IDWP 4

Chapter: 4

“Oh, it’s nothing. I just had something urgent to take care of, so I’m stepping out for a bit.”

She brushed me aside and left the house just like that.

She looked so hurried that, thinking I should follow her, I grabbed the first bag that came to hand and went after her.

Even though the sun had already set and dusk was settling in, she strode without hesitation toward the back mountain behind the village.

She moves faster than I expected.

I had anticipated that if I told her I couldn’t cry, she would go check on the pearls she had hidden—but I hadn’t thought she would act this frantically.

She seemed so distracted that she didn’t even properly respond to the greetings villagers offered her along the way.

Thanks to that, she didn’t seem to notice me following her either, which made tailing her easy.

After leaving the village and walking for quite a while, we arrived at a large, withered tree halfway up the back mountain.

She glanced around once, then suddenly crouched down and slipped her hand into a gap beneath the tree.

What she pulled out of the hole was a wooden box about the size of an adult’s head.

With a face full of regret, she opened the box and took out several items from inside, tucking them away.

The ivory color that showed briefly was unmistakably pearls made from my tears.

“If only I’d won that card game last night, these precious pearls wouldn’t have had to leave my hands again!”

At her cry, I realized the truth.

The woman I had thought of as my mother had been gambling with my tears as the stakes.

So even last night, when I was burning with a fever, she was gone because she was gambling.

The fact that she had no maternal affection whatsoever wasn’t even surprising anymore.

“Cashing them in takes time, so I’ll just have to make do with these today. She liked pearls, so she’ll pay a fair price.”

With that, she hid the box deep beneath the tree again.

Holding back laughter by pressing my lips tightly together was the best I could do.

Once she left and I confirmed that no one was around, I took the box out and opened it.

“Ha.”

Inside the old wooden box, ivory-colored pearls were piled high.

It was so absurd that I couldn’t even get angry.

Just as I had expected, she had diligently collected the tears I’d shed while she raised me all this time.

She must have hidden them here, continuing to deceive me, in case I ever discovered them and began to suspect that my tears were something valuable.

“This is unbelievable, really.”

It was hard enough to believe that she’d been living off her daughter’s tears—but gambling on top of that? She truly was the worst kind of mother.

“Is it because she’s not my real parent?”

I voiced the thought as it came to me, but knowing how foolish it sounded, the corner of my mouth twisted upward on its own.

“Even real parents fail to recognize their own children. Expecting anything from a fake one is a luxury.”

Unlike the ducal couple in the story, who immediately recognized their real daughter, my reality was utterly miserable.

I considered taking the entire box with me, then changed my mind and poured only the pearls into my bag.

After burying the empty box back under the tree, a pleasant smile finally appeared on my lips.

Usually, when she went out, she wouldn’t come back for at least three days—sometimes as long as a week.

If she realized I was gone later, she would surely rush back to check on the pearls first.

She would feel relieved when she saw the box was still there, wipe the cold sweat from her brow, and open it.

And then she would despair when she saw the pearls were gone.

If she had gone home to check on me instead of heading to the gambling house, that wouldn’t happen, but…

“There’s no way.”

I snorted and firmly closed my bag.

“I’m sorry, Mom. I can’t be the only one who gets to feel that filthy sensation of hope appearing, only to vanish, right?”

A chill wind, unseasonably cold for early summer, brushed past me.

Feeling the cold, I unconsciously placed a hand over my chest, where I could feel my heart beating warmly, pounding with life.

Thanks to all the sensations reminding me that I was alive, I managed to suppress the emotions that had surged up.

“I’m alive.”

So then, what should I do from here on?

Setting aside my momentary emotion, I reached a calm conclusion.

“No matter how I think about it, I don’t need the protagonist’s role.”

I didn’t need the family who failed to recognize their own child and persecuted me as a criminal, nor did I want the position of saintess offered by a worldly temple.

The crown prince?

How could the man who whispered love to Elodie possibly be my destiny?

Just the sight of him disgusted me.

Everything Elodie coveted, everything the protagonist was supposed to enjoy, didn’t make me envious in the slightest.

If I didn’t want them, wouldn’t it be right to give them to the one who did?

“I’ll give you the protagonist’s seat.”

Since it was the position she wanted so badly, I would personally place it in her arms—so she couldn’t dare refuse.

And when she thought she had completely obtained the role of protagonist, I planned to ruin everything and leave it in shambles.

There were two years left until Elodie would come to the grand duke’s estate to use me, the protagonist.

I briefly considered heading there first and turning the first helper she met to my side, but…

“Pouring two years into that blindly would be a waste.”

