HSYR 41

Chapter 41

The women did not eat it. Occasionally, curious young noble girls would taste a little—just a very little—but swallowing it was out of the question.

According to their explanations, wild boar meat tasted like burnt straw with a charred smell. She had never eaten straw, but somehow she could imagine the flavor.

Of course, Helena would never do such a thing. Her curiosity did not extend to beast meat. Beastly men, perhaps—but not beasts themselves.

“Madam, are you all right?”

Wesley supported her. Helena had just leaned against the arm of the butler, scented with expensive perfume, when her eyes flew open.

‘A butler… my butler!’

A perceptive man like Wesley would surely understand her sense of horror.

Sure enough, Wesley spoke with a face full of concern.

“It seems to be anemia. You’ll feel better if you eat wild boar meat.”

“…!”

At Wesley’s side, Joe came over and stood there. Discontent showed clearly on his cute face.

‘Head attendant… my head attendant!’

If anyone in this castle was as delicate as Helena herself, it was Joe. Surely he would understand her. Helena placed her last hope in him.

Joe widened his eyes and asked,

“Do you think Mr. Jones could cook it?”

“He probably can.”

“It’d be great if he could make prosciutto from the boar’s leg… The prosciutto my foster father makes is the best.”

“Come to think of it, there’s a smoking room in the castle. I should ask the chef whether prosciutto is possible.”

At that moment, Helena realized that there was not a single person in the Count’s castle of Ishfern who understood her heart.

Jones, who had never formally learned but somehow knew how to do almost anything, met everyone’s requests: he made ham from the two legs, prepared a dish for Madam using the best cuts, and skewered the remaining meat to roast in the oven.

As a result, a wild boar feast was held at the Count’s castle that evening.

While everyone ate, drank, and chatted merrily in the grand banquet hall, Jones even personally brought wild boar dishes up to the second floor for Helena, whose condition was poor.

“Madam, I grilled it with great care.”

His smile was so bright and proud.

Thanks to that, Helena had to sit at the table feeling like a condemned prisoner facing her final meal.

Knowing she would die if she ate it, yet unable not to eat—that kind of feeling.

Helena looked across the table at Benjamin with newly resentful eyes.

‘This is all because of that man.’

In the past, whenever she was unwell, her followers would seize the opportunity to shower her with gifts.

Chocolate, fine pastries, flowers, perfume.

The purpose of those gifts was to curry her favor, and true to that intention, they did help lift her spirits.

Yet what her legal husband had brought her was a foul-smelling wild beast.

She felt so miserable that tears threatened to spill.

But she did not want to cry pitifully in front of Benjamin, so she glared at him fiercely through tear-filled eyes.

‘This is the worst.’

Seeing Helena glare at him with tears welling up, Benjamin visibly flinched.

Avoiding her gaze, he said,

“There’s no need to cry.”

At the faintly embarrassed mutter in his voice, Helena felt the rising tears suddenly retreat.

She asked in a trembling voice,

“Do I really look like I’m crying because I’m touched?”

Benjamin, who had fallen briefly into thought, answered,

“You don’t look like you’re crying. You do look like you’re about to.”

Their relationship had always been strained, but today Benjamin seemed to be digging an even deeper trench of misunderstanding.

Helena gave up.

She had neither the energy nor the spirit to fight anymore.

‘I’ll just pretend to eat.’

She pierced the poached egg resting atop the salad with her fork.

Fortunately, salad topped with a fresh egg was something she liked. She planned to just pick at the salad and make a show of eating.

As she listlessly prodded at her food, Benjamin, who had been watching her intently, spoke.

“Eat the meat.”

Helena looked at him with eyes full of resentment.

‘How can someone be that oblivious?’

Just as she was about to snap back that he should eat it himself, Benjamin continued,

“I caught it because I was worried about you. Even if you don’t have an appetite, please eat at least a little, for the sake of my effort.”

Effort.

