🔊 TTS Settings
Chapter 2
Part 1. Hell
Chapter 1. Return (1)
I’m back.
The moment the realization sank in, an unbearable wave of nausea surged through me.
“Urgh…”
“Lady Florence!”
I clamped a hand over my mouth, but it was no use. Even after forcing myself to vomit the bitter fluid rising in my throat, the nausea refused to subside. If I could, I would have cut open my stomach and washed every last one of my organs clean.
What had touched this skin? What had I said with this mouth…?
If only I couldn’t remember. But the memories in my mind remained painfully vivid, not fading in the slightest.
Filthy. Disgusting and revolting.
“Oh, heavens, Lady Florence! Are you all right? Go ahead and let it out!”
“Urgh, ugh, blegh…”
“Julia, contact the doctor! And the master, too!”
I faintly heard someone running out of the room. As I desperately retched, trying to force something out of my empty stomach, the maid gently rubbed my back.
Her name was Helen. I had never met her before, but she was a woman whom ‘Jang Hyeonji’ had kept close and cherished while making use of her for five years.
When I lifted my bowed head, I met a pair of gentle, greenish-brown eyes gazing at me with concern. She looked at her mistress as though she were genuinely worried about her own little sister. Even while struggling to catch my breath between bouts of nausea, I couldn’t suppress a hollow laugh.
Helen’s concern for ‘me’ was ridiculous. I wasn’t ‘Jang Hyeonji,’ and the woman Helen was so worried about had merely considered her convenient to have around and easy to order about. She hadn’t even treated Helen like a human being.
And Helen had no idea.
“Haa… Hah…”
“Poor Lady Florence…”
With tears glistening in her eyes, Helen took my hand. It was filthy with vomit, but she didn’t seem to care in the slightest.
“I’m so glad you’ve opened your eyes. I believed you would wake up, Lady Florence!”
“…Your hand. It’s dirty.”
“It’s not dirty at all. Oh, even your fingertips are warm again.”
It frightened me that she genuinely meant what she said. There wasn’t a trace of deceit on Helen’s face as she looked at ‘me.’
I thought I could understand why Jang Hyeonji had kept her close and treated her with such affection. Someone so blindly devoted must have been awfully convenient to take advantage of.
Just as I had been, once.
Someone who would readily give away her heart for the smallest kindness, the cheapest show of sympathy, or a handful of tears.
Jang Hyeonji was a woman who always chose whatever was convenient for her. Everything in this world was a gift prepared especially for her, and she simply picked out whatever suited her tastes.
She was the kind of person who could get away with it.
And yet, everyone loved her.
“…I…”
I hoped I could speak without sounding unnatural.
“How long… have I been lying here?”
“It’s already been ten days. You couldn’t even open your eyes, and you kept growing weaker and weaker. Oh, dear God. Everyone said you would never wake up again, but we kept believing in you. We knew you would get up just like this, shake it all off, and be back on your feet…”
How unfortunate.
The person who had opened her eyes wasn’t the Jang Hyeonji Helen had been waiting for.
“The master was especially worried about you. It was heartbreaking to watch him. He stayed by your side and prayed for you until this morning, but he could hardly eat or sleep…”
Of course he did.
I kept my mouth shut to stop myself from making a sarcastic remark. Though Helen seemed like the sort of person who wouldn’t take anything I said in a negative way, no matter what.
“Th-that man is currently…”
“Unfortunately, the Dowager Lady Lindquist summoned him, so he went out this morning. But he stayed right by your side until the very last moment before leaving. Please believe me.”
“I believe you. Of course I do…”
That man had genuinely loved Jang Hyeonji, after all. I had absolutely no doubt about it.
In my memories, his black eyes had swirled with a strange, feverish intensity whenever he looked at ‘me.’
If that was what people called love, then I would rather die without ever knowing what love was.
I wondered what that man had thought as he held my abandoned body in his arms after Jang Hyeonji had left it behind.
Suddenly, I felt like bursting into laughter.
