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chapter 35
“Wrapping your arms around my neck will make it more comfortable.”
At Mu-wol’s whisper, I quickly did as he said. As our faces naturally drew closer, I muttered inwardly,
‘This is insane.’
Mu-wol began walking while holding me in his arms. His touch became even more pronounced.
‘Why am I like this?’
Was it because this was my first time having such close physical contact with a man, or because Mu-wol was handsome and well-built? I couldn’t tell, but I felt embarrassed either way.
I had been staring at the ground for no reason, then slowly lifted my head. Mu-wol immediately noticed my gaze and asked,
“Are you uncomfortable anywhere?”
“No, I feel very steady and comfortable.”
“It can’t be that comfortable.”
Chuckling softly, Mu-wol stepped over the threshold. Under the blue sky, I saw the guests gathered in the yard and the lavish bridal palanquin decorated with red silk.
Behind Mu-wol, who was placing me inside the palanquin, stood my father and my older brother Jin-han alongside our relatives. My father was crying his eyes out like my mother had, and my brother patted his back while silently mouthing,
—See you later.
I nodded and adjusted my posture. Soon, the palanquin doors closed, and everything went dark.
The flower palanquin carrying me drew the attention of many as it headed toward the groom’s house.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen such a luxurious wedding.”
“But it seems like none of the groom’s family has arrived yet? I don’t see a single one of them.”
“Shh, be quiet.”
When we arrived at the groom’s house, the carriers set the palanquin down in the yard. The door opened again, and light streamed inside. I reflexively covered my face, then quickly lowered my hand. Mu-wol was waiting in front to help me out.
Holding my arm, he whispered,
“It might be hard, but bear with it just a little longer. It’ll be over soon.”
“…Shouldn’t I be the one saying that?”
Mu-wol, who had carried me out of my house in his arms, now had to carry me on his back into his own home.
“I’m not heavy, am I?”
“Not at all.”
Replying gently, Mu-wol turned his broad back to me. I quickly clung to him, and he skillfully carried me inside.
Family members and friends who had taken another route were waiting for us with the wedding feast prepared. In front of them, we bowed in order to heaven and earth and then to our parents. The ceremony was now reaching its end.
“Here, drink.”
We sat on the bed we would share from now on and drank the wine brought by my mother.
‘It’s good.’
Though I didn’t usually enjoy alcohol, today it tasted sweet. After finishing every last drop, I set the cup down, and one by one, people left the room.
“Then we’ll take our leave.”
“Don’t worry about outside. We’ll take good care of the guests.”
With meaningful smiles, the last friends left the room, closing the door behind them.
“….”
As soon as we were alone, silence filled the room. Sitting quietly beside Mu-wol, I unconsciously scratched my cheek—then flinched. My hand felt unusually cold.
‘…Did I get drunk from just one drink?’
My face burned. Even my wedding clothes suddenly felt suffocating.
‘How long do we have to stay like this?’
Gathering courage, I turned to look at Mu-wol—only to be startled. He was staring at me.
“Is something wrong?”
“Ah, well…”
Trailing off, Mu-wol’s gaze fell to my clothes.
“Wouldn’t it be better to take them off?”
“W-what?”
I stuttered in shock. I thought Mu-wol wasn’t interested in such things… what?
‘Take them off?’
My head started spinning even more. I thought he was a straightforward person—this realization was shocking. But at the same time, I thought:
Even if we don’t have intense feelings for each other, we are married. If nothing goes wrong, we’ll even plan for children. We should at least get the first step right.
‘The problem is…’
How was I supposed to handle physical intimacy with Mu-wol? Even being held earlier had been awkward and embarrassing—now I had to go further.
The moment I imagined kissing and hugging him, my body stiffened.
Maybe I’d die of embarrassment during our newlywed period. But…
‘What is this?’
Deep in my heart, I felt a faint sense of anticipation and excitement.
Like doing something naughty behind my family’s back, or opening a box I shouldn’t… my heart pounded.
‘I don’t hate this situation.’
Of course I didn’t. That man was kind, handsome, and now officially my husband.
‘But… not like this.’
I needed more courage—perhaps more alcohol. I took a deep breath.
“Sojin, your breathing is uneven. Is it because the clothes are uncomfortable—”
Before Mu-wol could finish, I grabbed the bottle and drank straight from it.
“Sojin…?!”
The alcohol went down twice as smoothly as before. I quickly emptied the bottle and said meaningfully,
“I’m ready.”
“…Ready for what?”
“Mu-wol—no, husband.”
I moved closer to him and said,
“My parents raised me like a delicate orchid, but I know everything I need to know.”
“…Sojin, I think you’re drunk.”
“Hey!”
I suddenly thrust my face close to his.
“I’m not drunk!”
“Your eyes are unfocused…”
“My eyes are always a bit like that.”
I pressed both hands firmly on his shoulders.
“So first…”
Push.
“I’ll take the initiative…”
Push, push.
“……”
No matter how much I pushed, Mu-wol didn’t budge.
“…Did I marry a person or a rock?”
“…I’m a person.”
“Then lie down first.”
“No, this—”
“If you’re a person, just lie down first.”
Finally giving in, Mu-wol said,
“…If you tell me why, I will.”
“Well, because we have to kiss.”
“…What?”
“Oh, wait.”
I looked at him seriously.
“You’ll take yours off too, right? It’s not fair if only I do.”
“Of course I would—wait.”
Mu-wol hurriedly grabbed my arm as I tried to untie my sash.
“Please don’t do this.”
“Why? You told me to take it off.”
“…I see.”
Mu-wol sighed.
“I’m sorry, Sojin. I made you misunderstand. I only meant you should change into something more comfortable.”
“Comfortable clothes?”
I stared at him blankly, then nodded.
“Oh, you prefer comfortable clothes over fancy ones? Fine. I’ll wear something comfortable at our next wedding.”
“Sojin…!”
“Yes, I’m right here, husband.”
I grabbed his shoulders again.
“The night is short, so hurry—ugh!”
The strength suddenly drained from my trembling arms. As I collapsed against his chest, Mu-wol looked down at me.
Burying my face into him, I murmured,
“So warm…”
“……”
“I don’t want to move away…”
At that moment, a wave of sadness suddenly washed over me. Memories of my past life surfaced—how my parents only hugged my older sister and younger brother.
I had asked to be hugged too, but was scolded instead.
But somehow, this man felt like he would accept me, so I kept clinging.
“Stay with me… don’t just favor them…”
Mu-wol’s hand, which had been about to gently push me away, stopped.
Only then did I relax and close my eyes.
After watching me silently, Mu-wol spoke quietly,
“I can at least stay by your side.”
“……”
“If someone like me is acceptable to you.”
But I was already asleep and didn’t hear him.
Unfortunately.