Helena bristled and shot back,

“Consideration without empathy is violence, you know?”

Benjamin replied calmly,

“Ignoring someone’s effort is also violence.”

“You’re good at talking back now.”

Benjamin shrugged.

“I have an excellent teacher beside me.”

“My goodness.”

Helena stared down at the plate holding the meat dish with a horrified expression.

The wild boar meat actually looked quite presentable.

It had been wrapped in dough and roasted in the oven; the crust was crisp, and the meat inside was rosy, making it look appetizing.

‘But it’s still wild boar… Absolutely not.’

As Benjamin silently stared at the untouched plate, he picked it up and personally cut a large chunk of meat.

When his knife went in, juices ran out freely. Helena’s face turned pale with shock.

After cutting the meat into dice-sized pieces, Benjamin speared one with his fork and held it out to her.

“Eat.”

“It’s… it’s bleeding…!”

“You lost blood. You need to replenish it.”

“N-no…!”

Helena shrieked and lifted her empty plate defensively.

A fierce battle ensued.

Fortunately, the fork’s long-range attacks were weak, and the defending plate was sturdy.

During their squabble, a piece of meat that bounced off the plate flew through the air and landed on Benjamin’s plate.

“You…!”

A faint anger surfaced on Benjamin’s face.

In a low voice, sharp with cold air, he said,

“Ha… fine. Do as you please.”

And he focused on cutting his food, staring only at his plate.

Helena felt a bit relieved.

‘Hmph. As if lowering your voice would scare me.’

She had no desire to put such a foul-smelling wild beast anywhere near her mouth.

‘Honestly, this is better. Since he’s sulking, it’s much more comfortable.’

Eating her salad with a lighter heart, Helena suddenly noticed Benjamin’s shoulders drooping.

“Ha…”

He was obviously wearing a gloomy expression without her even needing to look.

Imagining him sitting there with his head bowed and his usual hollow eyes made irritation surge up from deep in her chest.

‘Then why did you even bring something like this…!’

Helena took a deep breath and began rummaging through her depleted store of patience.

She thought she had none left, but it seemed there was still a little.

Perhaps it was thanks to her longing to return to the North.

She wanted to reclaim her life. And for her to rise again, she would have to dig up Benjamin’s deepest secret and push him into the abyss.

The groundwork for that was complete. Now she had to seriously begin uncovering the secret he was hiding.

But the clues were still nowhere to be seen, and to find them, she needed Benjamin’s trust.

So everything she was doing now was, in the end, to send Benjamin into ruin.

“…Just one bite.”

In the end, Helena had to spear a small piece of meat with her fork.

Staring at the glistening flesh with juices still seeping out made her feel dizzy.

‘Ugh…’

Helena squeezed her eyes shut and put the piece of meat into her mouth.

The first thing she tasted was the buttery aroma of the dough encasing the meat.

‘Just think of it as bread.’

But once she began chewing, rich meat juices filled her mouth. It was no longer something she could pretend was bread—it was unmistakably meat.

“Hnn…”

Helena chewed the meat with a tearful expression.

Accustomed to meals of tender white meat or fish, it had been a long time since she had eaten something this tough.

After just a few chews, she could feel her jaw muscles protesting in surprise.

But there was no gamey taste or unpleasant animal smell like she had feared. In fact, the flavor itself wasn’t bad.

“Hnn… mm.”

As Helena’s tearful expression gradually softened, Benjamin’s face brightened slightly as well.

“How is it?”

After swallowing the bite, Helena spoke.

“Well… it’s not bad.”

At her words, Benjamin straightened his shoulders and smiled with satisfaction.

“Wild boar tastes good at this time of year. They eat a lot in preparation for winter, so the fat is well developed.”

“Hmm… thanks for the knowledge I probably never needed to know in my entire life.”

Helena dipped another piece of meat into the red sauce, the same color as Benjamin’s eyes, and took another bite.