“I sent word to Julia, so he’ll be back by tomorrow morning at the latest. In the meantime, you should see the doctor before the master returns. Oh, what am I thinking? I’ll contact the church and ask a priest to come, too. You must receive a blessing…”
“What time is it?”
“It’s just past half past one in the afternoon. Don’t worry. I’ll take good care of you until the master returns. How does your stomach feel? Are you still nauseated?”
“I’m fine, Helen.”
“Even if you don’t feel well, you still need to eat something. I should ask the cook to prepare something soft and nutritious. I know it’ll be difficult to eat, but you must force yourself to swallow at least a little. Understand?”
“Helen.”
I cut off her endless stream of words with a firm voice.
Helen stared at me with wide, startled eyes. Rubbing my throbbing forehead, I spoke.
“The doctor has already been called, so there’s nothing we can do about that. But there’s no need for a priest. I’m fine.”
“But…”
“I said I’m fine.”
Helen opened and closed her mouth in confusion.
Ah. Jang Hyeonji wouldn’t have spoken like this. She was the sort of person who spoke playfully and cheerfully. But right now, I didn’t have the energy to cater to Helen’s feelings.
My head felt as though it were about to split open.
“And I’m dizzy.”
“Lady Florence…”
“Could you change the bedding and prepare a bath for me? And I’d like you to leave me alone for a little while.”
When I finished speaking and looked up at Helen, she hesitated before nodding. I held out my hand, and she helped me to my feet.
Remaining on a bed I’d just soiled with vomit was unbearable.
Damn it, my legs were too weak to support me.
Leaning almost entirely on Helen, I somehow managed to sit down in a chair.
I need to escape. Right now.
At this rate, I probably couldn’t even walk out of my bedroom on my own, let alone escape.
How badly had she abused this body? What on earth had she done to leave it in such a state…?
As though having my body stolen from me for five years weren’t enough, now I had to deal with all the consequences, too. It was enough to drive me mad with resentment.
Even though that woman had regarded my body as her own, she had pushed it to this extent.
The ‘me’ in those memories hadn’t done anything particularly strenuous. In fact, she had been treated far more delicately than I ever had.
She had never lifted anything heavier than a quill pen.
And yet, I was in this much pain.
Perhaps it was because I couldn’t use the strength she had wielded so naturally.
Magic and spirit arts.
Clutching my throbbing head, I bent forward. There was nothing left to throw up, but the nausea was so overwhelming that I could hardly bear it.
The world spun around me.
I felt as though I might pass out, but I couldn’t afford to.
I was terrified that if I lost consciousness again, someone else might steal my body all over again.
“Lady Florence. I’ve changed the bedding. Come lie down here.”
“…Thank you…”
I answered softly. Even speaking was difficult, but I couldn’t say nothing to Helen after she’d practically carried me over when I couldn’t even move on my own.
I couldn’t believe this was happening. Just a few steps had been enough to make my vision blur, and vomiting on an empty stomach had left me barely able to stay conscious.
Five years ago, I hadn’t been particularly healthy, either, but I’d never been this bad.
“Think nothing of it, Lady Florence. Get some good rest.”
Helen smiled, her cheeks flushing a peachy pink.
It was a happy, delighted smile.
Her smiling face blurred in my fading vision.
No one had ever smiled at me like that.
“I’m so happy you’ve woken up, Lady Florence. I’m truly so relieved…”
I didn’t answer.
Helen’s ‘Florence’ wasn’t me.
I didn’t know what to say in response to someone’s heartfelt concern.
I never had.
Helen gently stroked my forehead and pulled the covers up around me. Only after making sure I was tucked in did she finally leave.
Left alone, I squeezed my eyes shut.
The blanket Helen had draped over me was so heavy that I couldn’t even pull it off myself.
Think. I have to think.
Just because I’d regained my body after five years didn’t mean I could afford to get swept up in the emotion of it all.
I had to get out of here. Immediately.
At least I still have until tomorrow morning.
Until that devil returned.
