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Chapter 45
Helena continued to glare at Aaron with narrowed eyes, but in the end, she reluctantly handed the poker back to him.
In truth, she had realized that something like a poker probably wouldn’t be enough to break down a sturdy door anyway.
At the very least, she would need an axe—but just imagining finding that heavy axe, hauling it all the way to the workshop door, and chopping away at the thick wood made her lose her nerve.
She spoke curtly.
“Fine. I’ll retreat for today.”
The carving was clearly suspicious and evidence she absolutely had to secure, but it seemed she would have to give up for now.
Even so, she didn’t want to admit defeat and simply withdraw like this. She decided to take advantage of Benjamin’s absence and rummage through his office instead.
But Aaron kept following her.
In front of Benjamin’s office, Helena spun around sharply and said to Aaron,
“Sir Aaron, this isn’t the workshop.”
Aaron replied with a bright smile, as though flowers were blooming.
“I’d like to stay by your side a little longer, madam.”
Helena glared at him with eyes full of irritation.
So he has no intention of easing up on the surveillance.
Like lord, like adjutant. Aaron, grinning shamelessly while telling such obvious lies, didn’t seem normal either.
It seemed today was a lost cause for digging into Benjamin.
Helena said coldly,
“Do as you please.”
Aaron then asked, as if probing her,
“By the way, what business do you have in the count’s office…?”
Helena replied indifferently,
“I’m planning to drill a hole in the floor and climb down into the workshop.”
“Pardon?”
“I’m joking. I finally have some free time to myself after a long while, so I thought I’d reply to some letters from home.”
She emphasized the words ‘time to myself’, but whether Aaron truly lacked tact or was simply good at pretending to, he kept grinning as he followed her into the office.
“I’ll refill your ink for you, at least.”
Helena let out a heavy sigh and sat down at the desk Benjamin only used on rare occasions.
With such an annoying watchdog stuck to her, she couldn’t search the office, so it looked like she would have no choice but to write an unplanned letter.
I suppose I should play the dutiful daughter for once.
She took out fine stationery and a quill pen, opened the ink bottle, and—like someone who genuinely intended to write a letter—began by writing the recipient on the very first line.
[To my indifferent father, my cold-hearted stepmother, and my younger siblings who are surely laughing happily together, having already forgotten their half-sister.]
“Oof…”
Just thinking of the Winston count’s estate made a sigh escape her.
She hadn’t realized it while she was there. She never imagined she would miss that place this much after leaving it.
Why on earth did I leave my own home behind and end up here?
The worst wedding, the worst journey on the way to Burwood, and the worst place she arrived at afterward unfolded in her mind like a panorama.
Her hand gripping the quill began to tremble.
[Father, Stepmother. I hate you. No matter how urgent things were, how could you send your daughter off like this without even properly investigating the man you were marrying her to? If you knew what kind of hardship I’m going through, you wouldn’t be able to sleep peacefully with your legs stretched out.]
She desperately wanted to scribble this down.
But if she did, the Count and Countess of Winston truly wouldn’t be able to sleep peacefully, worrying about Helena.
In the end, Helena let out a long sigh and began writing a blatant lie in neat, refined handwriting.
[Indifferent Father, cold-hearted Stepmother. Have you been well? Your obedient and well-behaved daughter has been getting by reasonably well.
When I first saw the County of Ishpern, I was astonished by its long history. It did take a little time to adjust, but in any case, I’m doing well now.]
As she soaked the quill with ink, Helena thought,
They say people grow up once they get married. I suppose I really have grown up—if I’m even lying about doing well just so Father and Stepmother won’t worry.
[I’m sorry for not contacting you sooner. Since the castle had been without a lady of the house for so long, there was an overwhelming amount to take care of. And since we even held a banquet not long after my arrival, things were quite hectic.]
Crackle, crackle.
The firewood in the fireplace popped as it burned.
Aaron, who had been watching over the fire, was now nodding off.
In the pleasant silence, Helena continued writing. Most of the letter was meant to reassure the Count and Countess of Winston.
However, when it came to Benjamin, lying was difficult.
In a long, two-page letter, Helena could barely manage to write a single line about him.
[I’m still a little uncomfortable with my husband, but I’m sure we’ll get along soon.]
Only in the final part of the letter did she write from the heart.
[My beloved Eliza, Ira, and Henry. You haven’t already forgotten this half-sister, have you? I miss you so much that I can barely eat, and every night I soak my blankets with tears. You must do the same. When I return to Hodlin, I’ll be checking your bedding—so make sure you soak it well with your tears.]
Helena laid the letters side by side to let the ink dry.
Looking at the pages filled to the brim with writing, she thought about how much she wanted to return to Hodlin along with the letters.
To do that, I have to send Benjamin straight into the abyss first.
She glanced sideways to check on Aaron.
Having been dozing, Aaron had now completely fallen asleep in front of the warm fireplace, even snoring softly.
She took out a fresh, small sheet of paper and wrote at the very top:
[To Her Majesty the Empress.]
It was a letter addressed to the Empress.
From here on, she had to be extremely careful.
If she had a trained bird, things would be easy—but Helena had no such thing.
In the end, she had to send a letter through official channels, which meant it would pass through several hands, and imperial inspectors would examine its contents.
That meant there could be nothing suspicious in the letter.
[First of all, I would like to express my gratitude for introducing me to such a fine marriage prospect. Here in Burwood, I have been spending my days in great peace……]
As she wrote one polite formality after another, Helena glanced at Aaron. He was still sleeping soundly, his head bobbing.
Carefully, she dipped the quill in ink. For some reason, her heart began to pound.
[……And lately, I have been caring for a single bird. A very small bird, but one that is extremely wary.]
At that moment, Aaron murmured in his sleep.
“Nooo…!”
Startled, Helena almost scraped the hard-written letter and splattered ink everywhere.
Suppressing her racing heart, she shot Aaron a murderous glare.
Aaron had tilted his head back, mouth hanging open, making a long “kuh…” sound.
Helena continued writing, the quill scratching softly.
[Because the bird is so cautious, it seems it will take some time before it grows close to me. Your Majesty keeps many birds, does she not? If only I were closer, I could seek Your Majesty’s advice……]
But something felt strange.
The more she wrote, the stranger she felt.
Helena truly hated Benjamin. He was a vile man who married her for her dowry.
On top of that, he was insensitive, irresponsible, poor, lazy, filthy, and overbearing—someone whose fate she wouldn’t care about no matter what happened to him.
And yet, when she found herself barely writing about Benjamin in the letter to the Empress, her mood soured.
Why?
She stopped writing and chewed on the tip of her quill, lost in thought.
No. This isn’t just for me. If Benjamin really is connected to a subversive group threatening the empire’s safety, then for the future of the empire, I have to stop it.
Just as she steeled her resolve—
“Sis, I don’t want to wear a dress…!”
Aaron suddenly shrieked.
So startled was Helena that she screamed as well.
“Good heavens!”
“Gah!”
Awakened by her sharp scream, Aaron jolted upright, rubbing around his mouth with his sleeve and darting his eyes around.
Panicked, Helena instinctively grabbed the letter she had written to the Empress and crumpled it tightly in her hand.
Eyes wide, Aaron said,
“My goodness. Was I asleep?”
Having barely calmed herself, Helena sneered,
“It seems Sir Aaron doesn’t like wearing dresses.”
Aaron’s face instantly turned red, as though it had caught fire.
“W-what are you talking about? I have no idea. My lady, look at the clock. It’s nearly midnight already.”
“Yes. Let’s get up now.”