I needed to escape the arms of the nursemaid wearing my mother’s face, and above all, as nothing more than a servant of a ducal house, I was woefully lacking in power to take revenge on the Duke of Hexwood, the crown prince, and the temple.

“Then there’s only one place.”

Although in the future it would collapse without resistance because of a foolish leader, at present it was the only organization that held power equal to the imperial family and the temple.

“The Mage Tower.”

At this point in time, he should still be at the Mage Tower.

Felion, the deputy tower master who was more respected by the people than the tower master himself.

A man born into a high-ranking noble family who abandoned his house to devote himself to the path of magic.

People used to say that if Felion had remained at the Mage Tower, it wouldn’t have fallen so easily.

He himself seemed to think so too, as he said he regretted leaving the tower in the hands of the tower master.

Though he pretended otherwise, he clearly had a great deal of affection for the Mage Tower.

Perhaps in this life, not only my future, but also the future he regretted could be changed.

It weighed on my conscience that I would have to use him, since he had helped me in the past, but…

“Do you know about mermaid pearls?”

He had been deeply interested in mermaids.

“You seem to have talent as a mage. Would you like to become my disciple?”

Despite his appearance, he had been kind.

“Are you worried about a friend? What a ridiculous excuse… No, never mind. You can’t force someone who doesn’t want it. If you ever need help, come find me.”

He had been astonishingly generous to someone he’d just met.

I hugged the bag filled with pearls tightly to my chest.

He might be the deputy tower master, but that didn’t mean there was absolutely no way to meet him.

Felion would never be able to simply turn me away.

Even if it requires a bit of lying… it should be fine, right?

“But before that, I should take everything I can.”

I turned around and headed back home.

As expected, the nursemaid had gone to the gambling house, and the house was completely empty.

I went into her room and searched every corner without hesitation, uncovering one hidden valuable after another.

Seeing that the items were there without any certificates or receipts, it was obvious they’d been won at the gambling house. I took everything, just in case.

After finishing my preparations to leave, I sat at the desk and slowly wrote a letter.

[Hello.
My name is Lia, the daughter of Julia, who lives in Dillian Village.
I heard that my mother worked for the Hexwood Ducal House before giving birth to me, and so I am taking the liberty of writing to you with a request, despite my rudeness.

I suffer from a curse-like illness where my tears turn into pearls.
My mother has worked day and night to treat my illness, but it has never been cured, and since her career was interrupted because of me, she has been struggling greatly.

I don’t want to be a burden on my mother any longer, so I am planning to leave home. However, I worry deeply about my mother being left alone.
So I beg for your mercy—could you please help my mother return to the ducal estate?

You may think this is a childish and thoughtless letter, but I had nowhere else to turn, which is why I sought you out.
In case you think I am lying, I am enclosing one of my tears.

If this letter from a cursed person offends you, I sincerely apologize.
I will await your reply.

From Lia of Dillian Village.]

I neatly folded the letter I had worked so hard on, placed it in an envelope with a small pearl, and sealed it.

The recipient was the Hexwood Ducal House.

They would have no choice but to read this letter.

Because the sender would be the nursemaid who had disappeared together with the lost youngest daughter.

After ruining someone’s life, could it really end with merely losing some property?

When the people sent by the ducal house arrived here to find the missing young lady, the only one they would meet would be the nursemaid Julia, plunged into despair.

The journey to the Mage Tower was easier than I had expected.

“A train, huh. This is convenient.”

In the past, when heading to the grand duke’s estate, I had switched between hired carriages to save money, but this time I had sufficient travel funds, so there was no need for that.

Located at the eastern edge of the continent, the trip involved frequent transfers and was both long and cumbersome, but before I knew it, we were nearing our destination.

Still… could I really do this?

Though I had returned to being fifteen now, in my previous life, at twenty-two, I had been falsely accused of being a witch and died miserably before a crowd…

Perhaps we had entered a tunnel, because the inside of the train grew dark.

Feeling stifled, my breath caught in my throat, and I rubbed my neck while taking a deep breath.

Soon we emerged from the tunnel, and not long after, a tall, slender tower began to come into view outside the window.

Perhaps because I’d recalled the moment of my death, a sudden wave of anxiety washed over me.

“It’s okay.”

Even Elodie, who was just an extra, stole my destiny. If that was the case, didn’t it mean that I, the protagonist, could also change the fate given to me?

“It’s different this time.”

I steadied my breathing and clenched my fist.

“I can do this.”

Just then, an announcement came over the speakers saying that the next stop was Estella, the city where the Mage Tower stood.

I raised myself onto my toes to retrieve my luggage from the overhead rack, but my hand couldn’t reach it.

As I was wondering whether to call a staff member for help, someone approached and spoke.

“Hi. You look like you’re having trouble—want some help?”