from his lips with a sigh.
Why did he keep dreaming of her death? Why did the dream repeat?
Frowning, he recalled the gun in his hand in that dream. As if he had been the one to kill her.
He looked down at his hand. Did I kill her in the dream? Do I want to kill Sereret Inohater?
Expressionless, he muttered,
“Do I want to kill Sereret Inohater?”
Cold moonlight cast over his face.
To be continued…
